


Static

by cohanslauren



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flashbacks and stuff, Fluff and Smut, Gore, Multi, NSFW, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, and by slow i mean SLOW, blood and gore and all that good stuff, only slighty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-09-07 05:04:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8784217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cohanslauren/pseuds/cohanslauren
Summary: Adrian and Negan are too much alike to get along. So, it makes sense that the two are on opposing sides in the war that is to come. Only, the line between enemy and ally blur as the two continue to get in each other's cross hairs. Adrian struggles with a shocking revelation before she decides that succumbing to the darkness is easier than struggling against it.





	1. Meet the Royalty

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing any type of fan fiction. Enjoy it, leave comments and feedback and all that good stuff. It'd be greatly appreciated
> 
> Also, this is not proofread to full extent so yeah, keep that in mind as you read.

The water was clear as day as she gazed straight down into it, eyes focused and determined to catch some grub before heading back to the camp. The fish seemed to be in scarce supply since she had yet to see one travel past her legs, currently emerged in the cool waters. She began to grow impatient and almost moved to turn but caught a glimpse of something gray move in her peripheral vision. With as much graceful speed she could muster, she reached a limb out and grabbed the fish by its neck. It was a decent size, enough to fill up one person for the night, but they weren't just one person. The group, now much smaller than they were a month ago, consisted of six people, herself included. Somewhere down the dead-infested road, she had taken on the responsibility of keeping this group alive and actually leading them to... she doesn't know what yet, but she hopes something good. No one wants that job, no one wants to deal with the consequences of their mistakes, especially when every move you make can be at the expense of other lives. So now here she is, battling with the river's current to snatch little fish to bring back to their camp.

 

Orbit let out a growl next to her, urging her to turn in time to see him stomp his paw into the water, barely catching the end tail of a mean looking catfish. She reaches down and grabs it with a proud smile, its slimy skin threatening to slip from her tight grasp as it squirms to be freed. 

 

"Nice hustle, Orbit. That one's yours." She praises the Siberian husky, patting its pelt before starting to move out of the now freezing water. The winter relieved them of the scorching hot rays of the sun but left them in the vast wake of the coldest winter to ever hit Washington. At least that's how it felt.

 

She removes her overalls and changes back into her customary black jeans and black leather boots. The khaki green sleeveless shirt is slightly splattered with water and the cool breeze makes the water feel like ice against her front but she knows she'll manage.

 

She strings up the fish together on a line and moves to put it into a bag when the unmistakable sound of a gunshot resonates throughout the forest. The sound bounces off the trees, echoing in its vastness, causing her to freeze as she realizes it's coming from the direction of the camp. She knows the group knows better than to use guns unless absolutely necessary.

 

"Shit," she fumbles to store the fish away. Nimble hands quickly tighten her gun holster around a sickly slim waste, her knife, securely strapped to another slim thigh and two dao swords slung over toned shoulders.

 

"Keep quiet, alright buddy," she mutters to Orbit, feeling his fury tail hit her thigh as she stays crouched, making sure no one is around watching before breaking into a sprint in the direction of the gunshot. Her camp. Orbit runs beside her, clearly not running full speed so that he stays close enough for good measure.

 

So many scenarios flash through her mind but she ignores them all, choosing to deal with them once she is forced to face them. The fifteen minute walk to the river is cut to a ten minute run, her strides short but fast. Orbit hesitates beside his owner as a walker stumbles from behind a large tree and she keeps her pace steady as she pulls out one of her short swords and slices it without faltering.

 

She starts to see the RV of her group, several tents and the wires surrounded by traps. Stopping some yards away she realizes there are unfamiliar people standing toe to toe with her right-hand man, Marcelo. A well-built man, tanned to a nice shade that accentuate his bright green eyes, but she sees the defiance in them. And the fear. There's always the fear. It's like a pest.

 

One of the men intruding stands taller than the rest and not just because he's genetically tall. He has an aura of arrogance and authority that even she notices from a distance. She hates him already.

 

"Listen, I'm being pretty fucking generous here. I'm not making you kneel and kiss my ass like I normally do because you haven't fucking stepped out of line—yet. So do us all a favor and cooperate like a good boy.

 

"Who's the fucking leader here? It obviously ain't this spineless prick so who is it?"

 

He looks around to everyone in search of a response. He wears a typical biker leather jacket, some non-descriptive jeans and boots. Oddly, he accessorizes it with a red wrap tucked into the zipped up jacket. Hard to believe a man is worrying about fashion in the midst of the goddamn apocalypse. His hair is pitch black and so is his scruff, with the exception of the white threatening to overtake its original color. No one gives a response, not even a flinch, so he turns to a balding man with a handlebar mustache and jerks his head at him. A silent order. 

 

Mustache guy pulls out a gun and waves it around in front of everyone's face. More of this asshole's men start to do the same, each assigning themselves to one of the people. The people she's supposed to protect. The people she's supposed to lay it all on the line for.

 

Besides her, Orbit growls lowly as he sees each of his owner's friends being forced down to their knees. A gun designated to each of their heads. Marcelo is the most reluctant to kneel, his jaw prominent and sharp as he clenches it in anger. The leader of the group is nowhere to be found and then she instantly becomes hyper aware of her surroundings, paranoid that he'll snatch her from behind or suddenly appear next to her.

 

She doesn't know why she hasn't gotten up and shown herself. If she were to get caught hiding she'd probably look like a coward and the worst leader in history, but she refuses to move. Choosing to be patient and wait for her right moment. And it seems it will arrive sooner than she'd like.

 

One of the men not preoccupied with holding a gun to someone's head turns to look in her direction, Orbit's growl having probably sold them out. But he doesn't seem to have noticed her hiding figure just yet.

 

She moves slightly, head lowered further, body pressing up next to Orbit as they both attempt to hide behind a somewhat thick tree. Her hand reaches behind to pat his head twice, signaling him to stand down. He obliges, thankfully and she goes to reach for the gun in her holster.

 

The man approaches, gun up, eyes wide as he looks for what he assumes is a walker. He gets closer and closer, almost…

 

"Dave! Where you going?"

 

The man of the hour is back, holding what seems to be a bat wrapped heavily in barbed wire. He has it slung over his shoulder so carelessly and he looks so _calm._

 

"I heard something sir. Just checking it out," Dave calls back, still not turning back around to face her yet. And she waits with unsettling exudation forming on the base of her neck.

 

Wait, wait, wait.

 

"Alright, hurry the fuck up. Show's 'bout to start."

 

Jackass moves his attention to something else and before Dave can turn back around, she leaps up with catlike grace and jerks his head back in a choke hold, one hand covering his mouth to reel in his surprised gasp.

 

"Keep quiet or I'll blow your brains out," she whispers coarsely, her gun pressing firmly against his temple. He breathes heavily from the shock, but complies, holding up his hands in surrender.

 

So far so good. But she isn't an idiot.  

 

She begins to walk closer to the camp, Dave's huge body shielding her small one from view. They reach close enough that Jackass turns to look at the approaching man. He opens his mouth to say something but stops when he notices her working his man like a puppeteer.

 

"Leave," she growls, her voice barely above a whisper, but he heard. Time seems to stand still before a sickeningly wide grin spreads across his face. That's all he can really do as he feels excited by the challenge presented to him. She doesn't know it but he _lives_ for these kind of games.

 

"Oh, this is fucking gold. I do love a good showdown. And a woman with balls. Wait, are you the fucking leader of this group of pussies?" He asks incredulously, the question a realization at the fierceness she emanates. Amusement is splayed as clear as day on his face but she keeps her gaze impassive, a trick she has mastered with years.

 

"I gotta say, you look hard as shit, tuts. How about you put that gun down and we can talk. Like a couple of civilized fucking people. Name's Negan. What's yours?"

 

She feels it. Dave's hand twitches against his thigh, his movement causing his shoulder to move just slightly against her arm holding the heavy-loaded gun. She briefly registers the silver blade he's slowly getting a grasp on. In one quick motion, the gun is shifted downwards, one loud shot resonating as the knife drops and Dave lets out a painful howl.

 

"Leave," she growls once more, legs wide in a stance so that Dave's squirming doesn't move her too much. His whimpers are loud and clear in her ear as he clutches the hole in his right hand, the blood flowing and drenching his gray shirt.

 

"You're gonna fucking regret that--"

 

She cuts him off as, moving the gun's promising end towards Negan.

 

"I'm not gonna regret anything. Your boy _Dave_ here is bleeding out and if you don't get the fuck out of my camp to get him help, he's gonna die. So, I suggest you hurry along now. See, I'm _civilized_ enough as to offer you some advice."

 

There's a long pause and she realizes then that he is holding five of her people at gun point, while she only holds his one soldier. He can easily have all of them killed, probably having to sacrifice one man, but he doesn't strike her as the type to care. She tries to conjure a very quick way out of this but he beats her to the punch.

 

"Lower your weapons," Negan says, and it's as clear as day that some of his men are hesitant and sport confused features. They comply anyways, but they do so reluctantly, releasing their hold on their hostages.

 

Negan holds her dull-green gaze, that amused expression now subtle, but still there, "everyone move back to the trucks, not you Simon."

 

Eleven men leave. Two are left. Six against two. And a half.

 

"Simon take Dave back with the others." He orders once his men are no longer in sight, their retreating figures now invisible.

 

"No." she says immediately, instincts telling her this man is way too arrogant and prideful to just give up like this. And he is, his plan to dominate her are being squandered by her commands, as if _he_ weren't King Asshole. And he knows he is and he wears the title with unrelenting pride.

 

"Listen, _tuts._ I'm being extremely fucking nice here. I'm letting you off the hook without so much as a motherfucking warning. Don’t push your luck."

 

"I'm walking you three back to your trucks. I'm gonna watch you all leave and then you'll get rid of me." She demands, pressing the gun back into Dave's temple for good measure, her head jerking towards the direction where his men walked towards.

 

"Adr—" Marcelo starts, but she cuts him off with a look.

 

"Watch the place until I come back. Don't burn it down," she orders, brushing off the warning he was probably about to give her about this being a stupid idea. She didn't need to be told to know it was downright suicidal.

 

"At least take Orbit with you," he says after a pause, realizing she's too damn stubborn to talk to while she's in _that_ mode, "he'll follow you anyways, so might as well."

 

She keeps her stare on Simon and Negan while mulling over Marcelo's words, knowing Orbit will, of course, track her, alone. At least if she takes him, she can protect him.

 

Negan wonders briefly who the fuck Orbit is and why the sorry fuck was cursed with such an odd fucking name but his thoughts redirect to a darker path, instead trying to conjure up as many creative ways to torture and kill because that's what he wants to do to this _girl._ She made him look weak and pathetic in front of his _goddamn men_ and like hell if he's going to let her get away with something that severe.

 

She lets out low whistle and the sound of leaves crunching behind her fills the thick silence as the burly dog jogs over to stand beside her and she can _feel_ that steel, wolf-like stare that she just knows he's wearing as he growls at the two men in front of them.

 

"Cute dog," Negan says as he eyes Orbit before looking her over, then her people who are now standing, holding up their weapons towards the two men. For a brief moment she feels a tide of pride wash over her as she knows every one of these people are survivors who can hold their own and then some.

 

"On with it then," she says, moving behind them at a distance as the two men walk ahead of her. Orbit stays besides her as per usual. Her whole body still on high alert, even more so now that they walk in silence through the thick trees.

 

Fuck, fuck, _fuck._

 

"You know I'm gonna kill you, right?" Negan says out of the blue, making her glare into the back of his head at the apathy in his voice. But then he turns and there's that fucking smile again. Despite the threat, she is grateful that the excruciating silence is over.

 

"I know you're gonna try," she retorts, her voice void of any kind of hint at her anxiety bubbling deep down in her belly, threatening to spill out of her guts. But he doesn't know that and it angers him that she doesn't even seem slightly fearful of him like most people. He didn't think there was anyone left like him in the world, but maybe he was wrong. And if he was wrong, then she had to be rid of immediately. 

 

They reach the side of the road not so long after and there are multiple trucks standing idly by, Asshole's men clearly waiting for the return of their all-mighty leader. Her whole body becomes more tense, if that were even possible, as she takes in everything: the trucks, number of men, Negan's nonchalant swagger and Dave's sweat and limp body against her rigid, pulsing one.

 

"Tell your men to drive off. All of them." She demands, eyes dancing around as a dozen men lounge outside the trucks, some smoking, others glaring. Right at her and she _feeds_ off it. Anger makes people stupid. But it only drives her.

 

Negan shoots her a look before he yells at his men to roll out. They, again, hesitate and they leave one truck behind, for the three pencil dicks she assumes.

 

"Get in," she says, pointing her shining steel gun towards Negan again, ushering him to climb into the driver seat and Simon in the passenger seat. She leaves Dave to climb on his own as she retreats back into the shadows, gun, heavy and familiar in her hand, still drawn up and Orbit vigilant by her side.

 

"It was nice meeting you, _tuts_. I'll see you again real soon."

 

"Yeah, in your wet dreams," she calls out before turning to sprint back to the camp, Orbit hot on her trail as they zig and zag through the expansive trees.

 

She knows Negan is going to track them, whether he does it himself or has one of his henchmen do it but either way, they had to get the hell out the area. She just hopes Marcelo got the message. 

 

* * *

 

 

Sweat cooled against her skin as the wind blew into her chilled face, legs coming to a halt as she and Orbit reach the RV, up and running, waiting for their arrival. Marcelo definitely got the message.

 

"Hurry! Get in," he yells from the driver's seat and she moves quickly into the door, held open by America.

 

She's her right-hand woman and her best friend. She had been with her during the outbreak, her best friend since high school, throughout her career— its ascent and her breakdown after its downfall. It was one of the worst times in her life but now what used to be so important and life-defining seems so trivial, ironic really.

 

"Where we heading, boss?" Marcelo asks from up front, his tone and mood a lot lighter than it had been an hour ago, but still tense.

 

"Far away from this shit place. Maybe keep heading up north? Try to reach Pennsylvania." She says breathless, taking a seat on the passenger seat as smoothly as she can while the wheels drive over countless potholes, rocking the huge vehicle.

 

They make it back onto the road and she feels her body sag in her seat but the relief is only temporary before her traitorous brain springs back to life. The dubious feeling rears its head at the thought of this Negan guy giving up so easily. He seemed pretty adamant on establishing his authority and declaring himself King Dickhead. Men like him don't tend to roll over so quickly, not without a good fight.

 

She catches herself eyeing the streets intensely, every slight movement and sound jerking her around. Fuck. She's on edge, teetering on it, waiting for the moment she decides the fall over is preferable over the anxiety that comes with lingering around it, seeing the inevitable down below but fighting gravity's pull downward. She finds it a mission to steer her brain away from these thoughts, finds them recurring more often than not and she doesn't dare try to decipher what that means for her sanity. The world as she knew it once was gone in the blink of an eye and now all that was left of it were remnants of the old civilization but no sign of humanity in her sights.

 

"We're running low on gas, boss. I say we hit up that hidden gas station we were meaning to visit. Stock up and then keep heading north."

 

"Sounds fine." She mutters, shutting her eyes to keep from driving herself crazed at all the small, out of place things she seems to catch glimpses of as she stares out the window, all nothing in the end, but they still make her jittery. So instead, she closes her eyes and pretends for a minute that she is not currently fleeing from what could have been a home for them all. She pretends she is in a car— not the one she's in, but with her _partner_ from her previous life.

 

_"Y'know, everyone's entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege."_

 

_"Oh, cut me some slack. I didn't get a chance to grab a cup of coffee before we left, so I was a little off."_

 

_"Morgan, you dimwit, you blew our cover and nearly got us killed. If that's what happens when you don't get a simple goddamn cup of shit coffee then I think I'm gonna request a transfer once we get back."_

 

_He lets out an honest to God laugh, one of those that vibrate throughout the whole car, his pearly whites shining in contrast to his dark features. Beautiful. And she can't help but crack a smile at the sight of him._

 

_"You're not gonna do that. You'll miss me and my rapping skills too much, I know it."_

 

_That's not the only thing she'd miss but he already knew that._

 

The RV rolls to a stop in front of a small gas station, hidden behind an old building that looks like it's about to tumble from the slightest disturbance. The pumps are all dirty and sticky and dusty but no one complains as everyone stocks up their respective tins and Marcelo pumps directly into the RV. She goes up to the small box that is meant to serve as a concession stand and register. The door on the side is bolted and locked but she makes little effort before she has it wide open and boy does she regret it.

 

A decaying body, gray and wrinkled, old and stunk up is there to meet her at the door. She attempts to block out the smell of the rotting flesh with the crook of her elbow but it does little to relieve her senses. Quickly, she makes sure that it's been put out of its misery and then ambles on to look for any useful supplies. She only finds some stale snacks and a few bottles of water, and even some crisp hundred dollar bills. She looks at them for a long time, remembering how much weight they once held and now no one would even glance at them twice if they were to stumble upon it. She suddenly feels that pang feeling of nostalgia, wanting so desperately to remember that feeling of power that one would feel at holding a couple of these bills, but now she feels nothing of that sort. Just sadness. And anger.

 

"We're all set, boss." Marcelo's voice springs her back into the present and she nods, placing the bills back into its register, feeling a strange discomfort she can't really place.

 

A loud rumbling of engines and gravel being spluttered under heavy wheels forces her to put aside her inner turmoil and put back up her fierce leader mask. She and Marcelo step out of the cramped box and carefully, guns loaded and aimed, step around the edge of the building hiding the gas station. They're met with a group of three, one with an average height, but seemingly tall due to his swagger and aura of authority. Fuck, if she had to deal with one of these twice in one day. The other was clearly a bit less arrogant and more apprehensive, taking in his surroundings and approving of them before joining his comrade. The last one was a woman, real skinny and small but with a resting bitch face that not even her hat could conceal.

 

"Who are you?" The arrogant one asks, voice brisk and unforgiving, even though his aimed gun did enough of showing he meant business. So much for niceties.

 

"No one you need to point a gun at. We were on our way, anyways, this place is wiped out." She says, her words showing that she really didn't want an unnecessary confrontation, but her tone was warning. Warning them to take her one offer at showing they still were somewhat human and walk away, or stay and challenge her and see what comes of it. And fuck did she hope they backed off because she was _tired._

 

"Nowadays you gotta point a gun at everyone. You got a camp?"

 

_Seriously, dude, back the fuck off. I rather shoot than talk, really, give me the chance. I need to blow off some steam anyways._

 

"No. Now if you'll excuse me," she intends to end the conversation there, hearing the rumble of the RV which they packed and readied while she dealt with the arrogant man.

 

It rolled up behind her, just barely in her peripheral vision. _Back off, man._

 

"You need a place to stay?" The quiet one asks, his shaggy hair masking his eyes like he wants to be hidden but his voice doesn't waiver.

 

The arrogant man throws him an incredulous look but Shaggy chooses to ignore him and keeps his eyes trained on her. She has her poker face full on and she makes sure to hold his gaze, waiting and waiting for any sign or glitch that proves to her his true intentions. But it never comes and he holds her gaze equally.

 

"How many walkers have you killed?" He asks, breaking the stilled silence.

 

_What the fuck._

 

"More than I could ever count," she replies evenly, eyes still trained on his sky blue ones but she makes sure to stay alert to his comrade's movements as much as his.

 

"How many people have you killed?"

 

She stands there, knuckles strained as they grip her gun tightly, her other free hand twitching because in that moment she replays all the faces of the people she has killed, from before and after.

 

"Too goddamn many," she grits out, eyes still hard but she can feel her mask threatening to slip _any second_ now but she stops. Zones out for a nanosecond before she refocuses and secures her mask on tightly once again.

 

"Why?"

 

_Well isn't that the million dollar fucking question._

 

"Same reason as everyone else. Humanity has lost and now all you're left with is barbarity and you know what they say, 'you gotta fight fire with fire' or whatever," she responds evenly. Her response is thought over by the three musketeers staring at her intently, and she takes this standstill quiet to make her way over to the RV which is still running and waiting for her and Marcelo.

 

"We have a camp," Shaggy calls out, this time Sir Arrogant doesn't look at him as if he's lost all sanity, instead he just looks at her head on.

 

"Are you offering me and my people a place to stay? Sorry, but that's stupid—you just met me. You don't even know my name." She says, disbelieving that these people are actually stupid enough to offer complete strangers a chance to invade their home. Their safe place. Their fucking _sanctuary._

 

"I guess I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt," he replies and that answer alone makes her realize how naive and stupid he must really be. Either that or he's playing her.

 

They resume their staring contest and when her gut feeling screams at her that this guy seems actually genuine and not a threat, not to her at least, she does something she hasn't done in a while. She takes a leap of faith. Funny, she's not one for _faith_.

 

She looks over to Marcelo who, as always, is passive and just waiting for her orders. But he notices the very subtle question in her features that he answers in his own subtleness. She only looks away and her expression is enough for the three to understand.

 

"Name's Daryl, this 'ere's Rick and Rosita," so Sir Arrogant finally has a name, and fitting too.

 

"This is Marcelo. My name's Adrian," she finally says, hoping to all the Gods that this doesn't land her people dead.

 


	2. Run Girl, Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was ready to go days ago but I didn't have a chance to update given the chaos that is my life. Kudos go a long way to boost my ego so leaving some would be greatly appreciated. enjoy and leave comments if you'd like

Alexandria Safe Zone. Safe. Yeah, right. Nothing is safe in this newfound world anymore, not even your own head space is safe from the cruel darkness that encompasses the Earth. Of course, she would never say that to anyone, especially not Rick's people because come on, a place to crash _safely_ is everything nowadays. She knows her cynicism and skepticism will only isolate her further from these people. People who will probably become like her own, eventually, with time, if she lets them. So far, she has let herself stay open to the idea of bonding with these people, but she's still cautious. She's always cautious.

 

Maggie. She's her favorite so far, along with Glenn and Rosita. Maggie is a free spirit, open and inviting but strong and defiant, much like Rosita, except Rosita's got more of a biting humoristic persona to her. Glenn is sweet, although some of that has been roughed over by the world, she can tell, and has shaped him into a leader. But he's still human and she _admires_ him for it. She knows that is not easy.

 

Rick, on the other hand, is far tougher to get along with than the rest. He's closed-off completely, it seems, and she can only imagine why, but it's his overall demeanor that rattles her. He is so much like _herself_ that she finds it uncanny. She learned that he was a sheriff, similar to her past self, although she had more ranking over him in the past life. He's lost a partner and a lover, just like her and they've both been absolutely _fucked_ by the new world and have had to let go of most of their morals and basic human standards to not just survive, but to live.

 

Daryl. He's as quiet and submissive as they come, following and working alongside Rick for the most part, but by no means is he a pussy. He's tough, a skilled hunter, and a good people-reader, but she has a feeling he's had to learn from shit even before the world went to hell.

 

Marcelo and America have also welcomed this new haven with open arms, and the rest of her people have as well, she assumes because she has set an example. Despite Rick being the clear authority, Adrian has kept superiority over Rick among her people, but she has, by no means, treated Rick like anything but her equal. She has challenged him where it has been required, but she has also respected him and his people. But now? This is a decision that affects her people and his together, not separately, like most things have so far. It's been almost two months with them, that's enough time to feel like one of them right?

 

"Rick," she starts off, choosing her next words carefully so as to not sound like she's trying to undermine him but also strong enough to warn him of his stupidity.

 

"You cannot go in, attack a base you know absolutely nothing about, and expect there not to be any consequences. You're going based off the smallest amount of information, and you don’t even know if this guy has any more people, aside from this base. I'm not the only one who thinks this is a dangerous and stupid idea."

 

"We've got a plan. Scout out the perimeter, go in while they sleep, use Gregory's fake head to get the ones on watch to let their guard down. We'll kill this Negan guy—"

 

"Wait, wait, wait. This guy's name is Negan?" Marcelo interrupts Rick, shooting a knowing glance at Adrian who straightens up as she had been leaning on table, palms spread out as she stood. Now she is upright, silently eyeing Marcelo as she realizes this is worse than they thought. So far, Rick hadn't mentioned a name, and Adrian had never had the chance to ask, not that it really mattered. Names mean nothing in this time and age. Until now.

 

"You know him?" Rick asks her, watching as she and Marcelo hold their own silent conversation and he starts to feel apprehensive.

 

"Couple months back, the same day you, Daryl and Rosita found us, we had a run in with some Negan guy. He was not exactly pleasant— he's a fucking sociopath. I got off on a really bad foot with him and he basically promised he'd find me and kill me. I wasn't worried, he's arrogant and a downright dick. Now I hear he's got a base? I think he has more to back up his arrogance then. This guy is something else, Rick. I'm telling you, he's bad fucking news."

 

Rick stands up to pace around, running long thick fingers through gelled up hair. His face was set in stone as everyone sat around, waiting for him to make a decision and she could sympathize with how he was feeling; that pressure and weight is not easy to carry.

 

"We don't have do this, Rick."

 

* * *

 

 

_Fuck men and their egos. Always gotta think with that shit instead of their brains and goddamn common sense._

 

So now there they were, scouting the perimeter a day before the night Rick planned to go in and go through with the fucking killing spree. Because that is exactly what it is, but he doesn't see it that way. And she is not about to participate in something so inhumane.  She and others agree that Rick's method was not the most ideal or smartest, but no one spoke up because no one's opinion mattered — not unless you were in their inner circle. The goddamn council which she found herself being thrust into after she proved herself out on the battlefield against countless walkers and when she put herself on the line for her people and his people when those crazy _Wolves_ thought it a great idea to attack Alexandria. She supposes his people are now her people as well, and there is an undeniable respect between the two, from one leader to another, and he has never tried to undermine her or make her submit to him because he likes her challenges and uncensored opinions on his decisions, it helps take some of the weight off his shoulders. But he won’t tell her that.

 

She stood guard at the front post as most of the fighters and anyone-willed was out with Rick, going through with the _murders_ of dozens of men and women. She was upset, for the most part because what they were planning to do just goes to show how little humanity fought to stay alive and is now, consequently, completely gone. Now, she is no saint, that's for sure, but she also isn’t heartless and ruthless and her mind hasn’t wandered completely off the grid just yet. Neither has Rick, but he feels apprehensive, feeling he needs to do something before someone else makes him because he has been caught off guard and forced to do unimaginable things more times than he would have liked. So he decided he needed to be the one to force the other's hand for once, but still, it didn't feel morally acceptable, but… it had to be done, right?

 

The day came and went, and soon enough, night was upon them, casting them into a darkness. One that could haunt them forever or finally put an end to a looming darkness in the near future.

 

"You don’t like this plan, do you?"

 

Adrian looks over to see Carl who has climbed up the post to join her, his own rifle in his hand as he stands next to her, looking out into the dark, the moonlight only a sliver that night but providing enough light for her to feel comfortable.

 

"I think everyone knows I don’t." She huffs a laugh, her eyes glancing around in sharp focus, waiting for something or someone to come out and just ask to be shot.

 

Marcelo was out there, very much on-board and willing to kill many to get to _one_ man. He said they needed him to ensure they kill the right guy, but she knew she couldn't talk to him with reason when he was running on his ego, just like every other male in this community. She knew he had something to prove, trying to ease his pride after he had to kneel to him as she took charge of the situation. She knew he was prideful at times, feeling emasculated by her leadership and authority, but it never caused a rift in their friendship.

 

"It needs to be done. We will never be safe until these people are dead. "

 

She readjusts her sharp focus onto him now. She feels a strong twinge of pity towards the kid, realizing that he is a product of the new world. His thoughts, beliefs, and actions will never be driven by humanity, but rather the barbarity that is the new fucking world.

 

"People shouldn’t need to die for others to live. That’s not how the world is supposed to work. It's not how it works. It's only how people want it to work. People make it into a fucking battlefield because they're cowards. Fighting for survival instead of humanity," she scoffs, not caring that he's only a kid and she's being pretty harsh with her diction and tone, but he should hear it from someone. God knows Rick coddles him too much.

 

"One person can't just change the world because they want to. You have to adjust to the world order, right? Gotta do whatever you have to do to survive."

 

"History has a good way of showing you just how _great_ that turns out in the end," she retorts and she sees him smile from her peripheral vision.

 

"My dad and Michonne, and everyone else, actually, just talk to me like I'm a kid. Like I don’t have opinions and can't think for myself. You don’t do that."

 

There's a light undertone of gratitude at that last statement as she smirks, knowing damn well that they always dismiss his say in everything, like a kid interjecting an adult conversation. Rick doesn't know how annoying that is to see him do, especially when Carl is actually smart, just a little misguided by what he's seen.

 

"You are a kid. But nowadays, you gotta be treated like everyone else. Death has no exceptions, so neither should shit like this. Talking about topics like these are tough but you gotta learn early in the game," she didn’t articulate that exactly how she wanted to but he understood.

 

They stood there in silence for an extended amount of time, both basking in the comfortable quiet as they await his father's return. Adrian felt herself grow tired, her mind going a thousand miles an hour at what could possibly be happening with Rick and their people. Huh. That's the first time she addressed them as theirs and not his.

 

"Heads up," Carl straightens up beside her as they both watch as Rick leads the group he had accompany him drive up to the gates. Adrian signals to Father Gabriel to open them the entrance, her eyes staying on them as she notices from the windshields that they look shaken up.

 

"Something happened," she mutters to Carl as she starts her way down the post, Carl hot on her heels.

 

Turns out Maggie and Carol had been held hostage by some women from a group known as the Saviors, a ridiculous title in Adrian's opinion, but she's heard of stranger things.

 

Given the sudden adrenaline rush and worry that engulfed them during the hostage situation, Rick and Marcelo forgot all about making sure Negan was one of the men killed in the base. So, they were left in the dark once again.

 

After making sure both the women were fine, she turned to Rick and asked him for more details about the base, the people, the numbers, and the hostage situation.

 

"Rick, they were held in a completely separate base, one pretty far from the first one. They're spread out and have organized safe-house type of bases. They are obviously a large group and I'm pretty sure they're gonna retaliate."

 

Rick contemplated her words over, hating how much her reasoning made sense. He felt stupid for being so headstrong and stubborn and he felt vulnerable. He didn't know what would come out of this if this Negan guy was still alive and had more people out there. Had he really just fucked them over?

 

* * *

 

 

Adrian felt a small feeling of anxiety start to bubble up within her, her mind running faster than ever, almost as fast as her heart, as she wondered if Negan was still alive. It had been a few days since the massacre at the base and Adrian has been on edge ever since they returned, that endless pit in her stomach always churning but she never expressed it. It would do no good to worry others around, especially when so many looked at her for answers and for strength. She would never realize the impact her strong persona had on others, but everyone else could see it. Rick had taken notice of it instantly. 

 

Rick had returned from the seemingly short search for Carol, but Morgan had stayed behind and now he had another woman to worry about. Maggie. She was having what seemed to be pregnancy troubles and without Glenn around, Rick felt responsible for her well-being and her child's survival.

 

"I can go with you guys," Adrian instantly offers but Rick declines her proposal.

 

"You're more useful here. I need someone I trust running things while I'm gone."

 

Adrian felt a pang of… _something_ at Rick's words but she showed no emotion in response, simply nodding and complying with his request.

 

So she took charge while Rick took off to Hilltop with a suffering Maggie and a worried group to follow. She had a strange feeling of premonition, the bad kind. Like they weren't going to return and that's always a risk in this new world but she felt it differently this time. It felt far too strong and too real.

 

And _shit_ , how much she wished she had been just paranoid and wrong. But her gut feeling proved to be right again.

 

Rick had returned sans five people: Daryl, Maggie, Sasha, Glenn, and Abraham. She heard the story from Michonne, and then from Carl who was enraged, an emotional mask to veil his sadness. But she saw it and Carl knew it. She also saw that same sorrow in all that had returned, the kind that no poker face could ever conceal and she felt it deep in her bones. The gruesome details in which she heard the story be told in only made her anxiety diminish and in place was a pure, red, flaming hatred for Negan. If she had seen Maggie or Sasha after the incident, she could only imagine how far worse her rage would have taken her. Sure, she broke a few things in her house and went on a run on her own, but had she seen the _look_ on Maggie's face that the rest had seen… she probably would've gone looking for trouble instead of medicine like she was doing now.

 

Rick had informed every one of the new terms that they will be living under. Under Negan. God, just the thought and sound of his name made her skin crawl and she wanted to rip him to pieces. She voiced her urges to Rick who only looked frightened by her threat.

 

"This guy is ruthless and merciless. Please, anything he finds even remotely out of line, _that_ definitely included, he will find a way to punish us all."

 

This only fueled her more but she couldn't say anything else. She kept all her thoughts of murder and torture to herself and instead she picked an impassive expression to carry around her.

 

She had found some medicine left over at a small store just outside of the city, but fuck, if she really wanted to make an actual dent in the scarce supply they had, she would have to venture beyond just the outskirts of the city. She had half a mind to do just that, but she knew how risky it was and no matter how much she wanted to let her rage drive her, she knew it would be suicidal.

 

Defeated, she returned, all the while wondering if Rick had a map of the city and conjured a basic strategy to maneuver through the city with little trouble.

 

Back at Alexandria, she felt that anxiety that she had suppressed bubble up once again at the sight of unfamiliar trucks lingering at the entrance of the community. She suddenly remembered Negan's threat very vividly and she made a quick decision to get in undetected. She had seen Enid and Carl use these rods on one side of the community to sneak in and out. So, she skipped the main gates, hiding her bike behind one of the burnt homes outside and covering it as much as she could, and went for the high wall on the East side.

 

_Thanks, kid._

 

The rods were still in place on the other side and she saw no unfamiliar figures in her sights so she clambered down as quickly as she could manage. She noticed men, and a few women, raiding homes and she figured Negan had a very off definition of half. She was not at all surprised that the sleazy excuse of a man couldn't keep his word.

 

Adrian danced between homes, slouched and quiet, planning to make a beeline for her house when she noticed the man himself making his way right up her street, alongside a poorly restrained Rick. He looked pained, almost as if it hurt him to hold back from knocking the man's teeth in. They walked up the street which she was on, her only way out was to cross to the other side, and risk being spotted, or go back and hide behind one of the house. Both were risky because men were filing in and out of the houses, and if she lingered too long behind one, they would notice her and grow suspicious.

 

Adrian wondered briefly is she could casually make her way across without raising any attention towards herself, hell, maybe Negan didn't even give a fuck as long as she didn't cause any trouble. He probably wouldn't even notice her— he's too caught up with Rick.

 

She quickly realizes that she's still holding her motorcycle helmet in her right hand, a sleek matte black headset with a tinted black pro face shield. She contemplated walking past him and smacking him in the face with it, but decided against it.

 

_Not today._

 

Adrian resolved to casually make her way towards her house, feigning interest in her helmet, allowing her long black hair to cover her face. Just a bit because then it would just be plain obvious and she'd look suspicious.

 

One, two, three, four, five, six. Six steps. She made it six steps before he noticed her. He didn't acknowledge her, however. He watched. Watched her figure sway towards one of the houses, watched as she maneuvered further and further away from him, and something in him stirred. He felt as if he had seen that stride before, but he hadn't. He was confused and lost for a moment, forcing his mind to remember and place her from somewhere, but he couldn't. Not without looking at her face.

 

Adrian felt relief when she made it to her house without interruption. But that relief was short-lived as she noticed unfamiliar bodies make their way around her house, touching and taking her stuff so comfortably, as if they know her and live there.

 

She wrenches her jaw, decides that there's nothing she can do, not without gaining an audience from the infamous Dickhead that is still making his way up the street across from her. So she makes a direct path up to her room, retrieves what is most precious to her, swearing up and down that she would rip and tear at anyone who touched it. But no one had, thankfully. Everyone choosing to overlook the small detail in her room and she almost wants to thank the people in the room for doing so.

 

Quickly, she looks around her empty room, footsteps sounding all around, but skipping her now nearly bare bedroom. She perches open the window and hops onto the soft grass underneath that decorates the space between her house and the one next to hers.

 

That distinct laughter and rough tone has her cursing under her breath, eyes wandering all around, trying to find an easy way out or around. She drowns out his words and voice because if she doesn't she'll probably walk right up to him and show him her version of _goddamn hospitality._

 

But, again, she decides now is not the right time so she moves it along towards the back of the houses, this time to the one next door. His voice is loud and reverberates through her ears clearly, no matter how far she is from him.

 

"I just want to formally introduce myself, Rick. God knows what fucking shit you've been telling your little fucking people about me, so, _come on,_ tell the little bird to come out. I saw her walk towards this house, Rick. Fucking find her for me, will ya."

 

 _He better not fucking mean me. Fucki_ —

 

"I don’t know who you're talking about, how am I supposed to help you?" Rick bites back and Adrian close her eyes briefly because if she caught onto that undertone, Negan sure as shit did.

 

As she suspected, Negan starts to reprimand him for the tone he's using with him blah, blah, _blah._ Adrian doesn't stick around to hear the condescending and humiliating lecture she knows Rick is about to receive, but instead makes her way around the other side of the house. She takes her small window of opportunity to escape and makes her way down the same street and crosses to the other side, eyes set on the infirmary.

 

The cell is connected to its basement, and she figures medicine is the first thing they'd raid so they must be done and gone by now. Hopefully she's right because that cell is the only effective shelter she can think of.

 

The door is just in her sights, her hand clutches onto the knob and she turns it so quickly, throwing her body in with the same speed that she almost gets whiplash. Her body relaxes as she's met with an empty room, her mind only focused on the secret latch in the basement that leads to the cell built by Morgan before he left. Damn, she actually misses him.

 

Adrian is pissed at the fact that she's actually running and hiding like a scared little girl who thinks there's monsters in her closet or some shit. But all she can think of is his maniacal smile and laughter. She's pissed that she actually feels the slightest twinge of fear in her, but she'll be damned if she lets anyone figure that out— especially him.

 

She sits there for what feels like a long period of time, but in reality it has only been an hour. Apprehension and anger seem to make it drag out longer than it really is, but she can't settle her mind. She debates for a long time whether she should step out or if she should wait a while longer. But, _fuck it,_ seems to be her motto of the night so she steps up to the latch and steps into the basement. It's empty and quiet and so seems to be the infirmary by the lack of noise she hears as she presses her ear up against the door.

 

Opening up, she steps into the lighted room, the sun just starting to set into the night. The windows show no more intruding figures entering and exiting her people's home. Instead, the streets are vacant and tranquil. An eerie silence engulfs the town and she wanders, noticing the absence of leering trucks at the entrance and the crescendo of silence makes the hair at the back of her neck stand to point.

 

"Adrian,"

 

She turns to meet the voice, a young man whom she has spoken very little to, is standing behind her. He looks at her oddly as if she is out of place. As if she doesn't belong.

 

"There's a meeting at the church, didn't you hear?"

 

Adrian nods and turns in the direction to the church, wondering but not asking why he himself isn't at the meeting. It nags at her as she makes her way closer and closer to the church, but she still keeps going. She wants to ask, she feels the apprehension growing from not knowing, but she still just keeps walking.

 

At the door, she opens it slowly, stepping in to see people getting up from the benches, some already conjugating into groups, whispering among themselves as they make their way out the exits. Some glance her way, confused by her sudden appearance, others just breeze by her.

 

"Adrian, we need to talk," Rick says beside her as she finally makes her way through the throngs of people to find Rick at the pulpit.

 

"What'd I miss?" She asks, feeling the eyes of the rest of the _council_ on her as they settle into a circle next to her. They stand like a goddamn cult about to hold hands and pray and spit out some voodoo chants. Fuck.

 

"Negan was looking for you. He caught a glimpse of you earlier and he kept asking to see you, but we couldn't find you. Where were you?"

 

"I left. What did he want?" She answers him, not going into detail of her little anxiety rush that had her run away like a damn fool. But, then again, she would've been a fool to let him notice her and kill her. Or worse, one of her people.

 

"I don't know. You said you had a run in with him before coming here, maybe he recognized you. He surprisingly didn’t say anything though, just that he wanted to meet you."

 

Rick sighs and everyone just stands around listening, not really serving any purpose to the conversation. Rick has no clue what happened between her and Negan and why he's so adamant on meeting her. But he does know that Negan tends to punish others, innocent people, for the mistakes of one person. He can't let that happen again.

 

"I don’t know what will happen when he finally finds me here. I had a bad run-in with him and he's clearly not one to forgive and forget. He might torture me or kill me or both or do it to someone else here to hurt me. Either way, I think it's best if he doesn't find me here,"

 

"You're not leaving," Michonne interjects, eyeing her and Rick from beside him. She was like the holy voice of reason here, most of the time anyways.

 

"I can't have him find me here. I can't _hide,_ either. If he finds out you guys are helping me, he'll do a lot worse than steal our mattresses."

 

"Maybe you just leave when he visits. Go on a run or head over to Hilltop with Maggie."

 

"I don’t want to cause them any trouble. And what if he makes a surprise visit or comes earlier? Then what? We're fucked, that’s what."

 

Adrian hates being the pessimist and shooting down every option being thrown into the mix, but she knows they can't afford to be caught sitting on their hands. They have to prepare for every possible outcome.

 

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Father Gabriel asks, voice soft but clear.

 

"I leave."

 

"We already crossed that option out." Michonne bites back, her eyes sympathetic but voice stern as she gives Adrian her mom look. Her mama-bear look as she calls it.

 

"I say for now, we go with Rosita's suggestion. You leave when you know he's coming and if he surprises us, then we'll deal with it _if_ that happens."

 

"This is ridiculous," she mutters, running a hand over her tired face. Her eyes burn from her recent lack of sleep and her constant worrying does not help her fight the exhaustion.

 

"It's settled then."

 

* * *

 

 

Whenever the moment presents itself, one in which she can gloat with right, Adrian takes full advantage. She loves to prove everyone wrong and to be the smartest one, even if no else acknowledges it. As long as she knows— like it's her little secret.

 

Except right now. Right now she wishes she was wrong, because right after she warned them of the dangers, her warning fucking came true. Thank the fucking lucky stars, right? No, _fuck that, man._ She was well and thoroughly fucked.

 

Negan had come rumbling in with Carl in tow— God knows what the fuck that's about — and made a beeline for Rick's goddamn house, which she was residing in as she was helping Olivia with a restless Judith. And so she really had no warning of any kind as the man came in loud and obnoxious as fuck.

 

She cursed a million words as she looked out the window of Judith's room to see men loitering around at the entrance. Apparently Negan decided to only bring a few, but still more than she was comfortable with.

 

Fast forward, now she was met with not a lot of viable options to get out of the fucking mess she was in. Downstairs she heard the man talking but she didn't pay mind to what he was saying. She was far more occupied with looking for a place to fucking hide.

 

There was Rick's room and Carl's but that wouldn't be any better than just staying in Judith's room. The kitchen and front door were no good either.

 

The back door.

 

Shit, if she planned it just right she could actually make it out the back and find her way from there.

 

Footsteps. Loud and heavy made their way up to her floor. She knew she had some time because Carl would try to keep Negan away from Judith for as long as he could.

 

"Rick the Prick's room, huh. A little fucking bare and depressing as shit, but I guess that's partly my fault."

 

His voice is muffled by the walls but his faux apologetic tone followed by laughter is heard loud and clear. She wanted to deck him so hard, but, _again,_ now was not the best of times.

 

She figured he was making Carl show him around so she heard as another door opened and she peeked an eye to be met with an empty hallway.

 

Looking back at Judith calmly sitting with her plush toy to entertain herself, she grabbed her before she stepped out of her room. She made a run downstairs as quickly as she could without making any noise. She was light on her feet as she opened the back door and felt a fleeting sense of relief from being outside.

 

Adrian made her way towards Tara's house, not being able to go to hers because she remembered Negan had seen her head there. Marcelo and America lived with her so they weren't an option either. So Tara's house it was.

 

Negan stepped into an empty child's room and turned halfway to quirk an eyebrow at Carl who tried his hardest to hide his relief and small anxiety. He knew he would question the empty nursery but he was glad she was at least able to find a way out.

 

"This your room?" Negan teased, smirking a teasing quip at the boy who only glared back. It was clearly a little girl's room and it made the joke all that funnier to him.

 

Not formulating a response, Carl stood at the entrance as Negan looked around the room. Taking in the bare walls with drawings of splattered colors and disfigured stick-men with mismatching body parts, he figured she was still pretty young. 

 

"Seeing as that this baby room is minus one fucking baby, why don't you tell where the princess is,"

 

"I don't know," he really didn't but Negan didn't know that. Nor did he believe it.

 

"You don’t know where your own goddamn baby sister is? Fuck, kid, come on I'm not gonna do shit to her. Now, take me to her," Negan ordered with such finality that Carl was forced to lead him out of the house.

 

He hoped he wouldn't find Adrian and Judith and that Negan would get bored after a while of searching. Adrian hoped the same as she watched from Tara's house as men and women wandered the streets of Alexandria, looking and peeping as if they belonged there. She couldn’t dwell on her frustrations for very long as Carl and Negan made their way up the houses on the block, her body tensing as he caught her eye. Carl sent her a look and she quickly removed herself from the window, making her way downstairs so Tara.

 

"I need you to take Judith. I gotta go," Adrian told Tara, holding out the child to her, eyes wandering to the windows by the front door.

 

"Why? What's going on?" Tara had no clue of her predicament with Negan and although she didn’t want the whole town to know of her problems, she had to tell Tara.

 

"Negan can't know I'm here— scratch that. Negan can't know I even know you people. He's coming here, I gotta go, and I can't be hauling her everywhere, so please."

 

Tara stood confused, so many questions buzzing through her head but she simply nodded at her. Adrian sent her a brief 'thank you' before bolting for her back door, knowing Carl and Negan would probably be in sight of the front door.

 

Pulling on the silver knob, Adrian stepped to walk out but her exit was blocked by a slim torso clad in a white shirt and black leather, lean legs and a smirk that did little to hide the anger behind a pair of brown orbs.

 

"Well he-fucking-llo, _tuts._ "

 

_Fuck, I should've hidden in the closet._

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Play Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has had a monopoly on all my time so I apologize for this long over-due chapter. I'm lame, I know. I'm hoping to have a lot more free time in the upcoming months so hopefully chapters will be posted more often. Don't hold me to that, though.

Adrian tends to channel all her emotions through a single one— anger. It helps her focus on just one emotion and keeps her level-headed, that’s why in her past life people tended to describe her as grumpy or bitchy. When she was scared, she was mad, when she was sad, she was mad, when she was tired, she was mad. She lived vicariously through just one emotion and the downfall of the human race hadn't changed that.

 

An intense stare down resulted in an unwanted presence pushing its way into Tara's house with a nervous kid in tow who shot a sympathetic look towards Adrian. They can all feel the fat tension in the room that Adrian feels is suffocating her to death. She has half a mind to make a run for it, probably being able to get at least a few houses down before she was shot down or cornered or whatever.

 

They all watched as Negan cooed at a dazed Judith who was the only calm person in the room, the only one not sweating and asking God to strike her down right this instant.

 

"Oh-ho, my. Look at this little angel," he coos as he goes to pick her up, bouncing her slightly on his chest, turning to Adrian as she still stood by the back door, not having moved, only turned to follow his movements.

 

"How about we take this fucking party back to Rick the Prick's house. There's a fresh batch of homemade lemonade waiting for us and _shit,_ we have so much to talk about, "

 

It's not a request, it's an order, even with the lack of his usual rough tone. So, really they can't do much but follow as he walks past Adrian, out the back door and back towards Rick's house. Adrian walks a few steps behind the man, Judith staring at her over his shoulder as she bounces from his long strides.

 

Opening the front door unnecessarily hard, Negan waltz into the house, looking over to smirk at a scowling Carl and an impassive Adrian who simply closes the door in a less harsh manner.  

 

"Olivia! Where's that fucking lemonade? I hope you made it extra sweet," Negan booms, smiling at the nerve-wrecked woman who is currently stirring a wooden spoon around a pitcher full of the clear green liquid.

 

"Just finished it," she mutters, quickly taking an extended Judith and walking out of the room, away from the sociopath  looming over her shoulder. He only smirks after her retreating figure and Adrian swears that's a permanent expression on his face. And it's annoying as fuck.

 

* * *

 

 

Adrian wishes she could choke on the spaghetti she is forcing down her throat. Death by spaghetti sounds far better than whatever this man has in store for her, who by the way, has not uttered a single word to her since he found her. He just stares a stare that makes her feel like he knows something that she doesn’t and it _irks_ her to no end.

 

He also talks. A lot. Not really making conversation with anyone but just saying stupid shit to hear his own voice. His gruff, tantalizing voice that she tries to block out but she's sitting right next to him and he's so _damn_ loud. So she tries to daydream instead, but that proves futile because she only ends up thinking about _him_ and then her little bubble is burst when he lets out an extremely boisterous laugh.

 

_"I hope you realize what this means— you going out with me, I mean."_

 

_"You make it sound like it's a date…_ **_oh my god_ ** _, you think this is a date?" Adrian really should've seen it coming and she feigns shock and annoyance but she's excited. Fuck, is she anything but._

 

 _"Yes, because it is. And by the end of the night, you're gonna be asking to go on another date. You're gonna be the one asking me out, actually. I can see it now_ — _'oh, Luke Morgan, how big and strong you are! Ah, please take me on my couch_ —"

 

_Before he can moan out more absurdities in his faux voice, attempting to sound like her, Adrian smacks him across his chest. Only lightly though because God forbid anyone catches them flirting around the floor._

 

_"Shut it or this date is over before it even starts," she warns but there's a smile that threatens to creep up on her and he can see it in her eyes as he continues to laugh._

 

_"Even if this date never happens, it's still gonna be the best one you've ever been on,"_

 

_"_ **_God_ ** _, tone it down with the arrogance, your head might explode," she groans, walking with him towards the elevators, pressing the 'down' button. He watches her as she does so, her profile from his angle looking almost like art form. He tells her this and she blushes a light pink, the compliment and his stare threatening to melt her to the fucking ground._

 

_"Yeah, this date is gonna be great," he whispers, looking up as the elevator doors open, not giving her a chance to say anything back, just merely following him inside._

 

" _Tuts._ I know it's fucking tempting to daydream about me but I asked you a fucking question."

 

Adrian snaps out of her reverie and tries to remember what he had asked, as if her subconscious mind caught on to it while she escaped for a minute. But it hadn't, so she simply just blankly stared at him, causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance.

 

"What's your name? I've been wondering, trying to put a fucking apt name to the face of the psychopath— _yes,_ psycho because you fucking blew my man's Dave's hand right fucking off and didn’t even flinch. So," he pauses to take a sip of his lemonade, "what's your name?"

 

"Adrian," she mutters, shaking off the psychopath comment because she _had_ felt something for shooting the poor guy's hand off. Yeah he was in Negan's crowd, but what if he was a good guy? What if he was forced against his will to follow him? She couldn’t help but think of him as another human being, even though she tried to think of him as anything but to ease her guilt.

 

"Adrian? You sure it's not fucking _Adriana_?"

 

Negan really thought that one was a clever one, not being able to help the smirk that grew on his face as he laughed. Maybe he praised himself too much, maybe he saw himself in a light that only he did— hell, he was fucking sure of it, but he couldn’t give a fuck even if he tried.

 

"Pretty fucking sure," Adrian bites back, moving to stand to put away her dirty dishes but a big calloused hand stops her.

 

"I didn’t say you could get up," he mutters, that angry flare behind his eyes flashing briefly before disappearing, a smile replacing it instead, "now, how 'bout some post-dinner booze?"

 

He jolts from the table with annoying grace, turning on his way back into the kitchen to send Carl a playful grin, his tone dripping in mock.

 

"Sorry kid, but you're gonna have to run right the fuck along. This is gonna be some heavy adult stuff, _yes siree_."

 

That last sentence is voiced towards Adrian and she can tell he's referring to something other than the booze. He's probably gonna smack her around some, or cut off a finger or two and feed it to the walkers. Or hell, he might even cook it and force someone to fucking eat it. She was probably thinking way too drastically but she couldn’t help it. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best, right?

 

"Let's step outside, shall we?" He doesn’t let her answer or even let out a breath before he's gripping her right arm, likely to leave bruises, and dragging her out the front porch.

 

_Public execution, huh? She always wanted to go out dramatic and old-school._

 

"Let's have a little chat,"

 

He roughly drops her onto one of the chairs on the front porch, him taking the one adjacent to her. He makes himself comfortable, probably prolonging the silence in order to make her squirm, so she decides then that she won't react in any way she thinks he might enjoy. She can label him pretty well, expect and assume what kind of man he is, but that's all it is: a whole lot of assumptions and it might land her in trouble.

 

"I'm not much for faith and believing in an almighty, omniscient God and all that shit, but _, fuck me_ , there is a God. That's the only fucking explanation I can think of to explain how lucky I am to have found you here. I mean, shit, I thought I would never see you again, figuring you ran off with your pathetic little followers to hide, but goddamn, here the fuck you are,"

 

Adrian is truly starting to believe that the permanent state of his face is set to be in a shit-eating grin that seems to mock everyone he directs it at. It is, to no end, annoying as shit and she wishes she could just—

 

"I was really pissed at the shit you pulled with Dave, hell, you were all I could fucking think about all the way home and not just because you have those pretty green eyes. No, fuck that, I wanted to bash your head in twenty times over because that shit you pulled was not _motherfucking cool_ ,"

 

His tone shifts into a menacing whisper at the end and Adrian finds herself having difficulty holding his gaze, trying to gauge what he's gonna do next. His gaze feels like it's melting her from the inside, slowly increasing her heartbeat so that it vibrates in her ears and her eyes water from the strain of all the glaring she's doing.

 

"But, good thing I've had some time to fucking mull it over and get a level head. Cause acting on anger is just plain stupid. So," his mood shifts again and it's like whiplash to her, "I've decided not end you just yet. I'm gonna draw it out, y'know, for fun and all that shit."

 

She hasn’t spoken a word throughout his whole monologue and it seems she won't get to, even if she wanted to, as Spencer walks up to the porch. She watches their interaction, trying to gauge Spencer's angle and trying to figure out what is so important that he's risking his life playing Negan. Because it's pretty obvious that's what is happening. She knows it and Negan knows it. Nobody is nice to him just to be fucking nice.

 

When she finds the conversation turn a sharp turn during their pool game, which she has been watching idly as Negan didn’t let her leave, she closes her eyes at Spencer's stupidity. There's a crowd around them and Adrian catches Rosita's eyes, giving her a knowing look and she returns it, obviously showing the same concern as Adrian. But no one dares intercede, everyone just watches. Watch as Spencer tries to outsmart Negan. Watch as Negan guts him like a fucking fish and watch as his goddamn bat saves his life. _Fuck her_ , there is a God and he apparently loves Negan.

 

Adrian can't bring herself to move or react because she's already in so much shit that she can't risk rushing over to Carl as Olivia drops beside him, or run over to Eugene as he trembles and cries. She definitely can't go check on Aaron as he comes limping with Rick holding him up, sweaty and bloodied.

 

Negan is full of rage, even as he speaks to Rick and his voice sounds convincingly calm. Adrian knows better and Rick does too and he feels the same dread she feels as he notices she's not hiding. He knows what it means and he feels guilty for making her stay here, where she's in danger.

 

"I'll be relieving you on your bullet maker, Rick,"

 

Negan burns her to the ground with his glare, his undivided attention on her as he contemplates what to do with her in the short walk over to her. He doesn’t want to take her back to the Sanctuary, but he doesn’t want her to stay here either. And he doesn’t want to kill her, at least not yet. He was out of his usual options, all of them seeming wrong and not apt for her punishment.

 

"What do you do around here? What's your fucking specialty?" He asks, trying to gauge her value, if her absence would be of significance to the community or if she could be of use to him before he killed her.

 

"I specialize in everything. You name it." She responds back evenly, her mind working ahead of her and reminding her that he wasn’t asking because he wanted to play 21 questions to get to know her better.

 

"You a doctor?"

 

"Was."

 

It wasn’t _technically_ a lie. Her parents had both been cardio and neurosurgeons, teaching her everything they knew in hopes of her following in their footsteps and pummeling through med school as they had. She tried, really, she did, but she ended up dropping out and joining the FBI as a behavior analyst with her multiple degrees in neuroscience and psychology, but not before acing her required time in the academy. She's a genius at micro-analyzing people and shooting bullets but complete shit at math. Not that that even matters anymore.

 

She definitely exaggerated her knowledge of human anatomy to even dare say she "was" a doctor. She could name off all two-hundred and six bones in the body but she definitely couldn’t save a dying man. Fuck.

 

Negan looks at her incredulously, not believing anything she was claiming to be. She was too tough, too bad-bitch to be a doctor— a profession which required goddamn bedside manners which she didn’t seem to possess. Although he believed maybe she had at one point, but like everyone else, the new world had stripped her of who she was.

 

"Mechanic? Engineer?"

 

"I know my way around a car. Engineer, not so much."

 

"What else? You a secret agent, too? Mrs. James Bond?"

 

"Close. Supervisory Special Agent."

 

Negan really thought she was yanking his chains so he grabbed her jaw forcefully, tilting her head upward enough to strain her neck painfully. Adrian really wanted to deck the guy, hating everything he represented. He was just like men from the past life that assorted dominance over others with violence and were too caught up with their egos and pride to realize they were being assholes. Or maybe they simply didn’t care.

 

That’s what Negan was to her. A reminder of those men who would end up with harassment reports or restraining orders or arrests. But in this new world, there were no consequences, no reprimand and no chance at justice. It was a dog eat dog world, the goddamn apocalypse brought back the caveman times. So Negan was free to do as he pleased. His only concern were the walkers outside his fences and that was it. _God,_ she wanted to deck him.

 

"Listen close, _princess_ ," the pet name was condescending and it made her cheek twitch.

 

"I don’t like being yanked by my balls unless it's in the fucking bedroom. Actually, I don’t like that shit even then so you can imagine how fucking much I loathe that shit out here, especially in front of my men and my goddamn lap dogs. Because that’s what this little merry-go-round community is _._ A bunch of obedient little elves that do as I say. Now, you might hate it, but trust me it's better than the shit I plan to do to you if you try _to disrespect me again_. Oh, no, you're gonna want to be fucking six feet under and I know your sweet little ass doesn’t want that."

 

Adrian felt a small swell of arrogance and pride that she had one over on him, because he truly didn’t know her. She does want to die. Not in a suicidal way in which she wants to pop a bunch of pills and end her miserable life. But in a sense that she isn't opposed to dying. If it comes down to her and another, she will give herself up, no questions asked. She valued her life at one point but after _his_ death—

 

"Come on,"

 

Adrian didn’t realize how much he was hurting her jaw until he let go and her gums and jawbone started to ache dully.

 

Everyone watched as he gripped her by the neck and pulled her alongside him, his long fingers cold against her neck which had warmed under the rays of the sun that shines dimly behind slight clouds. Any other time she would take time to enjoy the weather but she was slightly preoccupied with the menacing hand that is gripping her and leading her back into Rick's house.

 

They reach the front door and it slams behind them, his hand leaving her neck only for both of them to come back up to shove her against the wall. Their bodies were hidden and shielded from the windows and prying eyes. She glared up at him from under her eyelashes and he pressed a hand onto her throat, forcing her head to lean back against the wall, but he didn’t press hard enough to block her airway.

 

"No one has ever made me want to rip their fucking throat out as much as you fucking do— "

 

"I'm flattered," she interrupted, instantly regretting it when he pushed her head harder against the wall behind her.

 

"Don’t interrupt me," his eyes were void of all amusement she had been seeing the whole day, shutting her right up but she stayed eyeing him with contempt.

 

"You're staying here. For now. Fuck knows you're gonna drive me to commit multiple accounts of murder just from fucking looking at you. I'll come next week, to collect, and I want you there front and center waiting for me with a gift. It better be a damn good motherfucking gift because if it isn’t, you're gonna fucking replace that fucker Daryl and I'm not gonna give you the same easy treatment I'm giving him. Shit, I might just kill him anyways and take you."

 

Adrian only knew anger, the always there, constant emotion that she was always used to feeling. But in that moment, looking at the man in front of her, taking in his hardened eyes, thin-pressed lips and furrowed brows, she felt nothing but pure, burning hatred that wanted to rip her from the inside out. The feeling was new to her and she swore to kill the man, but not quite yet.

 

 

 

 


	4. Unconscious Minds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, with all the time I now have on my hands before my next semester of college begins, I will update this story religiously. Enjoy this long overdue chapter.

The city was the land of the dead. No one dared to travel anywhere near it given the fact that, oh that's right, it's crammed with dead, rotting bodies of the literal dead. So, the moment that Adrian so casually informed Rick of her little trip, he flipped, but not after staring at her incredulously for five minutes.

 

"That's the worst idea you have ever had. No. No way."

 

Adrian sighed, knowing very well when she decided to tell him that he wasn’t going to be on board with her little expenditure. Rick would never let anyone risk their lives like that, knowing that the probability of successfully getting in and out of the city was slim to none. Adrian, however, arrogantly believed that she could make the trip and get back on her own, successfully. Maybe not without a scratch, but definitely with all her limbs intact and unbitten of course.

 

"Negan is expecting something big or else he's gonna have someone's head on a spike. Or on Lucille. Besides, we're running low on everything and we've ransacked nearly everything in our vicinity. We need this Rick."

 

Of course he countered her argument, and she argued back, and so on. It went on for a while before Adrian ultimately won, but only because Rick knew she'd go anyways.

 

So here she was, hiding her bike at the very outskirt of the city near a shed that looked as rotten as it could get. Her legs carried her across the train tracks that lead to a fence with a hole into the city that awaited on the other side. Her pack was light so that she could fit as much as she could in one trip, because chances were, she won't be getting in and out so easily. Maneuvering the city was going to be a mission on its own, let alone with walkers and limited manpower. But she knew she could move much easier and faster and swifter if she was alone and without distractions. And with less cargo.

 

Maybe they might need that trip back. Or multiple trips.

 

The cement felt different under her feet, not because it was any different from the streets in Alexandria, but probably because she hadn't walked through a city in years. She felt an odd feeling of nostalgia and melancholy at the thought, two feelings that have been of rare occurrence to her. She was flooded with memories of crowded, bustling cities full of obnoxiously loud men and women. Children running down the streets with their hollering parents on their tails while they carry bags from various shops and restaurants. It was a sight to behold, one not appreciated at the time, but now something everyone would kill to witness again.

 

Adrian scolded herself for letting her mind wander and forced her mind to refocus. She had now been able to swiftly make her way through an alleyway, her eyes now scanning the crowded streets from behind a rotting garbage container. The view blocked by various items but she couldn’t risk to be spotted by even one walker.

 

She decided an aerial view would provide her with the best game plan, a thought that reminded her of a tale Glenn told her once, of when he had saved Rick all that time ago. At the thought of Glenn, Adrian couldn’t help but feel her heart clench and her mind ironically reminded her that this trip was for the jackass that had killed him.

 

Making her way up the fire escape ladder at the side of the building, she trekked slowly in hopes to make as little noise as possible, but she was burning daylight so she sped up. The old, rusted metal rattled and creaked, gaining unwanted attention from a few stragglers but not enough to become worrisome.

 

Reaching the top, she hopped onto the roof and surveyed it, pleased to find it void of both the living and the dead. The building was high enough that she could see past the roofs of those buildings parallel and perpendicular to hers. However, she had very little clue as to what those buildings held, and even if she knew, they might be empty or useless. She was playing a guessing game but there was no other option.

 

She sat and went over her list of priorities again and tried to pinpoint where she could find each item on her dainty map. Eugene was able to lend her one he had found on his scouting trips with Rosita while they looked for a workshop for his side-job of bullet making. The thought of Eugene made her heart clench again and damn it was annoying. She couldn’t think of anyone without being hit with a flood of unwelcome emotions. And all of it was due to one man.

 

Deciding that she had to move quickly so that she could be home-bound before sundown, she hopped up and tried the metal door on the roof that would lead further down into the building. With luck clearly not on her side, the handle rattled but did not budge. She glanced over the ledge of the building to see her entrance and exit through the fire escape was currently not an option as a couple too many undead bodies were roaming around it.

 

Glancing around she realized making the short jump across to the adjacent building was the other option left for her. With no time at all to really consider the possible consequences of the stunt, she walked over to the opposite side. Halfway through, she began to pick up speed and momentum, using that to push off the parapet to land safely on the hard cement of the other building. Her legs bent under her as she landed but her force and momentum sent her stumbling a few feet before rolling to a stop.

 

She laid there for one, two, three moments before moving to get up, only, as she did, the floor underneath her wobbled the slightest bit. Before she could even register the unstable standing, she felt her body flying, only not upward, but downward. She tried to take control of her flailing arms and legs, but all she could do was fall and fall until there was no more falling. There was only a sharp pain to her left shoulder that shot straight down through her body like a lightning bolt leaving a path of fire. She can only assume she's about to pass out from the pain, but then there's a pulsing ache on her head that she barely registers before she is met with an unwelcomed darkness.

 

* * *

 

 

Rick felt a fleeting sense of pride and hope. Only it shriveled quickly after he remembered that even with the Hilltop's help, they still needed more man power and ammunition. And then The Kingdom proved to be of no help, and his hope shriveled even more. It was times like this that he found a courage and fierce determination to power through despite the odds, and he was right to do so. The Trash People -- formally known as The Scavengers -- turned out to be potential allies and that was another win for Rick and his people. For his family. Although it was at the slight expense of his availability to use his hand for a while.

 

Upon his return to Alexandria, Rick finds himself, along with a few others, animatedly conjuring up battle plans, now with the inclusion of their newly acquired allies. He feels a slight boost in his mood as he realizes that they might have a chance at being free after all. After all that they have had to sacrifice and lose to the Saviors. He feels himself begin to truly be fueled by vengeance and, if he's being honest, his own ego. He knows he would never admit it aloud, but there's a trickle of pride that flows through him that urges him to redeem himself to his people. He knows that pride and a pissing-contest are not rightful motivations for any situation, especially one as dangerous as this one. Which reminds him…

 

"Where's Adrian? Does anyone know if she's returned yet?"

 

The small circle that has gathered at the table in Rick and Michonne's home pause their discussions and planning as they turn to address Rick. Their faces show evidence of realization as they notice their usual vocal and very-much-involved-in-these-discussions member missing from the small group.

 

"I'm not sure. Maybe she's at home?" Father Gabriel suggest, but Rick shakes his head as dread fills his stomach to the bring.

 

"She would have come to me or Michonne after we arrived. Asked about the Hilltop meeting and what she found on her trip," Rick mumbles, "she should be back by now. The sun has gone all the way down."

 

The group follows Rick as he rises from his seat at the windowsill of the kitchen window and makes a beeline to her house. He knows it's futile. If she were back, she would have let him or someone else know. Marcelo and America both confirm that she has not returned since she left earlier that morning.

 

"She's still out there, after dark, which means she's either hurt, or… worse. She's too smart to risk staying out there in the city. That place is no-man's land for God's sake."

 

Marcelo paces around their living room as Rick, Michonne, Father Gabriel, and Aaron stand behind their couch. They all know what it means but they can't believe that she's dead. They don't want to believe it.

 

"We need to go find her," America says, no room for argument in her tone as she rises from her spot on the couch.

 

"No way. It's too dangerous out there in the dark, let alone in the goddam city. We can't risk any more people based on rushed decisions and fear. Tomorrow, me and Michonne will go out looking for the guns we need for a few days; if she doesn’t come back by tomorrow…"

 

"We're not leaving her out there without looking for her, Rick," Michonne says as she realizes where Rick was going as he trailed off.

 

"I wasn't saying that we shouldn't look for her. I just think we need to plan more carefully instead of just blasting through the city without even so much as a map."

 

The group continued to argue, mostly America insisting that she join the group that would search for her, only for her to be shot down by Rick. In response, she turned so red in anger that it was clearly noticeable through her dark tanned skin. Marcelo, however, was invited without hesitation to join them in the search party, since he knew her best and would probably be able to think more like her. This obviously was argued by an offended America.

 

The night went on with planning and discussing, leading them to a restless sleep while somewhere far away, Adrian finally broke through her haze and was met with a sharp blazing pain in her left shoulder. Turning her neck to look at the damage, her head throbbed and threatened to implode at the slightest movement and her neck screamed in pain at the use of it. However, it paled in comparison when she noticed that her left shoulder was completely shredded as a small cylinder-like pole was stabbing through it, just under her collarbone.

 

Breathe, dumbass. You're not breathing, fuck. Stop freaking out. 

 

Panic and bile rose in her stomach as she kept staring at her shoulder that was oozing blood and had soaked her shirt and back and whatever the fuck she was laying on. Crates. She was laying on large, wooden crates that were high enough above and out of reach of the walkers that were currently waiting for her to roll over and drop to provide them with their first meal in who knows how long.

 

With a renowned sense of the life and death threat right in her face, Adrian braced herself to pull her shoulder up and release herself of the pole she was currently impaled on. Fuck. She gathered her bearings and managed to grab the off-white rag that was hanging off the corner of the crate adjacent to hers to use to stop the bleeding that was surely about to spew out in gushes.

 

Her breathing got heavier and she braced herself as she lifted her body slowly, her jaw falling open involuntarily in pain, so much so that she barely managed to quiet the half-wail half-groan that spewed out of her mouth. Her eyes teared up as she felt the familiar gush of thick substance running out of both wounds on her shoulder. She quickly pressed the rag that would surely gift her with an infection to her large open wound, trying her damnedest to ignore the pain. She reached over to touch the back of her head after tying off the rag as tightly as she could and felt, again, that same crimson colored substance sleek over her fingers. She felt the pain at touching the offending gash and found herself swaying in her spot, barely stopping herself before she fell over into the awaiting graying hands that craved to grab onto her flesh.

 

She saw that there were about a dozen that probably came from the open warehouse gate that led into another giant gray-metal room full of factory-like equipment. On a good day, she would be able to take them all out strategically. Hell, even on a bad day she could do it. But today, fuck, today was a shitty ass motherfucking day and she couldn’t even find herself sitting straight up and the graying figures below her turned into doubles if she looked down for too long.

 

Agonizingly slow, she maneuvered herself to lay on her stomach and with her good arm, she reached low to stab some of them in the head, slowly dropping them one by one to the ground. Her left shoulder ached as she used it to hold herself on the crate and keep her from falling over and into the hungry awaiting arms. She got most of them, with the exception of three, and decided that she could take those on once on her feet, in order to relieve her shoulder. Which was now bleeding profusely, again.

 

She rolled over and took multiple death breaths to somehow alleviate the blistering pain in her shoulder. As she did so, she felt tears sting her eyes, trying to keep them at bay with no avail. Soon enough, she found herself sobbing soundlessly in pain, anger, and hopelessness. Her shoulder ached as her body tensed with each sob and she became angered with her situation. And not just the current shithole she found herself in currently, but everything before that. The apocalypse, her people, Negan, the losses she's had. That's what she was really crying about in the middle of that dusty, worn-down warehouse. She opened up that box that she had sealed shut when the apocalypse first began; when she found herself crying so often that once she didn’t hear the walker approach her campsite and ended up biting one of her group's member. That's the last time she let herself feel anything that resembled grief or sorrow. She couldn’t afford another life on her hands like that simply because she was too busy feeling useless emotions. In this world, they will only drag you down and you'll open yourself up for walkers to take easily.

 

But now, in that vast gray room full of dead walkers, cobwebs, and crates filled with useless garbage, she let herself open that forbidden box and she felt. She felt the loss of that first camp member that died because of her stupidity, because she couldn’t realize sooner that the new world had no room for human emotions. She felt the pain and anguish that came with witnessing her parents die on FaceTime, at the hands of a lone walker as she tried to figure out how to get to them. It had been at the very start of the outbreak when people were panicking and fleeing the cities with no real destinations in mind. Nowhere was safe anyways. And she felt the residual pain of losing Glenn and Abraham, the most recent wound, that also brought along anger. Anger towards him, which, for some odd reason, brought her to her last painful memory that was laying in that box.

 

Luke Morgan.

 

Except she knew how much it took her to stuff that man's painful memory into the deepest recess of her mind the first time, so she stopped herself from letting that one out of the box. She shut it again, locking it twice as securely as she had before, and made for the edge of the crate. The three mindless walkers were still hovering around her, witnessing her breakdown and comeback, waiting for her to just throw herself into their sagging arms.

 

And that's exactly what she did.

 

* * *

 

 

Rick was off with Michonne looking for guns; Aaron, Marcelo, and Tara went off in search of Adrian, and Negan was fuming over the loss of Daryl and Sherry. Saviors were out looking for Daryl while Dwight searched for Sherry. Only to end up with disappointment on both accounts, and Negan didn’t like that one bit. So, Negan had unknowingly, or perhaps not, punished the wrong man for the escapees successes, but that did little to lift his mood. However, news that a certain Alexandrian was off on her own, only to be trailed by a few of her own a day later peaked his interest enough that he was distracted of his current troubles for just a minute.

 

"You fuckers waited until now to tell me that you saw the girl? Are you fucking stupid or fucking stupid." 

 

Negan was seriously considering beating a few of his men in that outpost but decided he had more important priorities. He gathered as much information from the outpost men on the direction of the girl and how long she had been out there. He was far more curious to learn that she headed towards the city, only to fail in returning, probably prompting a group of her people to go out in search for her.

 

"We got ourselves a fucking damsel in distress then, huh boys. Keep me updated with any fucking thing that happens. Don’t fuck it up this time."

 

He radioed out and went to his room to gather his trusty sawed knife and to leave Simon with instructions to run the Sanctuary while he was absent. Without a minute to waste, he was out on his way towards the parked vehicles with an awaiting group of three men that were to accompany him on the trip to no man's land.

 

The ride there was quiet on his behalf, the other men holding brief conversations and throwing jabs and jokes here and there, completely at ease. Negan was just as calm and collected, but he felt a bubble of excitement at being on his way to Adrian. Not for any positive reasons, of course, but for simply wanting to see her in distress, struggling, pleading for help. Pleading him for help and to have her at her most vulnerable, like she had once had him. He grinned in malicious excitement. Ready to have her all to himself to manipulate as he wished, because now she owed him one. And he already knew what he wanted to collect for her debt.

 

Arriving near the outpost that had spotted her, he radioed in for more information, but there was no update so he kept on. His eyes peeled as they drove past the highway leading straight into the city, only diverging to park the vehicle conspicuously.

 

"Alright, listen up and listen close. We're here to retrieve the girl not fucking kill her. If she's not already dead. As soon as you find her, fucking tell me, don’t try to catch her or shoot her or whatever the fuck, just call it through the walkie. Simple, right? So don’t fuck this shit up. Let's go."

 

He knew they were behind on time from her group that was probably currently looking for her, but he felt optimistic that he would find her first or at least she'd be seeing him today. Perhaps he was simply over-confident rather than optimistic, but it made no difference to him.

 

They found a hidden entrance to pass through and quickly planned escape routes and meeting points if anything were to go awry. They split up into groups of two, Negan pairing himself with the quietest of the three, but the smartest one. Not smarter than himself, but he wasn’t competing.

 

They searched a few buildings, some empty and some overrun, before they stumbled upon an antique restaurant that had more dust in it to breathe in than air itself. The two men entered the deserted establishments, an eerie quiet that was disrupted by a groan as soon as they walked three steps.

 

The groan caused the young man behind Negan to tighten his grip on his gun and knife, but Negan held a hand out to him and lifted a finger up to his lips with a grin. The groan did not come from a walker; it sounded more pained than hungry, and he knew exactly who it came from.

 

"Sweetheart? You okay back there?" He called out, wasting no time to taunt her and spike her with anxiety.

 

However, Adrian was currently struggling to clean out her wound with the cleanest washcloth she could find in the kitchen supply closet. She had checked for debris and dirt and all the nasty stuff that cause infection, but she wouldn’t be safe for sure until a few more hours. She was just about to attempt to use some basic first-aid kit sutures to close the concerning large wound that was of equal measure on her back as it was on her front.

 

Taking a risk of enormous stature, she blamed her blood loss and head trauma as she called back to him.

 

"Actually, I could use a hand."

 

Stupid girl. Well, either way you were gonna die so who cares.

 

Negan was surprised that she called back so quickly, but even more so that she had asked for help. He wasn’t stupid though, this very well could be a trap, landing him dead the minute he stepped into that back room.

 

In leisure strides, he walked over to the back kitchen that had a small sink and mirror near the far corner to his right as he walked in. His worries of this being a trap diffused as he saw her leaning over a bloody sink both hands gripping the sides with equally bloody hands. Her body shook as she took uneven, shallow breaths, further distressing her wound which he noticed easily. She had on only a black racerback tank top that accentuated her fair skin and the blood that was currently pouring out of a wound on her left shoulder, the hole clearly visible. Her shirt was probably soaked with blood as it was running all over and her head had an area matted with blood, which he assumed was from a pretty bad head injury.

 

"Now I've seen you on your best and worst days. When's the wedding, sweetheart?" He joked, with the aim of frustrating and angering her. But she only let out a soft, airy chuckle.

 

"Right after you stitch up this hole in my back. We can discuss centerpieces while you're at it." She jested back, looking over at him with a small, weak smirk. He saw how much that small gesture took all her energy and he quickly dismissed the young man who was standing idly behind him to go look for the rest and wait for him at the car. The young man wanted to argue that it was dangerous to go through the city alone, but one look from Negan sent him running without further hesitation.

 

Negan waltzed over to where she stood hunched over with hooded eyes and sickly pale skin that would have been worrisome if he cared.

 

"How'd you get yourself this fucked up, hm?" He inquired as he picked up the suture that hung from her feeble hand. He grabbed a pinch of her skin together to sew and that forced a weak moan of discomfort to fall from her lips.

 

"You," she said with eyes closed, but she sensed the confused look he was giving her, so she elaborated, "you wanted something grand for your next pick up, so here I am."

 

It took a surprising amount of energy for her to let out all those words, and she sagged a little more into herself after she said them. She was going to need some blood and fast, before she passed out.

 

Negan eyed her before grabbing a stool from the other corner of the kitchen and brought it over to where she swayed, motioning her to sit. She did so, and her shaky legs were relieved as he placed himself behind her to continue his stitches. She felt his warm nimble fingers prodding her skin and the puffs of even breaths that he released through his nose as he worked. They were warm in contrast to her cold skin and she willed herself to not break out in goosebumps, lord pray he didn’t interpret them to mean something differently.

 

"Well, I fucking appreciate the initiative and the insanely stupid fucking decision to go out on a suicide mission for little ol' me," he slightly reprimanded, not because he was concerned but because the sheer stupidity was too much for him to ignore.

 

"Yeah, well, everyone is allowed a stupid decision once in a while. Besides, now you get to touch me like I bet you've been wanting to, so it's a win for you really," she says boldly and stupidly as it takes a moment for her words to register in her mind. However, she's not the only one shocked by her bold comebacks.

 

"You sayin' it ain't a fucking win for you, too, sweetheart?" He jests back, now purposely running his long fingers along the smooth skin where her shoulder isn't injured. He stops after a moment of no reaction from her or her body, continuing the sutures and he starts to smirk as she opens her mouth to respond.

 

"I have a giant hole in my back that you can probably see through, I'd say I'm not in a winning situation," she says, groaning as he tightens the final suture, tightly bringing her skin together, but gentle enough that it doesn’t break the thread. She lets out a breath as he reaches over to grab the gauzes and wraps to cover up the stitches. He applies some cool cream that she assumes is some type of antibiotic serum before he places a gauze over it, holding it with tape.

 

"Turn around," he says in a low voice, preparing the suture kit for the next set of stitches for the front of her shoulder.

 

She turns but keeps her head down and eyes closed as she tries to use as little strength and energy as possible. She feels his warm hands pinch again some of her skin to start sewing back together and she inhales deeply at the sting of each puncture and pull. She is so focused on breathing and calming her mind that she doesn’t hear him when he calls her name out.

 

"Adrian," he says a little more firmly and she lifts her head to meet his eyes, noting how dark the shade of brown is, which is further accentuated by the crow's feet on the outer corners. She wonders briefly how old he is as she continues to examine and study his face intensely. It isn't until his face contorts into confusion that she blinks and looks back at him with raised eyebrows.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I asked if you were gonna fucking pass out anytime soon because I don’t want to have to carry your fucking ass out of here," he complains, his words slowly registering in her mind as she feels her head sway slightly.

 

"My head hurts," she mumbles petulantly as she pouts up at Negan, her brain turning to mush as the blood loss begins to cause her body to stop functioning. Well, more like just her brain and her goddamn mouth filter.

 

"Is this how Glenn felt when you bashed his head in? No wait, I think he had it worse," She whispers, squeezing her eyes shut as she shakes her head answering her own question.

 

Negan remains quiet, knowing she's too out of it to really understand and register completely if he gave her a legitimate answer. He just finished off her final suture, this time she doesn’t flinch, but just stares off at the floor as he applies another gauze and wraps her shoulder to cover both wounds. He doesn’t understand why he helped her, really, he didn’t need the advantage of holding one over her since she and Alexandria are all under his control anyways.

 

Going around her, he parts the hair around the gash on her head to assess it before simply patting it with a leftover gauze and cleans up the somewhat dried blood. He realizes she's not flinching at the touch and he barely catches her as she falls forward, nearly falling face flat.

 

"Shit, fuck," he grumbles out as he sits her up, slapping her slightly to try to bring her back to consciousness, to no avail.

 

Letting out a frustrated sigh he lifts her up from under her knees and supports her back, walking over to pick up Lucille with her in his arms. He looks around for her stuff and places it all on her lap since his hands are occupied. Grunting, he considers leaving her shit since she doesn’t deserve the kind fucking gesture, but he brushes it off. Convincing himself that it will win him some points with her, something he plans to use to his advantage in the future.

 

* * *

 

 

"She's not here, guys. We've looked everywhere we could. It's getting dark, we should be heading back…" Tara trails off, not wanting to leave without her, but also not wanting to be stuck out in the city, vulnerable at night time.

 

"I don’t want to leave without her. If we don’t find her now, then we'll just be leaving her for dead, it's been two days," Marcelo sighs, his eyebrows furrowed and his voice resigned.

 

"No, we'll come back and keep looking. Maybe she's injured and got out of the city. She's gotta be around somewhere," Aaron says, his eyes scanning as they stand just outside the entrance into the city that they had squeezed through. Aaron did not plan on giving up just yet.

 

They both nodded and headed back towards their vehicle, none of them saying anything as they mourned the day lost, wasted away without anything to show for it.

 

Negan, on the other hand, grinned widely all the way back to the Sanctuary as the three men were squeezed in the back seat and the black haired damsel in distress laid out unconscious on the front seat next to him. He knew she would wake up, somehow, he just knew it. And he knew that once she did, he would have her right under his nose and to his mercy. He just needed to come up with a way to punish her and get back at her for what she had done all those months ago. Yeah, Negan was a bastard for holding a grudge but he couldn’t give two fucks about it.

 

Whistling an old tune, he turned onto the dirt road leading towards the gates of the Sanctuary.


	5. The Lion's Den

Adrian awoke, fighting a haze that didn’t seem to want to settle, leaving her in a faint fog of false serenity. But then she really broke through to consciousness and she found herself laying in a small bed covered in white sheets, a contrast to the dark gray walls that encased the entirety of the unfamiliar room. It seemed to be a type of medical area, compact with endless supplies of medications and medical equipment that almost made it resemble a hospital. Even the visiting chairs reminded her of the time she sat in one for hours, holding a lifeless hand in her own as she willed it to twitch or show some kind of life. The memory was not pleasant.

 

She attempted to sit up to get comfortable but she instantly regretted it with a deep groan. Glancing over, she noticed a new and improved bandage on her shoulder, wrapped tightly and formed into a thick layer of protection from the surrounding environment. She dropped her head softly back onto the pillow, only to also regret that and whimper as a resonating stabbing sensation fleeted from her head wound and down her spine. She let out a breath in hopes of relieving the pain and reminded herself to be more careful with her injuries.

 

Struggling, she sat up with a grunt, but came short as she tried to tug her right hand away, only to be met with resistance. Of course, the slick bastard had her handcuffed to the damn bed rail.

 

With a huff, she laid back, this time wary of her wounds, and made herself as comfortable as she could get, awaiting her captor… or rescuer. Or King Asshole. Yeah, that title fit better.

 

A few minutes later, the door to her right opened with a slight croak and Dr. Carson, the one that is supposed to be at Hilltop, walked in with a slight smile on his face. Registering Adrian's confused look, he explained to her that his brother had perished and he was escorted here to replace him. Adrian snorted at that.

 

"So, he kidnapped you after he offed your brother. What a man," she muttered before apologizing to Dr. Carson for his loss. He simply nodded and shrugged slightly.

 

"In this world now you have to be prepared for anyone to die at any moment, otherwise you’ll just die of the constant grief," he said solemnly, not meeting her eye as he timed her vitals and checked her shoulder wound.

 

"Living like that is not really living, Doc. But it's the new world order, I suppose," She muttered back lightly, sighing as she got a glimpse of her scarring wound before he began to wrap it up once again.

 

"Well, we all get through this life some way or another. Good news is, you have not contracted an infection; bad news, you're probably not gonna be able to use that arm to its full extent for about or week or so, not until the muscle heals. It was a pretty substantial hole that tore right through, and your headwound is equally as bad. I am surprised, but relieved that you did not sustain any acute or chronic cerebral damage. I already have a list of the exercises and stretches you should do daily so that you don’t end up with a dead arm. Also, there are some instructions on there on how to clean and take care of your wounds."

 

Adrian listened attentively, trying to commit everything to memory in case she lost the paper he slipped under her cup of water that sat on the small stand next to her bed. Adrian pondered how long she would last in this room before the asshole of the hour came to retrieve her and lock her away in his dungeon. She expected nothing less, seeing as that even after all this time, he was still seething over the smallest thing from months ago.

 

Dr. Carson excused himself, not meeting her eye as he placed two sets of pills on the stand next to her water and made his way out the door. No doubt he was under strict obligation to inform Negan of her return to consciousness. She tried fruitlessly to free herself of her restraints, but gave up shortly after realizing that she wouldn’t be getting out of this place anytime soon. So instead, she conjured up as many possible scenarios and escape plans, despite her limited amount of intel on the community and its landscape.

 

She turned her attention to the pills the Doc had left for her and downed them down dryly as the small cup of water did little to help. As soon as she put down the empty paper cup, the door croaked open again and she turned her head with a strain in her neck, but rather than being met with whom she expected would be Negan, she now sat in front of Simon. She had had no interaction with the guy, having only seen him once and that was back when she first met Negan on that oh so faithful night.

 

_Fuck. This is worse than Negan._

 

Much to her surprise, he sports a huge grin that causes most of his face to crinkle up, almost childlike. She says nothing and instead waits for him to address her first. But much to her chagrin, he just stands there with that stupid grin, just smiling down at her for a moment too long before he actually speaks.

 

"What's your name, sweetheart? I didn’t catch your name the first time we met, y'know, given that you were all raging bitch on us."

 

Adrian couldn’t contain herself, really, but she didn’t think it would bring on any consequences, so instinctively, she rolled her eyes. It was a force of habit when she was met with arrogant men. But apparently this was an issue for Simon.

 

Gripping her jaw tightly, he held her still as he brought his face down just centimeters away from her own, his nose just a smudge away from brushing against her own.

 

"You have pretty eyes, girly. I'd hate for you to lose them; so, quit with the attitude and play nice. Around here, we don’t take kindly to that shit, so you better learn the new law of the land before someone decides to _really_ teach you a lesson."

 

This time she didn’t roll her eyes, but instead glared at him until he backed away and resumed to grin down at her with that annoying look on his face and then she realized it. These men were all ruthless; it wasn’t just Negan. Simon's empty threat just then didn’t faze her or scare her, but she knew that this community was probably run tightly by King Asshole, and she wouldn’t get anywhere with force and attitude. She had to play them all, subtle enough not to come off so strong and blow her façade so quickly, but just enough that it was believable to even herself.

 

"Adrian," she grumbled out, looking away from his eyes to look down at her restrained wrist before lifting her eyes back up to his.

 

"Your parents wanted a boy, didn’t they?"

 

Simon chuckles at his own joke and Adrian tries really hard not to roll her eyes again, so instead she closes her eyes to do so before opening them to look back at him. She had heard that same joke so many times as a child, even as an adult, so she didn’t really care, but this guy made her want to deck him in the jaw.

 

She looked past him to see Negan walk up to the door that was left ajar by Simon.

 

"You bullying the fucking new kid, Simon?" He asks, but the grin still doesn’t fall off Simon's face.

 

"Just getting acquainted, boss," he chirps merrily and Adrian sends Simon her bitchiest stank face that in turn causes him to frown at her in the most condescending manner. Again, she has to refrain from wanting to send her fist flying towards his face.

 

"Yeah, Simon here was just welcoming me to the community. He has quite the bedside manners."

 

Negan smirks while Simon bellows out a loud and obnoxious laugh as he slaps a hand over her good shoulder, giving it a squeeze before whispering in her ear that he likes her already. Adrian knows his position in the Sanctuary and she knows that he had as much to do with her friends' deaths and her own misery as Negan did, but she squelches that hatred and disdain and instead forces out an impassive look that threatens to fall and her expose her true feelings. She hates all men associated with Negan.

 

"Can't say I feel the same. My apologies."

 

"You wound me, sweetheart. But don’t you worry, you'll learn to like me soon enough,"

 

_Does he ever stop fucking smiling so much? God, even my cheeks hurt from looking at him._

 

He doesn’t give her a chance to respond as he makes his way over to the door to exit, sending Negan a sideway glance and a nod before shutting the door behind him. Negan makes his way over to her right side of the bed, his hand absent mindlessly twirling Lucille as he grabs the Doctor's chair-stool to sit as close to her as possible.

 

"You remember anything from your little trip? Me saving your fucking ass and all that, you remember?"

 

Adrian nods and keeps her eyes focused on his own but she pays equal attention to his innovative weapon that rests on his lap. Her senses are on high alert, alarm bells ringing in an urgency that has her shoulders tense as she tries her best to regain her calm composure. He puts her on edge, not completely out of fear, but something far worse and different that she hasn’t figured out yet. And he can sense her anxiety rolling off her in waves and tides that call to him.

 

"So, you remember that I did some fucking shit that I didn’t have to do. I very well could have fucking left you there to bleed out like a gutted fucking pig or better fucking yet, I could have tortured and fucked you up a bit more _before_ ending your pathetic fucking shit life. But I didn’t. Instead, I went out of my motherfucking way to fucking patch up your shit for arm and afforded you _my_ fucking care, _my_ fucking medicine and _my_ doctor's fucking time and talents. Now, I don’t want this kind act to seem like you're off the fucking hook for all that fucking shit you pulled in front of my men. No _siree!_ This is simply an effort to show you that I am a reasonable as fuck guy. Now, I'm gonna keep you here for a while, who knows how fucking long, I haven't quite decided on that yet. But rest assured, sweetheart, I'm gonna fucking get motherfucking pleasure from busting your balls like you did mine."

 

Throughout his little zealous monologue, Adrian did her best to not reflect anything on her face as a reaction that might set him off. Fuck him, Adrian isn't offended by his petulant insults, but she doesn’t like how he's throwing it in her face that she was fucked up and could only resort to asking for his help. She doesn’t even care about his threat of torture and giving her hell because she's been through far worse than he could ever imagine. But she really hates his arrogance and huge ego.

 

"I know it must have burned you deep in your dark soul to have to help me out. I'm not gonna thank you for shit if that’s what you're expecting because we both know why you helped me. You're a selfish prick, so, you couldn’t bear the thought of me dying knowing it wasn’t at your own hands. Plus, now you have me prisoner, which is what you've always fucking wanted—bet you even nutted over the thought a couple times, too. So, spare me the fucking egotistical speech and get on with the torture already, you spineless fuck."

 

Negan sits back in his chair slowly, Lucille still gripped tightly in his hand as a slow easy grin becomes evident on his face. He was expecting nothing less of a reaction from her and he was fucking enjoying pissing her off to no end.

 

"You with that big burly fuck from the other day? Forgot his name, my fucking apologies."

 

His change of tone and subject causes Adrian's head to reel and spin, giving her some major whiplash, but she quickly catches up.

 

"Marcelo? No."

 

Adrian gives him no further details or insight into her relationship, or lack of thereof, with Marcelo. She will keep all the people she cares about safe, and that means not mentioning shit to Negan about them. Ever. Those people, all of whom inhabit Alexandria, have become a family she didn’t want. She never thought that she would love and befriend a man like Daryl Dixon and a bizarrely similar man as herself like Rick Grimes. Michonne and Maggie were easy to love and she has put her life on the line for them countless times, as have they. Carl and Judith fill her with some pure, innocent feeling that she hadn't felt for some time, even long before the world went to shit. Aaron and Tara and Rosita were each a force a nature themselves, encompassing attributes that she admired and sought comfort in countless times. They had become an unwelcomed family that she swore up and down she never wanted, but now she missed the hell out of them. All she could do now was keep them safe.

 

"Really? Well, I can't think of anyone else who would be suitable to fucking handle your shit, so I'm assuming you're a lonely fuck who's in need of a good motherfucking lay. That's why you're so bitchy and anal about every fucking thing."

 

"I think you mistake my dislike for you as a mood I convey all day, every day. I happen to be a relatively cheery, optimistic-as-fuck gal, but with you? All I can think about is ripping your annoying vocal chords out of your throat and shoving them up your asshole. So, excuse me if I can't get past my disdain towards you to be a pleasant fucking guest. Don’t assume shit about me, it just makes you look more ignorant than you actually are."

 

He lets out a bellow of an obnoxious laugh before he stops and stands so fast Adrian nearly gets whiplash. Again. A substantial amount of her long dark, ratty hair is held in a death grip as he antagonizes the sore strain in her neck to force her gaze upwards. Green eyes lock onto dark, cold ones that seem so hallow she almost feels pity for whatever turmoil he has endured that has made him a shell of himself. Almost.

 

"Listen up and listen close. I got your attention? _Good_. I know you get your panties wet as a motherfucker from speaking back and disrespecting the fuck outta me. But that shit ends now. I get that bullshit from you one more fucking time and I'm gonna rip apart everyone you love while you watch. This shit doesn’t fly and I _really_ wish the day comes when you fuck up because _then_ maybe, you’ll fucking learn to respect me."

 

Adrian continues to stare up at him, her gaze just as hot as his, only she’s the only one in danger of getting punished for it. She is zoned the fuck out because she knows that otherwise, she will not be able to contain an outward expression of her anger and annoyance towards him. She focuses on her calm breathing, ignoring the puffs of breath that hits her face as he continues to stand rather closely to her face.

 

Adrian is one stoic statue and Negan just stares at her, releasing his grip on her hair. He knows she has plenty to say but is wisely choosing to keep her mouth shut. He reaches out to unlock her handcuffs and briskly walks out the door, closing it behind him. She knows this is some type of test, but she doesn’t know what he expects from her. She glances at the faded black backpack that holds her belongings and decides she wants a change of clothes. Maybe it’ll buy her some time in case he’s waiting for her on the other side.

 

Sporting a new gray racerback tank and faded dark blue jeans with her usual boots, she gathers her things before hesitantly going to the door. She looks around briefly, looking for another way out aside from the door. The window is only contemplated for a second before she deducts she wouldn’t survive the fucking fifty foot drop. Crawling through the vents also crosses her mind, but she only rolls her eyes at herself. This isn't some spy movie she's living.

 

Yanking the door, she finds no one on the other side of it but the endless gray walls and empty halls. She has no clue as to where she is or where to go next. She doesn’t expect it to be easy, and the look of this place is so monotone and lifeless that it unnerves her and dampens her mood. She decides on going right, following the hallway walls that lead her towards a stairwell. Opening the door, she clambers down to the very end of the stairwell and is met with two doors on either side of her. She knows one goes further into the building so she takes the one that goes into the outside world.

 

The scorching heat and brightness of the sun override her senses for a second before she steps out, only to stop abruptly. Fuck me.

 

Negan stands only a few yards away, about a dozen men surrounding him in a semicircle. They are all looking at her expectantly, each one sporting different expressions; some look angered, others impassive, and some downright sickly excited. Adrian steels herself for whatever these men have in store for her, hoping that it was nothing more than a beating. That she could handle. It was a little white lie that she told herself in hopes that she could get some strength from it.

 

Negan walks up to her as she stands still near the door. Grabbing her by the nape of her neck, he pushes her forward as he stands next to her.

 

"Let's get acquainted, shall we,"

 

Adrian sees a familiar face that makes her jaw tick and her eyes drift down to the bandaged hand. Dave looks at her with a steely gaze that has her knowing exactly what Negan plans for her. Now that she looks around, she sees some vaguely familiar faces. These are the men that witnessed her bust his balls that first night at her camp and she can't help but feel the hairs at the back of her neck rise.

 

"You remember my man, _Davey,_ here, don’t you? Yeah, you fucking mangled the poor fuck's hand. A damn shame because _Davey_ here is my best damn motherfucking mechanical engineer. Fuck! He does some good shit around here… well he did. We tried our best to save his hand, but it is just not the fucking same anymore," Negan gets up in her personal space for this next part, so only she can hear.

 

"This is me unbusting my motherfucking balls," he pulls back slightly to smirk down at her, "and I'm gonna enjoy _this_ show much fucking more than our last one." 

 

Adrian suddenly feels claustrophobic as he backs away onto the sidelines and Dave steps forward to stand just out of her reach. His eyes clearly showing his intentions and Negan chuckles from the sidelines, making some crude joke about hoping she knows how to fight as well as she knows how to shoot a gun. That and some colorful expletive thrown into the joke.

 

Dave is a relatively bulky guy, but most of it is fat and not hard muscle. Adrian suddenly feels grateful for the extra training she did aside from the norm fighting that the academy trained her in. She used to complain and think it unnecessary when her partner woke her at the crack of dawn to learn some ancient defense shit that she felt was redundant. When she was captured once while out in the field, she felt grateful for his insistence and now, long after his death, she is once again grateful for his paranoia and persistence.

 

Dave's eyes come ablaze as he lifts his good hand to try to throw a blow at her jaw, but she steps away from it, using his arm's momentum to grab it and twist it. He falls on one knee to relieve the pressure on his arm, and Adrian releases him, jerking him away from her with a shove. She knows he's going to come at her now with even more anger but she's smaller than him, slimmer, and faster, and hopefully she can use that to her advantage. She hasn’t done much hand to hand combat since the first year of the apocalypse, so she's a bit rustier than she'd like.

 

Dave stands to full height and this time his punch follows through at her nose, sending her stumbling a few steps back. The next blow goes to her stomach but she stops his meaty arm before it gets there, pulling him towards her as she sends a hard kick to the side of his knee, again sending him to the floor. She brings her knee up to his face, making his nose bleed like hers. He grabs a hold of the leg planted firmly on the ground and pulls, landing her on her ass. Her arms catch her body as she falls but before she can protect herself, Dave pounces on her, pinning down her offending arms. His legs and lower pelvis settle in between to pin her body down, leaving her legs free. This is his first stupid mistake as she uses the hard part of the back of her boot to kick the back of his knee where the two slim bones run down the thigh to connect to the back of the knee.

 

One of his hands creeped up to grab at her neck tightly, but her rough kicked caused a grunt to tear out of his throat and his hand loosened. She used this to twist his pinky finger backwards, causing him to twist his body in pain, allowing her to shove him off of her. Her legs bent to get up, while she sent him to the floor landing on his front side roughly. She twisted one of his arms backwards again, but this time pressed her thumb right under his last rib on his back, causing him to howl out in pain. His free arm and torso flailed in attempt to get freed, but she hovered over him on her knees, keeping him from getting up.

 

Adrian's chest heaved from the exertion and the blazing heat that threatened to have her pass out at any second. She raised her eyes to Negan who stood in the exact same spot he had retreated to when he sent his dog on her. Not straying her sights from him, she relieved Dave from the pressure at his back and stood up, stepping away from him to ensure she was ready if he wanted a round two. Apparently, he had enough humiliation as he silently walked back to the line, seething and calling her endless colorful names in his head.

 

Negan stepped forward, a ghost of a smirk on his face as he moved his gaze from her to the line of men.

 

"Anyone else want to have a go at her?"

 

Adrian tensed at his words; words that implied something other than a fight and she stood ready to run. She knew she could defend herself, but it still sent a fearful shiver up her spine.

 

No one stepped up, so Negan began to stroll in front of the line of men, looking down at the floor as he twirled Lucille absent mindlessly.

 

"Who are you?" Lucille was lifted to point at a man at the end of the line, Negan lifting his gaze to look directly at her.

 

"Negan."

 

Another man was pointed at, asked the same question and filtered the same response, "Negan."

 

A couple more were questioned the same and Adrian realized Negan's game. He forced his men to prove their loyalty by completely giving themselves up to Negan. Their identity, who they are, their whole substance as an individual is stripped and replaced with the sole purpose to please their leader. It doesn’t matter who you were, who you are, or who you have the potential to be; all that matters in the new world order is that Negan is King Dick and his way is they only way, and that includes submitting yourself to him wholly. These people surrender themselves to serve him and Negan gains power and confidence in this. This is where Negan gets himself off.

 

Negan's intimidation tactics— the hovering over everyone's personal space, the whispered threats and the loud obnoxious ones, the smiles and calm demeanor, the fucking jokes— they all stem from this. He knows damn well that he has an army that have not only given up limbs and lives for him, but their whole soul as well. That is how Negan finds himself owning the royal fucking throne. Without his devoted goons, Negan is left a shell of a man only fueled with anger and resentment and not the charisma that he embodies now. Negan's weakness is his power over these people. Losing them is how he's defeated.

 

Lucille is now pointing up close and personal to her face.

 

"Who are you?"

 

Adrian doesn’t even think twice about it as she decides to keep her mouth shut. She's not 'Negan' and she swears she'll die before uttering the response he craves.

 

His smirk falls only slightly. He walks the few steps to stand in her personal space, uttering that same question in her face.

 

"Who fucking _are_ you?"

 

"I'm Adrian."

 

Negan remains in the same spot in front of her, his breath hitting her face, his annoying amused look returning to his face.

 

"I get it. I really fucking do. You don’t know me or my fucking people. It's far too early to make such life fucking changing decisions without getting to know us and learning what the fuck we're all about."

 

So, she will die if she chooses not to declare her loyalty to him. She wonders how many have died because they chose to be free instead of falling to this sociopath's feet.

 

Negan steps back and dismisses his posse of men except for Simon. Negan and he discussed earlier about what they planned to do with the ticking time bomb they now have in their home. While Negan is giddy to try out his little trial run, Simon is still apprehensive towards the girl.

 

"Now, _Adrian,_ Simon here will show you to your room. I had originally planned to throw your psycho little ass into the fucking cell next to your buddy Daryl, who by the fucking way, has managed to get his rat ass out of here. That's right, you didn’t know about that, huh. But that's beside the point. You will not get the same treatment, sweetheart, and it is not because I have had a change of fucking heart about you, no fucking way. I'm not gonna lie, you are a huge motherfucking threat to me and my goddamn authority, so, you're gonna be by my side twenty-four fucking seven. I don’t trust you not to connive and charm your way out of that fucking cell. You see, we've been watching you and Rick's group of little fire ants, and I am im- _fucking_ -pressed. You're both A fucking leaders— I'm not too prideful to admit— and _that_ is a fucking safety hazard for me.

 

So, for now, I'm disbanding the fucking crew and keeping you here with me where your talents are used for the better, stronger team. Now, I know this is a mighty hard decision to abide to, so I'll give you until tomorrow to settle the fuck in and get used to the goddamn idea because _sweetheart_ , you do not want to start off on the wrong foot tomorrow. This is our fresh start! Hey, maybe we'll become the best of fucking friends. But only if you cooperate, so really, this all rides on your shoulders because that pathetic beating that Dave doled out? That's it. That’s my payback and _now_ , well, I'm putting that shit behind me. I suggest you do the same."

 

His little histrionics ends with his dazzling smile as he leans back to inspect her face, looking for anything that he'd find out of place, before waltzing off. A low whistling tone echoes and is left in the wake of his retreating steps.

 

Adrian turns to Simon who bears an uncanny smile, and she knows right then that she has no choice in her new life now. She feels hopeful knowing that Daryl is out and reunited with his family, but now she has replaced him. Negan can claim all he wants that he's not killing her because he's forgiven her, but she knows it's because he's lost his leverage and he just found a new one. She knows Negan isn’t the type to forgive and forget. This is all a show and she’s going to have to play along to survive and hope she doesn’t end up dead before she gets to see this man fall from his high and mighty throne.

 

Rick knows damn well that Adrian is as tough as nails and that she'll die for her people, so when Dwight informs them that she has been captured by Negan this whole time they have been searching for her, he feels hopeful. He now has someone on the other team that he trusts and has complete confidence in. He only hopes that he can trust Dwight equally as much to delegate messages to her and not get them killed or caught in the process.

 

They're going to war soon and their next encounter with Negan is going to be life changing for all of them. He can only hope that Adrian can keep herself safe in the lion's den.


	6. Nathaniel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will apologize in advance because this chapter has the least amount of action, drama, gore and basically everything I find entertaining. I will admit this is as much of a filler chapter as it is a chapter to introduce some new OCs. Also, I'm giving you guys some time to breathe and prepare before I make you all hate me for the upcoming chapters...

Victor is as stoic as they come. He is also the man assigned to get Adrian started up on her first day with the Saviors. When Negan had told her that he would practically be babysitting her by being by her side "twenty-four fucking seven", Adrian really wondered if he had that much free time on his hands. But she has now figured out that when he said Negan would be with her at all time, he meant his mindless goons who, she supposes, are also all 'Negan'. So, here she was, attempting to keep up with all the mind-numbing rules and expectations of living in this homey compound. The points system made sense with the amount of people living here, but the way some of the "higher-ups" go about it makes her involuntarily ball her fists.

 

She learned about the wives and the "Lieutenant" Saviors, like Simon and Dwight, who require a higher level of "respect" than the rest of the inhabitants. That definitely generated an eye roll that she was sure Simon would have loved to witness. The different jobs and positions were also laid out to her in immense detail, Victor probably not wanting to miss anything and lose his head to Lucille for it. Turns out her first day would entail her working the "fence", whatever that meant.

 

She soon found out as she stepped out into the open expanse in front of the largest building, which she was being held prisoner in. She hadn't been able to step one foot out of her room except to get food—her room providing her a bathroom at least, albeit it was probably the smallest bathroom she'd ever stepped foot in. She feasted her eyes on the various walkers that were chained up against the fence and to cinder blocks.

 

A pile of ragged clothes that looked like they hadn't been washed in years were thrusted into her arms. She glanced up to see Victor giving her a sympathetic look, the most emotion he had displayed all day.

 

"Negan wants you to try out a bunch of jobs around here, see where you fit in best. I guess he's starting you at the bottom. Sorry."

 

Adrian knew that Negan wasn’t doing this to see where she "fit in". He knew her strengths very well and knew that her talents were being wasted doing shit work. She didn’t complain or object however, figuring this was part of his payback for what she had done so, she knew there was no escaping the grunt work planned for her.

 

"So, what do I do?"

 

* * *

 

 

Adrian had never sweated as much as she had that whole, excruciating day. Shoveling and trying to contain a bunch of decaying, flesh-hungry bodies was hard enough. It was worse when she had to work under the scorching heat of the summer sun rays and even _worse_ with an aching shoulder. Her day was pretty much uneventful aside from the groveling and her mind working overload to keep from getting bit due to the close proximity of the walkers and the other 'workers' around her being complete klutz. One of them was an older rambunctious man who wouldn’t stop cracking jokes left and right and kept distracting the others there, and of course, one of his loud obnoxious laughs nearly cost him his life. One of the stragglers he was maneuvering nearly got a good chunk of his arm but Adrian used her own walker to bump it away from his arm. That definitely shut him up and she was awarded silence the rest of the day. She had overheard snippets of conversations here and there and found that her "job" was normally a low-levelled punishment.

 

Low-level because it did not compare to the iron— or death—as she had been warned by Victor as he laid out the lay of the land earlier that morning.

 

Adrian dragged her tired body towards her room, not missing to realize that one of the Saviors was not-so-subtly trailing her. No doubt under direct orders from Negan, King of everything Dickhead related. And this was a Dickhead move. If he was so apprehensive of what she might do, he should’ve locked her up in his dungeon to rot. She was a prisoner, the only thing missing to complete the experience was a cozy cell, but everything else in her life was being dictated and observed carefully. She wished so hard to be able to go back home, but she also knew that if she made a run for it now they would catch her so fast she wouldn’t even make it past the first fence.

 

Her shoulder ached uncomfortably and she kept herself from grunting out in pain every few seconds. She hoped that a quick shower and restful night would relieve some of her pain. She decided to make her shower quick because she had to make it to dinner before she got the left overs, like Victor warned her would happen if she lagged to get there on time. Plus, it took extra time to redress her shoulder.

 

The water pressure was not the best and the temperature of the water was always set somewhere between hot and cold that had her wishing was just a bit colder to combat the heat. She dried herself carefully as she only used her good arm, hoping to give her agonized shoulder a break. Her head wound was still causing her to ache dully at moments but the pain was overpowered by the pain in her shoulder.

 

She sighed as she mindlessly took in the dull gray, melancholy room as she dressed in her jeans from earlier and picked up her tank from earlier. But one waft from it had her dropping it instantly and picking out a shirt from her drawer. There had been a surprising amount of clothes that had been stuffed in there, but she didn’t want to use it as she knew all too well who it came from. He probably put poison ivy in it or something but she really had no other choice at this point.

 

Heaving out another sigh, she thought of Alexandria as she made her way to the huge room that was lined with tables to serve as an eating area. She willed her body to line up to be served what looked to be a simple glop of beans and rice with a cup of water on the side. She really missed Michonne's breakfast lemonade right in that instant. And Marcelo's impressive pancakes made from scratch. And Daryl's grunts as he shoveled down his dinner when he occasionally joined them.

 

She had made it to the front and was now tasked with looking for a place to sit. She felt that there was a slight resemblance to a high school cafeteria where you really had to choose carefully who you sat with. The Saviors took up a whole two tables that were undoubtedly unofficially claimed as theirs. They were like the jocks of high school. Then there were the grunt workers she had worked with earlier, loud and obnoxious and _annoying_ ; otherwise known as the unwanted company, aka the losers. Then everyone else just fell under minor, unimportant categories that no one payed any attention to. However, they were no more approachable than the jocks.

 

Adrian took a breath as she chose to sit at the edge of a relatively empty table with the exception of three lonesome people who simply kept their head down. The table was adjacent to the Jock table, however, she sat on the end that was away from them. Adrian started on her food, mixing her beans and rice like she remembered her mom doing when she was younger. She had hated when she did it because she swore she was allergic to beans from how distasteful they were, but she grew to like them as she grew older. She felt a tug on her heart as she reminisced the last real moment she had had with her mother, before her world went to shit and not necessarily because the dead rose from their coffins.

 

She was about to attempt to steer her mind from those grief-stricken thoughts when two hands settled in front of her as the owner of them sat themselves on the bench in front of her. Raising her eyes to see who the tiny hands belonged to, she was met with huge green eyes that resembled her own but wider and brighter. They only seemed so big because the rest of the face was so _small_ compared to them. A goofy grin sporting two big bunny teeth and pink lips paired with the eyes stared up at her with curiosity.

 

"You have eyes like mine."

 

Adrian stared blankly at the kid in front of her, his curious eyes staring at her intently as she sat there, a spoon limp and forgotten in her right hand.

 

"Lots of people have green eyes."

 

Adrian resumed her dinner, hoping her monotone voice would disillusion the boy and send him far away from her. She was always awkward with kids, barely being able to tolerate them, and even more clueless as to how to deal with them.

 

"You have black hair. Just like mine!"

 

"Lots of people have black hair, too, kid."

 

"My name's Nathaniel. Not kid, adult." That last word was uttered in annoyance, a failed attempt to get a rise from her at the title he had given her, thinking it would bother her as much as her name for him had.

 

However, Adrian nearly snorted at how adorable he came across when he tried to be angry and defiant. Children were truly something otherworldly.

 

"Alright, Nathaniel. Nice to meet you."

 

Adrian was almost done with her plate of stale beans and hard, overheated rice when Nathaniel rushed up from his seat to run out of the eating area and into another part of the building. Shrugging it off as kid mannerisms, she finished her last spoonful of beans and rice and downed the last of her water. Rising from her seat, she took off to place her tray where everyone else seemed to be putting them and made her way to the exit that lead to the outside. She hoped none of the goons were following her this time as she wandered aimlessly outside, not knowing in which direction to head in.

 

Most of the inhabitants were inside eating dinner, with exception of a few guards milling about near the fences. She caught sight of a building near the left side of the compound that she noticed no one had gone in and out of throughout the whole day. Although her grunt work was tiring, she observed the movement and patterns of the Saviors and filed everything away in the recess of her mind. She figured this building was abandoned or housed something of great value but she didn’t plan on trying to find out that night. She simply wanted some fresh air and some seclusion.

 

She had twenty minutes until dinner was over and she had to go back into her room. Although there was no curfew set in place, she knew her situation was different from the rest of the people here. She didn’t have that freedom.

 

She took a seat on one of the top cement stairs that was divided by a hand railing in the middle. She sat and looked out towards the west side of the compound, towards the outside of the fences and away from this hellhole. Although the people weren't too awful, she hated their leader and what they all stood for. She figured some may not completely agree with the norms or the mechanisms Negan uses to survive, but the majority clearly either did not care or agreed.

 

She knew that it would probably be a while before she was able to get out and go back home. And even then, she would live in fear and hiding as she runs from the menacing King Dickhead that was nowhere to be seen all day, she had noticed. She held out hope that Rick would end him soon and just like that, her mind drifted back to Alexandria and all her people that she missed more than anything. It was all the little things that The Sanctuary lacked that she had never paid much attention to during her time in Alexandria.

 

She hated to feel so vulnerable in a world where that single feeling was a liability. But she found herself oddly grateful and comforted by the feeling. She knew how rare it was to find something or someone to make it worth feeling vulnerable and scared for. She felt herself start to well up as she looked towards the outer part of the Sanctuary, the free and uninhibited part where the faraway trees melded together to form a shape of blackness in the night, the outline of the trees barely noticeable.

 

"You know, for a newbie with a fucking bum arm, I figured you'd fail miserably out there. But I heard you did a bang up fucking job on the first day. Goddamn, I kind of prefer you as the damsel in distress, if I'm being honest."

 

She felt him sit beside her and she felt dwarfed by his loud presence and his tall stature. Adrian turned her neck to look at him over her shoulder as she was hunched over with her elbows resting on her knees. She was feeling a different kind of mood that night that she hadn't felt in some time. She felt tired, honest to God exhausted and she just wanted to _cry._ And it wasn’t because of her current situation or the world being a complete shithole. She just wanted to cry because she hadn't done it in years and she had forgotten the feeling.

 

And now she sat next to a man who had murdered her closest friends in cold blood just to prove a point. She took in his appearance without really looking away from his face. He wore a plain white shirt that stood out in the dark of the night and his usual non-descriptive pants. His stubble was beginning to grow back and she remembered when he had shaved back at Alexandria. His eyes were that same dark shade they always were and his tan skin was wrinkled in all the places that proved him to be a man of a somewhat advanced age.

 

"You just gonna fucking stare at me all goddamn night, sweetheart?"

 

She stared for a beat longer as she wondered if this man next to her had any redeemable qualities. She knew everyone was out for his head and she had to admit she wanted him dead just as much as the next person. But she knew deep down that she herself would never be able to go through with it. She valued human life, especially now more than ever. She had never been one to agree with taking someone's life, despite what incorrigible acts they had committed. That's why she liked Morgan so much and had been deeply disappointed when he had left after Carol and never came back. It was an aspect of her beliefs that often contradicted her usual "bitchy" and impassive outlook. She always held out even the smallest amount of hope that anyone could reach redemption. She wondered that of Negan. And as much as she wished she could believe that he was salvageable, she had not seen an act of his that evidenced it was possible. She wanted so badly to save everyone, no matter how tainted their record was, but she knew some people were sometimes just too far gone. 

 

She wondered then if she had been there that night, when Negan crowned himself King Dickhead while killing Glenn and Abraham in the process, if she would be thinking differently now. She knew of the horrible deeds that Negan had done, probably on a daily basis, but she also knew that her record wasn’t spotless either. Maybe that's why she so desperately wanted everyone to be redeemable because if someone like Negan could be, then there was hope for her after all.

 

Adrian turned to look back that the mass of trees that taunted her as their leaves breezed freely amidst the cool night gusts of wind.

 

"What's my next job?" She uttered, enthralled by the movement of the leaves that could only be noticeable if looked at closely. She felt herself wanting to sway alongside them and for a few seconds, she wondered if she had been drugged and was now all loopy.

 

"Same as today. I know it's not the most glorious fucking job, but hey! You're taking it like a fucking champ! Victor will give you a pleasant wakeup call to make sure you get your little ass to work on time."

 

Adrian hummed in understanding, not caring what she did as long as it wasn’t cleaning toilets. She figured Victor was more of a parole officer than a wakeup call buddy.

 

"You're awfully complacent, it's fucking unnerving. Stop that shit." 

 

"You rather I rebel and disobey you every time you talk to me? That the shit you're into instead?"

 

Negan's smirk appeared for the first time that night.

 

"There's that mouth of fucking fury. You're goddamn lucky I secretly like that shit from you, but it doesn’t slide in front of my people, understood? It'll be like our little secret."

 

The thought of them having some intimate joke or playful dynamic repulsed her, but she forced the feeling down. She had to play him like she's never played anyone before and with a man as clever and intelligent as Negan, it was going to be difficult. She hated to admit it, but this man was above average and she knew it would take effort to gain his trust. It was going to be a fucking mission. But it was one that had to be done.

 

It never occurred to her that Negan could be doing the same to her.

 

* * *

 

 

The following morning consisted of a similar routine. She woke up earlier than most and got breakfast, alone and without a hitch. She sat in the same spot she had the day before and she ate the same breakfast they served the day before. She felt her mood being dragged by the monotony of it all and it irked her.

 

Her work day was no different than the day before, and Randall, the old geezer who nearly got bit the day before went back to being his obnoxious, overbearing self. At one point during the day, Adrian noticed Negan and Eugene talking outside near a commercial truck without the attached compartment it usually carried. She knew he was here with Negan, but she had presumed that he was held in a cell similarly to Daryl and where she _should_ be instead of living amongst the rest of these people. Adrian now saw that Eugene looked cleaner and better than ever and was talking comfortably and animatedly with Negan. She never really warmed up to Eugene because she couldn’t stand cowards and freeloaders, but now seeing him cozy up to Negan as if him and his people weren't the reason for Alexandria's misery made her blood boil. Now not only was he a coward, but a traitorous asshole as well.

 

Adrian had half a mind to take the walker over to Eugene and have it take a big chunk of flesh from his jugular, but she settled for simply imagining it in her head. She refrained from looking over at the two for the rest of the time they were there. She missed catching sight of Sasha who had joined them and got into a coffin in the back. Adrian only looked back as she saw several cars drive out with a loud rumble. The walker she held tried to scurry off in their direction but she just sighed as she led it to one of the cinder blocks. Now that she knew he and his high-leveled goons were gone, she thought of planning an impromptu escape plan.

 

It wasn’t until lunch that she figured out that Negan would only take those many Saviors and weapons for only one reason. Alexandria. Her sudden realization caused a bubble of worry to settle in her stomach and her lunch suddenly wanted to make a reappearance, forcing her to breathe deeply to settle her stomach.

 

"You look weird. What's wrong with you?"

 

Adrian glanced up at the tiny, soft voice that spoke up in front of her. Nathaniel had settled for the seat in front of her and he held a small plate of apple slices and a small cup of water. Placing both items on the table, he sat with his back straight and his hands meticulously picked up a slice by the end and bit into it, chewing with his mouth closed. His mannerisms seemed odd to Adrian, given that kids aren't usually that proper.

 

"Nothing's wrong with me." Now more than ever, she really did not want to talk to anybody. Even if this kid was adorable and made her want to uncharacteristically pinch his cheeks. She bet he'd hate that.

 

"It's okay if you rather not talk about it. You don’t have to lie."

 

His words made her feel a bit guilty, noticing the slight tinge of offense in his tone.

 

Adrian said nothing in return and instead continued to stare blankly at her plate of food, her mind wandering yet again to everyone back home. She thought about Orbit, something she had refrained herself from doing so because it hurt too much to think about him. He had been with her since he was a small pup and had attached himself to her instantly. Luke had been jealous at first, but Orbit became her best friend. And now out in this scary world, she worried if he was being taken care of right. She knew Marcelo loved him just as much as her, but she still worried about the huge burly thing.

 

"You never told me your name." He spoke up in his usual soft voice. It made him sound younger than he probably was.

 

"You never asked."

 

"Oh. What is it?"

 

"Adrian."

 

"I had a friend named Adrian once. He was a boy. Why do you have a boy's name?"

 

"It's not a boy's name. Names don’t have genders. Anyone can have any name."

 

"Oh."

 

For a kid his age, Adrian was surprised he hadn't made some joke about her "boyish" name. She almost laughed at the thought that this kid was more mature and open-minded than Negan and Simon. Both of whom had jumped at the chance to mock her name.

 

"How old are you?"

 

"I'm eight. How old are you?"

 

"You look a lot younger than that. I'm thirty-three."

 

" _You_ look a lot younger than that. My dad is thirty-six and he actually looks his age."

 

For some reason, probably given his vocabulary and articulate voice, Adrian could tell this kid was smart. And not the kind of smart that teachers and parents claim all their average-minded children to be. No, this kid was above average, maybe not some genius or prodigy, but definitely smarter than the ordinary child.

 

"Is it just you and your dad?" She asked tentatively, hoping the question didn’t trigger him or cause him to burst out in uncontrollable tears.

 

"Yes. My mom died before we came here. Negan saved me and my dad, but he couldn’t save my mom."

 

"I wish you didn’t have to go through that. You're just a kid."

 

Adrian always hated when people apologized and said "sorry for your loss" or some shit like that. It bothered her because the words were an instinctive reflex, so she tried to refrain from saying those words to others.

 

"I wish the same thing. But my mom always said there was a reason for everything that happens."

 

"I believe the same."

 

There was a reason Adrian found herself there in that moment, sitting in the eating area of the Sanctuary, the home of her enemy. There was a reason she had eaten and worked and slept under the same roof as said enemy and blended in with the rest of his people. For some reason, she was not meant to be with her family, both of blood and otherwise, and instead, was in this room talking to a small boy. Perhaps she was simply meant to meet this boy and do something for him— help him in some way— or maybe she really was meant to be the one to end Negan. Or perhaps the reason was something entirely different. But she always believed that there was a purpose to every life, every death, every encounter, every struggle, and every grief-filled experience that lead to something greater. Life was created on the foundation of ripple effects and this was one of them.

 

"I think about her a lot. Do you think of someone like that? Someone who you know you'll probably never stop missing?"

 

"You ask some seriously deep questions, kid."

 

"Don’t call me kid."

 

"Okay, squirt."

 

"That's worse!"

 

"What would you prefer then, munchkin?"

 

"That one is just embarrassing! Why don’t you just call me by my name?"

 

"Too long."

 

"Well, that's the only option you have!"

 

The kid was clearly exasperated and Adrian found herself genuinely amused by it. She also found the child to be rather refreshing and there was a purity to him that soothed her.

 

"How about-"

 

"Nathaniel."

 

Adrian looked up to see a tall, brawny man with tan skin and green eyes that resembled Nathaniel's in a way that was almost uncanny. He wore a simple navy-blue t shirt that seemed ready to tear if he dared to flex even in the slightest. His hair was black— again, she thought that if she ever saw a picture of him as a kid, he'd look like Nathaniel's twin. He sported a slight stubble that was spotted haphazardly across his face and neck, clearly struggling to be kept due to the lack of beauty supplies.

 

"Dad! Do you want to have lunch with us?"

 

"You the new girl? The one who blew Dave's hand off?"

 

"I wouldn’t say I _blew_ it off, per se…"

 

She really didn’t want any more enemies in this place. She hated having to look over her shoulder and if she was wound up any tighter she would give herself an aneurysm.

 

"Yeah, you did. Nathaniel, what did I tell you about wondering off alone?"

 

"Well, technically, I'm not alone, Dad."

 

"Yeah, well, we don’t know her and you need to go back to Patty now. Don’t let me catch you again."

 

"Yes, Dad."

 

Adrian watched with an indifferent look as Nathaniel's head hung low as he briskly walked out. She shifted her gaze onto the man whose name she had yet to learn. He seemed hardened and she hoped he wasn’t always that blunt and rough with Nathaniel. He was a special kind of kid.

 

"I'm Jaziel. Nathaniel's father. I would appreciate it if you kept your distance from my kid. I don’t want to have to ask you again."

 

Before Adrian could even breathe, he stalked off in long strides and Adrian rose to put her lunch utensils in their corresponding places. She knew that Jaziel was just being protective of his kid, but she wondered why she posed such a threat to him. She really did not have a menacing look about her, and she was small, at least compared to him. It was odd because even in her job, her assertive nature and no-nonsense manner was the only thing that gained her respect because everyone underestimated her authority just from one look at her.

 

She was taller than most girls, and if she wore heels she towered over mostly everyone. Her body was slim, her butt round and plumper than what she thought was acceptable to her. Due to her job, she always encountered assholes who would comment of her bottom physique. At least her breasts were small enough to not be noticed, but big enough that she didn’t feel self-conscious. Her skin was neither sickly pale nor goldenly tan, it was somewhere in between. But her face. God, she had a baby face and not because she had baby fat left over or chunky cheeks. No, she had a small button nose that only looked small because she had these big pouty red lips that looked even more childish when she applied lip gloss. And she had doe eyes that made it hard for her to give stern looks to anyone. Her eyes were a soft, light green color that made her anything but intimidating.

 

That's where her bitch attitude came in. Smiling only made her look even more innocent. So, for Jaziel to even feel the need to threaten and warn her off his son as if she was a potential threat was beyond her. When she wished to be imposing and inflict fear, she failed miserably, but now that she was trying to be anything but, she succeeded. The irony of it was not lost on her.

 

The following morning, Negan awoke with the same fury in his veins that he had gone to sleep with, as a result of the day's events he had endured while visiting Alexandria. Today was not going to be a good day for him and he wanted someone to pay for it. It was no one's fault but Rick's but Negan had the next best thing right in his very same building.

 


	7. Ripples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoohoo! This is my longest chapter yet, I believe. It was also a doozy to finish, but I think the upcoming chapters will be easier to write now that I have a certain direction I want this story to follow. Enjoy!

Sometime during the night, Adrian awoke through a blur of fear and death. The dream had felt so real that it took her some time to grasp onto reality and assure herself that she was safe. From the roaming undead at least. She still felt apprehensive towards the Saviors and every night she placed the single chair in her room under the door knob.

 

She rolled over with a groan and willed her body to fall back under, and after a few minutes she did just that. Meanwhile, two floors above her laid a restless Negan in his enormous, empty bed. The soft, silk sheets did nothing to soothe him into a nice, deep slumber and he grew more and more frustrated by the minute. His body was dead tired, but his mind would simply not shut off.

 

Like a bad movie, the events of the recent months played over and over in his mind. He recalled meeting Adrian, then Rick and his people. Their defiance was unrivaled by the other communities he dealt with. He wished they were as complacent as Gregory— a complete ass-kisser. Although he had enjoyed the challenge at first, Rick had tested his patience for the last time. That shit was getting annoying now. And now they were at war.

 

Negan had no doubt in his Savior's abilities to fight and to win. But he knew it took resources and supplies that he was now deprived of from the communities. They had all turned and tried to kill him as a united front. It now weighed on him to find those supplies that are so scarce, especially with three other communities raiding and exploiting all the areas surrounding their range. He tried to conjure plans and strategies and fuck all that would help him keep his people going while he sorted out his issues with his "business partners". And while he laid restless, contemplating how far they could travel and what resources they would need, Adrian awoke _again_ in a small sheen of sweat.

 

Her subconscious continued to haunt her with those same brown eyes and chipmunk cheeks that smiled down at her. Her heart begged her mind to give her some rest from the distressing dreams and the memories that she willed so hard to disappear. Her bottom lip trembled and she groaned, angry and upset at the uncharacteristic sensitivity that she seemed to be experiencing as of late. She hated that weak feeling. Especially when her current environment was less than inviting.

 

The early morning continued to pass without bearing in mind Adrian or Negan's need of extra sleep. Both were bound to be irritable that day and Adrian dreaded the idea of having to go work on those fences again for the third day. She just wanted to curl up and turn to dust in that very bed. She had half a mind to do just that, not caring if Negan dragged her by her neck and dumped her into a filthy cell to rot as punishment. That’s how she was feeling. And just the thought of being so miserable and _depressing_ irritated her to no end. Which just aided in making her more miserable. And the cycle kept on like that.

 

Negan also felt that same irritation, but only because his body screamed for sleep while his mind tried to shut it up and force it to get up and work. Nothing worked and he almost gave into the idea of sleeping in until he remembered that he leads a community of untrustworthy liabilities. Who knows what horrors they'd do in his absence. Plus, he had a certain issue to take care of that morning.

 

Both bathed and dressed and prepared for the onslaught of challenges they'd face that day. They willed themselves to pull on a mask that read "I'm King Dickhead" and "I'm a robotic bitch, don’t talk to me". But as Adrian sat waiting for her "wakeup call buddy", she felt herself become confused as the minutes passed and the buzz of work happened outside her window, yet she was still sitting put. Debating whether to leave without him or get ironed for ditching work, Adrian made her way to her "job", figuring Negan forgot to inform Victor of his duties. He was far too busy for such trivialities.

 

The weather that morning was a lot more bearable than the past few days had been, but it was still sticky and humid. Adrian made for the shed where she usually gets her "uniform", but was stopped by a rough, large hand gripping her forearm. Turning, she saw a smiling Simon with eyes that were hard despite his grin.

 

"Walk with me, sweetheart."

 

Not bothering to ask where she was going, she walked alongside him, nearly rolling her eyes at his need to continue to grip her arm so tightly as if she were going to run away. They walked the familiar path back to her room and her annoyance turned into confusion as they stopped at her door.

 

"Play nice."

 

And with that, Simon pushed open her door and nudged her inside. Taking a step forward, she noticed the figure laying on her bed, long legs stretched out, arms folded underneath his head. His gaze was upward towards the ceiling and she stepped further inside as Simon closed the door shut behind her. They were alone in _her_ room, but it was really his so she felt out of her element.

 

"Your boots are dirtying my sheets."

 

"You'll live," he replied dryly, his eyes never moving from their focus on the boring white ceiling.

 

"What are you doing here, Negan?" she asked after a beat of silence, his unusually quiet and disinterested demeanor throwing her off her game.

 

"I needed a quiet place to fucking think. No one will think to look for me here."

 

"I'm sure there are plenty of rooms you could have chosen aside from this one. Surely you'd have no resistance if you threw someone _else_ out of their own room for your own little getaway."

 

"I'm not throwing you the fuck out, am I?"

 

"No, but I'd rather you not be here and I'm pretty sure that even if I asked _very_ nicely, you'd force your welcome anyways."

 

He finally turned his gaze on her. She was leaning against the counter of her small kitchenette. She gripped the counter behind her, her arms flexing and defining her muscles that were prominent and visible due to her sleeveless tank top. Negan's gaze wandered down to her long legs and booted feet, then back up her thin torso and full chest, up and up until he reached her face. She was staring at him with those green eyes that looked brighter and seemed to have an intense glow that morning. She held his gaze steady, not affected by his previous exploration of her body. She didn’t squirm then and now she didn’t drop his gaze, waiting for him to speak.

 

"Why didn’t you kill me that day we first met? In the woods."

 

"You had us surrounded."

 

Adrian answered without missing a beat, but the question had caught her off guard. She didn’t think Negan was here to hurt her, but she also had no idea what he _did_ want with her.

 

"No, after that. It was all six of you fuckers against three of us. Well, two, since Dave was fucking useless."

 

Adrian thought back to that night. She let him go because even though she knew he was a man who felt entitled to everything, she didn’t feel she had the right to kill him without a cause. Sure, he was an asshole and was too cocky for his own good, and he presented as a possible threat, but she knew she couldn’t kill him for just being annoying.

 

"You planned to kill us that night, didn’t you? Maybe one of us, to prove you have a fucking pair. Just to prove a point— you were going to kill someone innocent," she repeated, this time as a statement rather than a question.

 

"That's what I do, sweetheart."

 

"I couldn’t do that to you. I didn’t know you then but, I knew you were an arrogant asshole who felt entitled to get everything your heart desired. Even then, I knew you were very willing to kill us all just for sport, and in hindsight, I probably should have killed you because I knew that even though we were no longer on the receiving end that night, some other poor fucks would be. I couldn’t kill you or your men because, even though in this new life, it is smarter to kill and ask questions later, I know I don’t have a right to do that. I learned the hard way that _people_ like you are never going to be trustful so we are all better off with you all dead. But I couldn’t _do_ that. Contrary to popular belief, it's not that easy for me to take a human life."

 

Negan was now sitting up on the edge of the bed, holding her gaze steady. She had remained in the same stance the whole time, her face that same neutral expression. She never twitched or flexed or even fidgeted one bit. She obviously had experience with situations like this. Negan kept a cold gaze on her although he would normally be taunting her— or anyone, for that matter—in a situation like this, with his unnerving grin and nonchalance. He didn’t do that now and he blamed his tired body and irritated mind. 

 

"But you had no problem killing a whole fuck-ton of my men in that outpost. Yeah. You fucking remember that?"

 

"I wasn’t a part of that."

 

"Oh, I'm sure you fucking weren't."

 

"You know why Rick did it? You ever ask yourself why some random guy decided to kill a bunch of your men? Men he had never met or seen before?"

 

Negan's silence was enough to answer her question. She knew then that he had no idea what kind of a weasel Gregory was and what involvement he had in that attack. She knew it was too late to retract what she had just said and not tell Negan now, but it would only put the Hilltop in danger. Actually, only Gregory and he had it coming anyways. Hopefully, she could relay the story and portray Rick in a different light than how Negan saw him. She knew she could pin it all on Gregory, although it was as much Rick's decision as it was Gregory’s manipulation. It actually didn’t matter anyways, Negan couldn’t hate Rick any more than he already did.

 

His silence stretched on before she decided it was time for a short story.

 

"Rick and Daryl had run into someone from Hilltop. He was taken to Alexandrian and he introduced us to Gregory. We wanted to set up a trading system with them, but that weasel-fuck Gregory put us in a tight spot. He told us about these 'Saviors' and that he wanted us to take care them out before we could establish a deal with them. He made you all out to be a bunch of fucking animals, so of course, Rick took the deal. I told him it was a stupid deal and he was going to massacre a bunch of potentially-innocent people just because some shady fucker told him to. Needless to say, I've hated Gregory from the minute he introduced his misogynistic, cowardly-self. Anyways, Rick didn’t listen to me. He just wanted to provide for us, and he figured this was the only way. It didn’t help that I was one of the only ones willing to voice my disagreement. It was unfair and it was risky for us, especially after Rick told us we had to kill some 'Negan' guy and I figured the chances of there being two people alive with that name was highly unlikely. Marcelo's ego was still bruised from that night so he was up for it, but I couldn’t care less. I moved on and he hadn't. I was never onboard with that decision. And that stupid stunt got two good people killed. Everybody blames you. I blame you. But I'm not so far up Alexandria's ass that I can't see that we brought it on ourselves."

 

Negan sat there in silence, replaying all the important bits of information she had just told him. He hadn't known Gregory's involvement, but he wasn’t surprised at his cowardice and slimy persona. He knew he wasn’t a fit leader and his ass-kissing was never genuine. But, he never thought he would actually have the guts to actually go through with an attack. Although, technically, he himself did not. And he knew the rest that happened— knowing Rick thought with his ego and not with complete sense was not news to him. That is why he attacked last night. He's too alpha-male to just give up to Negan so easily. He hadn't known, however, that Adrian had a certain clear-headed leadership that rivaled Rick’s. He saw her differently now. She had enough lady balls to fight with Rick over his hefty decisions and she was scary as hell, but she was also a sympathizer. She didn’t kill with a clean conscious and she didn’t take doing so lightly. He knew it was a weakness that she hid well. This also made her able to sympathize with him.

 

By no means was she on his side and was suddenly okay with all he'd done. But, Adrian understood why Negan had made those decisions that night. She also knew that Rick would not have stopped at killing just two of Negan's people if the roles were reversed. She hated knowing that she and mostly everyone in Alexandria were just as equally as monstrous as the man in front of her. She would never admit that to him, however. Negan knew she still hated him, but this new revelation about her character made a thought occur to him. His approach towards her was going to change from then on.

 

"Alexandria attacked last night. Fuckers were armed up to their assholes with guns and shit. Even brought a fucking tiger to the fight. We're at war, sweetheart. And aren’t you glad you’re on the fucking winning team."

 

"Just because you win doesn’t mean you're right."

 

* * *

 

 

Rick and Michonne sat with Jesus, Maggie, Daryl, Aaron, Marcelo and a few others as they talked inventory of guns, ammunition, people able to fight and attack strategies. And escape routes.

 

Suddenly, amidst their discussions, Father Gabriel walked in with a red-faced Dwight in tow.

 

"I'm in a hurry, so I'll make this quick. Negan will notice if I'm gone for too long."

 

Everyone stopped what they were saying and turned to look at the interruption. They were all still not accustomed to having him on their team and scheming with them, even if he had proved himself to them. It was just all still odd to them. Especially for Daryl who sat fuming in his seat.

 

"Adrian has been staying under the radar at the Sanctuary and I haven't talked to her, like you asked," he said, addressing Rick. In turn, both Michonne and Marcelo turned to look at him incredulously before Dwight could finish.

 

"What?"

 

"The fuck, man! We can use her on the inside."

 

Rick turned to look at both of them, trying to ease their concerns, telling them it was safer for her if she didn’t know what was going and risk putting herself in danger in there. Dwight had informed them days ago, when he had come to them for an alliance, that Adrian was found and taken by Negan, but she was not receiving the same treatment Daryl had while he had been there. This put Rick at ease, but he knew she was strong enough to handle anything Negan threw at her.

 

Dwight had no time to hear them bicker now, however.

 

"It doesn’t matter. She already knows what's going on. Negan told her. Last week, he told her everything that happened and I don’t know what else. Ever since then, he had her stop working the fence and is now working with the clearing crew, which gives her privileges outside of the compound. She hasn’t tried an escape and I don’t know if she's just being careful or…"

 

"Or what, man? Spit it out." Marcelo barked, agitated since the moment he had mentioned Adrian. Everyone knew he was the most affected by her absence and even more so after he had heard of her whereabouts.

 

"Or she just doesn’t want to leave."

 

The room fell silent, but Marcelo just scoffed.

 

"Why wouldn’t she want to leave. She's probably playing it safe."

 

"I don’t know. She and Negan have become suspiciously friendly. She used to work, have dinner alone, then go to her room for the rest of the night. Now, she eats dinner with him and Simon in his office, and it's a natural occurrence because I always give Negan the inventory reports after dinner and she's always there. And she's getting along with some of his top Saviors around, not just Simon, but Arat and Laura and some huge guy named Jaziel. I don’t know what angle she's playing but I can't tell if she is playing with him or if she's really just… given in."

 

"No. No way," Marcelo didn’t even entertain the idea of Adrian being a traitor.

 

"She's smart and she's loyal. She wouldn’t just roll over and become one of them like that. She's only been there, what, two weeks? No way. She's up to something—try to talk to her." Michonne also didn’t seem to believe Adrian would jump so quick to switching sides. 

 

"She's not just playing nice anymore, though. She told them about some military base a couple hours south from here that was worth checking out. Guess what? That hail of ammo they came back with puts yours to shame. And now, Negan wants to move her out of the clearing team and have her help the scavenging trips and tell them where to look."

 

"She wouldn’t turn on us like that. Negan isn't stupid either, how could he be falling for this stunt?" Maggie spoke up this time, her mouth tasting foul at the mention of Negan's name. She had been the first one to get Adrian to open up when she had first arrived and she had grown on her instantly.

 

"Eugene gave himself up pretty damn fast. Record breaking."

 

"Yeah, well Eugene's a coward. We all know that. _Negan_ knows that. But Adrian? There's no way she took the same route as Eugene so quickly and so easily. None of us believe that and neither does Negan. She's playing a dangerous game and she's gonna get herself killed," Daryl fumed, angry that Dwight was trying so hard to make Adrian out to be a traitor.

 

No one else said anything. No one cared to mention on Eugene, but they all knew that Daryl's analysis of both were right. Adrian wasn’t Team Negan despite what Dwight was telling them. They just had to figure out what to do with this newfound information. They didn’t know what angle she was trying to play and that left them in the dark.

 

* * *

 

 

Adrian walked into Negan's office to find Jaziel, Simon, Negan, and Dwight all seated around the coffee table. On the couch sat Dwight and Simon, while across from them in two single plush chairs sat Negan and Jaziel. Adrian took the empty spot between Simon and Dwight and took a sip of her water. The steamy weather was still not letting up one bit.

 

"We've been lucking out with all the ammo and weaponry we've been finding, but now without the communities providing for us, we’ve been having to ration a lot less than we have had to before. The garden is providing the basics— fruits, vegetables and some starches— but we need more. Rice, meat, and canned foods are becoming harder to find out in scavenges, so we're going to have to start to venture out farther than normal. Which means more gas."

 

Simon wasted no time on starting off the meeting with the bad news.

 

"I think expanding would help, too. Section off some land to start raising cattle for meat and dairy. Maybe even get some poultry."

 

"Adrian, where the fuck are we going to find cows and chickens to fucking breed."

 

"There's a couple farms I noticed you haven't scavenged yet that are labeled on that map," she nodded her head at the map laying on the table next to some inventory logs, "they're not too far out. I'm sure you can spare some people to go scavenge it."

 

"Even so, whatever cattle that might have been there once could all be dead or ran away," Dwight was quick to shake his head.

 

"Maybe with a small, private farm, but these are government owned. Those fuckers isolated their cattle pretty well. Probably locked up in sheds and barns. They might have starved to death by now, but they've had food lying around in there, and you never know, they might have survived somehow. You have more chances with the chickens being alive though, cause they're not caged up— they wander freely in the barns, so there's a possibility a couple of them have survived."

 

"You a farmer before all of this?" Simon asks, chuckling at the thought of Adrian in overalls and chewing on a stick of wheat.

 

"Nope, I was a stripper," She scoffs a laugh at Simon's eyes practically gauging out, his eyes trailing down her body.

 

"I would believe you if you weren't such a scary bitch. I still remember you blowing off Dave's hand without even hesitating."

 

"Oh, come on. That was so long ago. Even Dave forgot about it."

 

"Yeah, I doubt that. Fucker can barely wipe his ass now."

 

Adrian rolls her eyes, taking another sip of water while Negan just stares at her with raised eyebrows.

 

"She was a motherfucking cop. What was it you called it, sweetheart?"

 

Adrian glares at him as Simon blurts out a 'no way' and Dwight snorts. Jaziel actually looks impressed and Negan looks smug at her annoyed look.

 

"Wait, wait, wait… like a-a small town cop or like Men in Black." Dwight asks, earning an 'are-you-fucking-serious' look from Adrian.

 

"Men in Black hunted aliens."

 

"What?"

 

"Men in Black? The movies? They hunted extraterrestrial beings."

 

"What?"

 

"Oh my God, _anyways,_ answer the question," Simon said in exasperation at the back and forth between Dwight the dimwit and Adrian who was dodging the question.

 

"The Bureau." She said in mild interest as she picked up the map on the table to mindlessly exam in it.

 

"You were a fucking Fed? No wonder you seem to always have a rod up your ass."

 

That earned Simon a punch to the arm and a glare from Adrian. Negan chuckled from his seat across from her and she simply narrowed her eyes at him.

 

"I was actually quite pleasant before you all came into my life. It's incredibly tragic, really, " Adrian jokes and they all smirk and laugh, but not Dwight. He still hasn’t figured out what Adrian is playing at and he wants to light a fire under her ass and see what happens.

 

"Why are you here?" He asks, regretting it a bit at the bite in his tone.

 

"What do you mean?" She asks, her body careful not to shift in any way that may be suspicious to the men in the room.

 

"You're not supposed to be here, laughing and joking and enjoying our company like this. You hate us. You hate Negan. I'm just wondering why all of a sudden you're all practically best friends."

 

_Fuck, now I know why Daryl wants him dead so bad._

 

Adrian stared at him dead in the eye, trying to gauge why he was trying to jeopardize her life. She knew the men with her were probably wondering the same thing, but they never voiced anything. She knew she had to answer correctly or else all that little bit of trust and comfortableness she had gained from Negan would all go to shit.

 

"Believe it or not, I don’t have an answer for that. I ask myself that every day, and yet— I don’t know why I haven't killed Negan in his sleep. I don’t know why I like it here; I don’t know why I don’t feel disgusted being here with people who have tormented my friends. I _don’t know_."

 

She held Dwight's gaze until he broke it and looked back down at the coffee table.

 

Without looking to see the other's reactions, Adrian got up and made her way out of the room. She kept going, down the flight of stairs, passing her floor because she knew that’s where they'd look for her. She kept going and going until she was outside, the hot air hitting her, but she kept walking. Past the garden, past the armory, past the commissary, she kept on walking. She walked until she made it to the garage that held a bunch of cars and trucks and buses that were stored away for runs. She ignored the mechanics working there and continued towards the back where she knew there were a set of iron stairs attached to the wall. She had found that it led to the second floor that was vacant and left to gather dust, not having a useful purpose yet.

 

Adrian paced around, around, and around. Her mind was panicking because she knew that if her answer didn’t satisfy Negan, all the work she had done in the past three weeks were now possibly turning to mush. She was also upset that her answer hadn't been so far from the truth. It wasn’t a complete lie.

 

Adrian had had a couple opportunities to kill Negan, but she always decided against it, claiming that everyone would know it was her and they'd kill her in an instant. But she somehow wasn’t completely convinced by that. She also couldn’t deny any longer that she grew used to living among these people. Laura and Arat weren't as scary and hateful when they were drunk off their asses, jesting and fucking around with their little group of 'thugs'. She also didn’t know why she felt so comfortable with the people and the compound itself. She hated that she grew more and more relaxed and at ease and less and less hateful and disgusted towards the place.

 

And it had everything to do with Negan.

 

She had been around the man so much that she knew all the names of his wives, knowing each personally, and she even had the privilege to carry a weapon. She knew that she had slightly buttered up to him, but it had never occurred to her that perhaps she had played herself just as much. He was attractive and it was no lie that it helped her ease into playing nice with him. He was also charismatic when she wasn’t on the receiving end of his rage and revenge driven path. They had even talked about their initial meeting incident and had had their first argument then. Adrian joked with him as much as she could and was equally cold and bitchy with him to ease any suspicions. But now she realized that it had become less hard and less of a job to be like that with him and had become almost natural.

 

He was getting in her head and under her skin and she needed it to stop before she was no longer able to do anything about it. She knew that when the time came, she would be back with her family and she would have to stand behind their decision to kill Negan. But she needed to do it without doubts. At the moment that seemed harder to do than it seemed to have been almost a month ago.

 

There was a single window on the whole floor and she sat herself on the low windowsill. The view showed the back of the compound where there was nothing but dirt and a high fence and then the other side. The nasty, free outside. The side that would allow her to run home.

 

Light footsteps sounded throughout the floor and Adrian turned to find Jaziel walking towards her with his hands tucked into his front pockets. He reaches her and leans his shoulder on the window's side frame, his body turned to face her. He looks out the window for a moment before he turns his gaze back to her for a moment. They don’t talk, neither of them willing themselves to say anything. They stay there for an immeasurable amount of time before Adrian sighs softly and moves to get up.

 

"I want to apologize for how I spoke to you that first time we met. I threatened you and assumed things about you before even giving you a chance to make a case for yourself. With the time we've spent working together, I realize my asshole approach was unwarranted."

 

"It's all forgotten," she assured him, "besides, you were looking out for Nathaniel. I can't hold it against you for being a good dad."

 

"Yeah," he pauses with a small smile, "and I even hear you’ve been helping him with his reading and writing. And even math, even though, apparently, you find it to be 'the devil's work'."

 

Adrian looked down bashfully as Jaziel smirked down at her.

 

"He told you I said those exact words, didn’t he?"

 

"Yeah, and then he spent the rest of the night asking me about the devil and God. I swear he asked every question that could be asked and I felt like we had covered everything in the bible."

 

"Yeah, sorry about that. He asked me first and I told him to ask you cause you knew more about that. Should have figured a kid with his curiosity and intelligence would probably want to know everything."

 

Jaziel chuckled at the fact that she had thrown him under the bus with his own kid and submitted him to hours of religious talk. They both acknowledged and encouraged Nathaniel's curiosity and advanced mind. However, he had not enjoyed the argument about God's existence.

 

"You know, it's nice knowing we now have a trained government goon amongst us. Makes me feel all kinds of safe and gooey inside."

 

Adrian delivered a punch to his shoulder and the man barely moved from its force. His arms were purely made up of hard muscle and as deadly as they probably were, they were less threatening because of the man's hearty laugh and playful mood. Adrian and Jaziel had been cordial with each other after she had started working with the clearing crew and consulting with Negan and his Saviors. She had spoken with the man in a 'professional' setting but now they seemed to be getting passed that acquaintance phase.

 

"Come on, let's go get some lunch. Nathaniel has been pestering me to join you guys for some time. I swear, he looks forward to your playdates more and more every day. I'm surprised he hasn’t gotten bored of you yet, he has a short attention span with his toys."

 

This earned him another punch to his arm, albeit a harder one, and some colorful language that put Negan to shame. Their playful banter and laughter continued as they made their way to the cafeteria and towards the counter serving their usual menu. Nathaniel barrels through the faraway stairway doors just in time and instantly spots his dad and new best friend.

 

He runs as fast as his short legs can carry him and he stops full front in front of the two adults who look down at him in both amusement and adoration. He asks with palpable excitement if his dad is finally going to join them for lunch and as Jaziel replies with an enthusiastic 'I sure am, buddy', the room is filled with a piercing, loud shriek. A woman pales as she screams in horror. Adrian follows her gaze and sees two dirty, rabid-looking men pull out rusty looking knives, running wild as they make a grab at people to stab, blood staining them and their victims in rapid succession.


	8. Revelations

There was a split second where Adrian stood there, immobile, simply watching the rabid men stab an unsuspecting middle-aged man. It was clear that these men were intruders that had somehow managed to get past the security detail that make rounds twenty-four seven. It irked her that someone could be so careless. That split second that she granted herself in order to soak in the scene ended, and Adrian moved. There were only three Saviors in the cafeteria at the moment, all the dozen others off somewhere doing God knows what.

 

Adrian refocused and instinctively pulled Nathaniel away from the scene unfolding a few yards from them and nudged him into Jaziel's arms. The man had been ready to grab the kid himself, but he also felt he had to intervene and help one of the Saviors trying to fight off one of the attackers, while another struggled to disarm man with the sharp and deadly looking machete he held. Guns were useless as the men were moving frantically and there was no good shot to take. At least not without possibly shooting someone else on accident.

 

People rushed towards the exit and Adrian began to move against the herd and towards the commotion. She had planned to help aid the Saviors, but changed course as she noticed a third man dressed in similar ratty, dirty clothes as the other two. After a moment of confusion, wondering why he would leave his pack, Adrian took off after him as he ducked through the stairwell door. She ran after him and pulled out her gun, hoping to get a clean shot in the enclosed stairwell, but her hopes were crushed as he was up to the second set of stairs, right behind a couple of people who had escaped through the stairwell as well.

 

Much to her confusion, he sprinted past the people shoveling into the hallway of the second floor and kept on to the third floor. Adrian kept on his trail as he kept going and going, ignoring the hallways full of people that were visible as some of the doors leading into them were left ajar.

 

He finally pulled the handle of the final floor and made a run for it inside. The floor housed Negan and his wives so, the floor was guarded by two Saviors-- one walked the hall while the other stood guard at the entrance door. So, when the guard who usually had an uneventful day at work was met with the wild eyes of the intruder, he was too slow to deter the long jagged nice that swiftly pierced his skin in a flash.

 

A pained growl escaped his lips as the man retracted the weapon and continued on as if he had a specific destination. Adrian stopped to a sudden halt at the sight of all the blood gushing rapidly out of the man's abdomen. Blood spilled from his mouth like drool and he dropped to his knees in front of her, not even registering her hands pressing her shirt into his wound. She had had a dull cream-colored button-down shirt that was now turning crimson red at her futile attempt to stop the bleeding.

 

The other guard came rushing over as soon as he had heard the man grunt and groan in pain. The floor was shaped like a T, the hallway ending short at a wall and continuing to the left and to the right. Adrian had no clue which way the attacker had gone in since she had been preoccupied with her futile attempt at helping the injured guard.

 

"What happened?!" The second Savior asked in a panicked voice, eyes bulging as he took in the massive amount of blood on the floor, the now-soaked shirt, and Adrian's hands.

 

"A man attacked him. Did you see him?" Adrian asked in the calmest voice she could muster with all the adrenaline rushing through her system. The man was shaken enough, she had to be calm to assess the situation quickly.

 

"No. What the hell?"

 

"Okay, I need you to hold pressure on his wound." Adrian rushed out as she tried to flip her long, annoying hair out of her face.

 

"Yeah, okay."

 

The man was so shaken up that Adrian wondered how he ended up with the task of guarding Negan's wives of all people. But, she pushed the criticism aside she made sure he was set before taking off towards the wives' lounge area. She knew Negan could handle himself, so the poor defenseless women he had locked away in his tower were her priority at the moment.

 

Her legs moved fast at the sound of blood-curdling shrieks and cries that made Adrian's hairs stand on end. She could see the lounge doors were wide open and the scene she was met with as she stood at the entrance was heartbreaking.

 

Tanya and Amber were huddled together behind the bar, eyes blotchy and wet as they cried out loudly in fear. Eliza was on the floor crawling away in shock as she trembled, her eyes never blinking or moving away from the man on her left who was preoccupying himself with twisting the jagged knife into Frankie's chest. The man pulled out just to go in again, only this time just below the first stab he had made.

 

Without giving it much thought, Adrian rushed towards the man and tackled him. He was taken by surprise as he had not seen her coming, and dropped the knife near his head. He was on his side and quickly turned onto his back to deflect Adrian, but she was quick and got a hold of his head and slammed it back down against the floor twice. However, he had gotten a hold of that monster of a knife and brought it up to Adrian's face who barely managed to dodge it. She fell back on her butt in the process and he dropped her back to the floor, a hand gripping her neck tightly and cutting off her airway. His other hand raised to bring down the knife like he had done to Frankie's now still body.

 

Adrian quickly dislodged her gun from her holster belt. Her .44 magnum reminded her a lot of Rick's own colt python revolver. She had chosen it to remind herself of home and why she was currently where she was. Adrian had a loyalty to Rick that couldn’t match up to any other and she would proudly fight alongside him. Which is why she found herself in her current position.

 

Adrian's muscles shook and constricted tightly as she held onto the man's meaty arm in an all-out effort to keep that blade from lodging into her eye where it was currently aimed at. Her right arm fumbled slightly with the handle of the gun as most of her concentration was on keeping the knife as far away from her face as she could. Her grasp on him weakened slightly, but her right arm aimed the barrel of the gun right at the attacker's right elbow.

 

The knife got dangerously closer to her face so, in a desperate attempt, she moved her head to the side as she shot a bullet straight through the man's elbow. He dropped the knife with a pained howl and the blade managed to pierce the skin on Adrian's jaw near her left ear as it fell from his grasp.

 

As the man grasped his elbow in pain, now hunched over Adrian as he cried, she sent a blow to the side of his face and threw him off of her body. She went to get up but as she did, so did the man and she quickly sent a kick to his knee before he could really get his bearings. Again, he elicited a groan of pain as he fell to a knee as Negan's people did when they kneeled to him.

 

Adrian didn’t stop there, but kept going and sent a kick to the side of his head. She felt her still tender left shoulder ache from all the exertion already and feared to tear the healing tissue any more. So, she kicked the knife to the far away corner and aimed her trusty pistol at the man as he panted in pain and sat back on his haunches finally looking up at her.

 

His eyes were a beady black and his eyebrows formed a shape that made him look forever mad even though he was smiling at her. His crooked teeth were a rotted yellow and she looked on in disgust as he breathed out a maniacal laugh, shifting his gaze over to Frankie's bleeding body next to her. Adrian kept from shooting him in the space between his eyes because she knew Negan would want to do something with him himself.

 

Negan had halted his conversation with Simon and Arat when the piercing shouts of his wives resonated throughout the halls. All three took a second to register the sounds before they all shot up and headed towards the door, with Negan ahead of them. The long stretch of the hall seemed to last forever as he rushed over, stopping at the cross where the halls split where he saw Tommy, one of the floor guards, putting a knife through Brian's head, the lifeless body now heaped in the corner near the entrance doors.

 

The three took a minute to digest the scene before continuing on towards the lounge at the end of the other stretch of the hall. As they arrived, Negan, Arat, and Simon stepped into the line of sight just as Adrian pulled the trigger to the shitty-looking man's elbow. They saw the scene transpire as Adrian knocked him just hard enough to allow her to get her bearings and get his sweaty body off of her.

 

They watched in fascination as Adrian's face contorted into something neither had seen before as she sent a kick to the man's knee and then a sideways kick to the man's head and held a steady gun to his face. None of them— actually, no one at the Sanctuary— had ever seen her in action, really. There was no need for her to display her fighting side in the safety of the compound. But now, Negan felt that sense of security that he promised his people crumble. He knew someone had made a mistake and had now cost Frankie's life.

 

Negan barely registered her dead body before he was seeing red. Frankie had paid the cost of his and his men's mistakes and now he lost yet another wife. He was down to the three that now huddled closely behind Adrian who had yet to acknowledge the three bodies at the doors.

 

Negan stepped a foot inside and Adrian instinctively shifted her gun to aim it at him, before her shoulders and arms relaxed and aimed the gun once again at the man in front of her. Negan's grip on Lucille tightened as he walked around the two facing each other to get a better look at the man. He was definitely hard to look at and Negan wanted to torture the man a little, tease and taunt like he normally did, but all he could see was Frankie's bloodied corpse just a few feet away.

 

Negan's lips were pursed and his eyes were as hard as the day Rosita had shot Lucille. Adrian remembered that look that had actually scared her for the first time. She watched him as his body stood hard in front of the man who refused to say anything and simply stared back at him with a glint of amusement in his eyes. Adrian knew that Negan was a damaged, cold man but, he cared for his wives in his own detached way.

 

Without warning, Negan brought Lucille down to the attacker's arm, hitting right where Adrian's bullet had hit. The sound made in pain made the girls behind Adrian flinch. Eliza, who had had a front row seat to Frankie's attack and Adrian's struggle, now stood and reached to grasp her shirt from behind. Adrian turned her head to see Eliza's teary eyes stare in shock and fear as Negan continue to assault the man, but never aiming for his head. Not yet at least.

 

All that could be heard was Negan's grunts of exertion and the man's pained sounds and the squelch and cracking sounds of body parts getting hit. Negan was being guided by rage and he finally brought Lucille down to the man's head. Again, and again and again as blood seeped and covered the floor. The white rug was now tainted with Frankie and her attacker's mingled blood and Adrian reached back to remove Eliza's hand from her shirt and took it in hers instead, giving it a squeeze as she trembled behind her.

 

Negan finally stopped his attack once the man's whole body became indistinguishable. He stood there, breathing in heavily as Arat and Simon stood near the entrance, not willing to move in case of triggering the man any more. Adrian hated the silence and the tension and was the first to move. She stepped over to Frankie's body, crouching down, her fingers brushed away her hair from her neck and pressed two fingers to her neck. When she found no pulse beating beneath the skin, Adrian dropped her head to her chest, her heart aching at the beautiful woman's unfair end. She had spoken to her a handful of times and she had been very welcoming and kind. All the wives were, surprisingly, despite their spoiled and lavish lives.

 

Adrian had her back to Negan and hadn't seen him signal for Arat to take care of the man's body. He was too mangled to be put up on the fences, so he was to be disposed of like trash. He turned to his wives who were all staring at Frankie's pale body lying there lifelessly, their eyes red and puffy and full of sadness. First Sherry and now Frankie.

 

Adrian stood and turned to look at Negan who still wore that same hateful look in his eyes, but Adrian knew it was directed at the man and even at himself. She could see in the way that he looked at the woman's body that he felt responsible for her fate. He felt her death was on his hands and the guilt was as clear as day underneath all that rage.

 

Adrian unsheathed her knife from the strap on her thigh and wordlessly handed it over to Negan, the handle towards him. He looked at it for a beat before looking back up at her grief-stricken gaze and he took a hold of it. Without another glance, he made his way over to Frankie’s body and kneeled on one knee to plunge the knife into the side of her head. Adrian stopped watching him and instead turned to the rest of the women in the room who were still huddled together on the same spot.

 

Eliza dispersed from the group and lunged forwards to wrap her arms around Adrian's neck as she sobbed a ragged 'thank you' into her neck. She would have probably been next had she not intervened and Eliza would be haunted by the thought for a while. Adrian was met with a face-full of Eliza's curly blonde hair that sat atop her head like a messy nest. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around her in return and patted her back awkwardly.

 

As Eliza pulled back, she accidently touched the wound under Adrian's jaw and she hissed as it stung for a few seconds. Eliza gasped as she saw the blood that ran from her jaw and down her neck. The wound was pretty deep, but not too long, and would probably scar a little.

 

"You're bleeding," Eliza said, now moving her hands to hold onto Adrian's arms.

 

"It's fine. You girls should go clean up and rest or something," Adrian mumbled, moving out of Eliza's grasp and walking over to the large double doors. Simon stopped her on the way and turned her to face him.

 

Much to her surprise and apparently everyone else in the room, Simon gently took a hold of her chin and turned her head to look at the gash that now had slowed the gush of blood and had started to dry into black mushy crusted layer. Adrian met his eyes and she saw he held an unreadable expression as he released her face. Simon was usually a goofy guy and whenever he wasn’t smiling like a fool, he was full on raging and vibrating with anger. There was no in between, so this was an out of character display to all of them. 

 

"Come on, let's get that cleaned up before it gets infected," he urged her and she followed him out without question. They moved down the hall and she saw that the two Saviors were no longer at the doors that were now propped open.

 

They walked in silence as they made their way to the floor that held the infirmary and Dr. Carson. She now remembered that there were two others that were here that attacked a handle of people. She saw a few people standing around the infirmary doors, probably hoping to hear news on their loved ones. She saw Jaziel and Nathaniel walking out of the double doors and as soon as Nathaniel spotted her, he ran over to her, much to the displeasure of Jaziel until he saw where he had run to. Or to whom.

 

"Adrian!"

 

His small body collided with her lower half and his arms squeezed tightly around her middle. She combed her fingers through his hair as he tightened his grip on her. She looked up to see Jaziel standing a few feet away from them, a somber look in his eyes. The kid had probably seen some gruesome stuff in that cafeteria before Jaziel was able to get him out. Adrian felt for the kid, wishing he never had to live through something like that ever again.

 

"Hey, buddy, let Adrian go see Dr. Carson really quick, okay?" Jaziel placed a hand on Nathaniel's shoulder after a moment as he noticed the nasty laceration on her face.

 

Nathaniel only shook his head against Adrian's abdomen and Jaziel stared back at her in confusion and at a loss. Ever since his mother died, Nathaniel had been very independent and never clingy with anyone, not even with Jaziel. He had remained the same sweet kid he always was, but he had been more guarded emotionally.

 

"How about you go in with me and hold my hand."

 

Nathaniel nodded at this and quickly removed his body from hers, grabbing her hand and turning quickly to guide her into the infirmary. She sent an amused glance towards Jaziel and Simon who now stood together.

 

The room was set up with six beds equally spaced on each side of the room. She quickly counted three people lying in bandaged wraps on the left side of the room and two others were sitting up, being attended to smaller, less threatening wounds. Adrian was led to the right side of the room towards the first bed near the door.

 

Dr. Carson came over after Nathaniel ran to tug on his pant leg and told him something she couldn’t hear from where she sat. Jaziel and Simon stood against the door in front of her, also watching Nathaniel take the lead of looking out for her.

 

"Heard you got a nasty war wound. Let's see the damage."

 

Adrian turned her neck to the right to allow the Doc to prod at her wound, cleaning and putting in three stitches after he deemed the wound wasn’t shallow enough to just bandage it alone. She ended up with a simple extra-large sized bandage that made it seem like all she had was a small papercut on her face. She even had her hands cleaned of the dried blood that had stained her skin.

 

"Take some antibiotics to prevent an infection and you know how to clean your wounds. You’ve been injured enough times here to know the process by now," Dr. Carson joked as he referred to the first day she got to the Sanctuary when she had a huge gaping hole in her shoulder.

 

Adrian snorted in amusement and turned to see Nathaniel looking up at her jaw curiously while he held onto her jean-clad leg. He hadn't moved the entire time, even as she got her stitches. He hadn't said anything the entire time since he saw her— not to her anyways. She wondered if he was going back into his shell he had been in back when his mom died. She remembered Jaziel expressing his worry when that had happened, but thanked her when he noticed he was far more open with her than he had been during the whole time at the Sanctuary.

 

Adrian took Nathaniel's hand as they walked behind Jaziel and Simon who led the way towards the stairwell, presumably to take her back to her room to rest or whatever. Not that she felt she needed it.

 

"I'm gonna go talk to Negan."

 

"I don’t think now is a good time, sweetheart."

 

Simon was reluctant to let her go because he knew Negan was probably in the worst of moods at the moment and his anger and guilt tended to be misdirected. But Adrian was a stubborn woman, and after reassuring Nathaniel that she'd go by to see him after, she made her way towards the final floor. She reached the wives' lounge and saw that it was empty, the floor cleaned and the stained rug removed and the dead body of Frankie also missing. She figured he'd be in his room or office so she made her way to the other side of the hallway.

 

His office was unlocked and empty, so she walked over to the black metal door that led into his bedroom. Knocking softly, she waited to hear any sign of movement on the other side of the door. After hearing nothing, she knocked again, this time receiving an answer.

 

"Fuck off." He didn’t yell, but his voice was gruff enough to sound loud and firm.

 

She tried the knob and luckily it wasn’t locked because she knew he would have her knock all day and night instead of letting her in. He didn’t know it was her, but she was probably the last person he'd want to see right now anyways.

 

She hesitantly pushed the door open and took a breath before stepping in all the way and shutting the door behind her before she decided to turn away last minute. The room was gloomy and dark— gray bed sheets and covers, dark charcoal-colored sofas and plush chairs with mahogany wood and gray walls to complement. She shifted her eyes to the right side of the room where a small round iron table was set with two matching chairs on each side facing each other. How he managed to find a matching table set was beyond her.

 

On one of the chairs, the one facing towards the door, sat a slump figure clad in only a gray shirt and black cargo pants and black boots. A tumbler of whiskey sat in front of him with a half empty bottle to accompany it. His eyes raised to see who interrupted his sulking and his eyebrows furrowed just the slightest bit at who he was met with. She was the last person he expected would come by. He hadn't expected anyone really, but still.

 

"I'm pretty damn sure I said to fuck off."

 

Adrian didn’t answer nor did she move from where she stood. She continued to look at him with a reserved look in her eyes. Negan rolled his eyes, downing the rest of the alcohol before standing and throwing the glass tumbler against the opposite wall. Adrian's eyes stay fixated on him but her body slightly jumped despite her feeling that he would do something like that.

 

Negan sighed a ran a hand down his beard when he noticed she was still standing there with no intentions of leaving just yet. He didn’t know what she wanted but he swore that if she came to talk about his feelings and shit then he would throw her out. Literally— forcibly remove her if he had to.

 

"The attacker— I've seen him before. Well, his group at least."

 

Looking at Negan's stiffened shoulders and dark eyes, Adrian didn’t wait for him to ask her to continue before she did.

 

"Some months ago, shortly before the attack at your outpost, Alexandria was attacked by a group that called themselves the Wolves, a letter 'W' was carved into their foreheads as their mark. Our walls fell and a giant herd of walkers got inside, and I mean a gigantic motherfucking herd. We were overrun and we managed to kill all of the Wolves that had made it inside our walls. I think some might have escaped and survived, or there might have been recruitments. I'm not sure, but today… that man had a faded 'W' on his forehead. They're brutal and they’ve got more than one screw loose in their heads."

 

Negan remained silent and still so Adrian continued. 

 

"Also, I think this attack wasn’t random. They knew how to get far enough to go undetected. That guy made it a mission to go straight to this floor. He didn’t even try to attack anyone else like the other two. And if he had specifics as to what this floor held… who was up here…"

 

"They had inside knowledge without being on the inside," Negan concluded for her, nodding to himself with tight lips before making Adrian jump again, "FUCK!"

 

Adrian said nothing as she felt the palpable waves of frustration and stress rolling off of him. She pursed her lips to keep quiet as she let him pace next to the bed, his eyes getting this blank look in them. She knew he was deep in thought, that quick brain of his gearing and turning, trying to find answers to all the questions he probably had. Adrian simply watched him in curiosity. His long legs moved swiftly as he paced, his shoulders taut and prominent against the shirt, unlike the rest of him. Obviously wielding a bat all day, every day had its perks. His arms were muscular and well defined, supported by his well-built deltoids, but he was all lean everywhere else.

 

She met his eyes as he stopped pacing and stood facing her. She held his gaze in silence as his eyes finally showcased resignation. He was probably dead tired and she felt a dull urge to try to comfort him in some way. But, she knew he would not welcome it. He was a cold shell of a man who had probably once been decent in his life before. But not now. Not in this new life.

 

"I didn’t think about it, but I didn’t give Frankie a proper fucking burial. I just had her body burned…"

 

Arat had radioed Simon earlier, informing him that Negan had carried Frankie's body down to the giant furnace that was infamous for being the 'home of the iron'. He had done it in private with his wives, apparently, since she had no other family in the compound.

 

"Negan…" Adrian sighed as she understood that not only did he blame himself for her death, but now he felt shitty for not making her death into a big deal to everyone in the community for… what?

 

"Don’t." He warned her.

 

"You didn’t kill her. This isn't on you,"

 

"Then who?! Huh? Who the fuck else is responsible for their lives, then?! I promised them goddamn protection and safety and now two of my fucking wives are gone! Dead! This shit is completely on me so don’t bullshit me with some shrink talk."

 

"You're not Superman, Negan. You can only do so much for everyone here. You have men who are your eyes and ears all around this place, so when a mistake happens, it's on everyone. Not just you."

 

Adrian kept her voice even and calm, a contrast to his ragged and angered tone, hoping to not aggravate him further. She had no business offering the man words of comfort, but she found herself not being able to help herself. She felt a need to soothe the lines of worry and fury and guilt on his face. She was noticing that a lot of these odd moments of emotion seemed to be surfacing frequently as of late. She felt uncomfortable with the fact.

 

"Save me the fucking pep talk," he barked, eyes still gleaming with fury while he stared her down.

 

"I'm not feeding you lines and bullshit, Negan. Give yourself some fucking credit, what you do here—it isn't a walk in the park and anyone with sense can see and appreciate that."

 

Adrian felt the words to be like bile in her mouth. Every time she uttered an acknowledgement or compliment towards him she was reminded of the people back home. She pictured Rick and Michonne, Aaron and Daryl and Carl and _Maggie._ She pictured their looks of disgust and betrayal and anger at hearing her talk to Negan in such a reassuring and caring manner. It felt even worse when she knew that her words were not completely a line. She had spent enough time around the man to see that he worked diligently to provide for the people under his care. She respected his resolve and work ethic. Especially now that he only had his people to rely on for provisions and the pressure for survival was on.

 

Adrian was tired of all the conflicting emotions that racked her mind and her heart. She had never been like this. At least not since the very beginning of the outbreak. But ever since she joined Alexandria and let herself open up to the idea of becoming a family with them… she'd gone soft. She had always had her head on straight and thought mainly with logic and reasoning and nothing else. Marcelo had been the same way so it hadn’t been hard to do while it was just their small group. The only concrete feelings of emotions were towards Orbit. The thought stung her heart.

 

Adrian decided then that she would revert back to the woman she was all those months ago before Negan or Rick entered her life. She wasn’t this frail woman she had become. She didn’t want this life of agonizing and overthinking and constant _hurt_ and guilt that mangled her very core. She willed herself to push every memory of the Alexandrians out of her mind and built a cage around it like she had done with her parent's death and Luke's that night she made an awful mistake and cost someone their life. She didn’t want that to ever happen again. She needed to let go of all her inhibitions and restrictions that tethered her down. All of them were because of Alexandria and she mentally declared them a memory. They were in the past and now she had to move forward.

 

In order to do that, she also had to let go of all her remaining resentment she felt towards Negan. She wanted nothing to do with either communities anymore—at least she tried to convince herself of that— but, since she was stuck here for the time being, she knew she had to do the same for this place. To forget all he had done was going to be easier since her resolve had been cracking slowly as the weeks went by. She let out a breath as she willed herself go back to her old self. She wasn’t one to be so blinded by emotion. She needed to be that woman that Negan first encountered in the forest all those months ago. She needed that for herself if she was going to survive in this place.

 

However, that woman was also the same woman who had no chance of redemption. She had asked herself what chances Negan had at redeeming himself on that first night at the Sanctuary because her old self's chances were the same as the man standing in front of her now. She knew her old self was his equal, but that persona had disappeared as she changed with all her time around the Alexandrians that shoved their way into her heart. Now, she had to adjust back to that woman from that night again. She had done it once and she could do it again.

 

She had stood there for moments with all these conflictions and resolutions running through her mind. Negan had been stunned to hear her so vehemently try to ease his guilt and confliction, but he noticed quickly that she had zoned out soon after confessing those words of appraisal to him. He watched her, not wanting to interrupt her as countless expressions fleeted one by one across her face. Worry, frustration, and then resignation. He didn’t know what it all meant but the longer he studied her, the more he felt himself being pulled by her.

 

He had found her extremely attractive from the second he saw her head peek from over Dave's shoulder as she held him in a chokehold that fateful night. Then the attraction dissipated after she had busted his balls and escaped him for months. Then he found himself crossing paths with her once again in Alexandria and just knowing she was then under his thumb sent that attraction right back down to his happy helper.

 

She really was a sight to behold as she simply stood there in faded tight black jeans that sculpted her ass nicely and long lean legs that could wrap around him just as nicely. Her body was a dream, but her face was his favorite feature. Her eyes were bright and wide and her lips were full and plump, just waiting to be caressed with his own. He furrowed his brows as he caught himself having a moment of weakness. He had obviously found her alluring, but he had never planned to act on it because of the fact that she could probably kill him without hesitation. But he wasn’t blind or stupid or oblivious. He noticed the slight shift in her attitude and tone towards him, and despite her attempts at keeping it under wraps, he knew she was warming up to him with all her time here.

 

Negan was smart so, he kept her close and was kind and charismatic with her to gain her trust. He had hoped to have her slowly drop her guard around him and maybe even let go of some of that disdain she felt towards him. He figured it would take time and work and in the end, he would have her fighting alongside him instead of against him. He knew she was a valuable asset and with the right persuasion, he could have her on his team. He had easily done it with Eugene, whose weakness was that he craved validation and respect, which Negan gave him. Adrian was a sympathizer, despite her hard shell and the Great Wall of China that she had built around herself. That was her weakness— she felt too much for others and her compassion towards them was a fault, no matter how much she tried not to show it.

 

So, there they were, lost in their own thoughts and turmoil before they both zoned back in. Adrian's soft green eyes always betrayed her attempts to look menacing and imposing. But now, she didn’t put on a face that was a false representation of how she felt. Her eyes were soft and open and Negan quickly caught on to the change. Before he could figure out what the transformation meant, his radio cackled and Simon's voice rang through the quiet room.

 

_"Everyone is all set for the meeting, boss."_

 

Negan grabbed it from the night stand by his bed and pushed the button on the side to reply an affirmative.

 

"Show time, sweetheart."

 

And there was that cocky smirk back on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting in the Room of The Iron consisted of Negan addressing the attack from earlier, his condolences, promises to avenge the dead, and some other bullshit that Adrian didn’t care to listen to. Suddenly, from where she stood in the back, leaning on one of the metal columns that held up the foundation of the upper floors, she noticed every pair of eyes on her.

 

"Adrian here saved my fucking lovely wives and put her life on the motherfucking line to protect my women. Now look at her, she's got a fucking boo-boo on her pretty little face and that is just _not fucking right._ Now, I know some stupid fucker among us was a part of this little escapade…"

 

The crowd gasped, murmurs erupted quietly, and Negan went on to talk about loyalty and rules and shit that had Adrian resume her zoned out state. She hated long monologues and speeches. Rick did it often before Negan arrived and crushed all his hope and confidence, but Rick never droned out like Negan did. She moved with the crowd as he dismissed everyone and people made their way out. The day seemed to have dragged on forever, but it was barely just before dinner so, she decided to go pay Nathaniel a visit since she had promised him. She made her way towards his floor and sighed as she missed her trusty companion that would normally pant in glee at the sight of children. He would love Nathaniel. She wondered how she could get Orbit back without requesting right out to go to Alexandria. That would not go well with Negan. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I out did myself once again. This is the longest chapter I have put out to date. Adrian is blossoming into a much more complex character as I have determined where to take her character in terms of her mindset and relationship with Negan and Alexandria. It was a tad bit upsetting to write, but she's not 'Negan' just yet. Hope you all don't hate me too much now


	9. Learn Something New Everyday

After the previous day’s events, Adrian was reluctant to get out of bed the next morning. When she had gotten to her room after dinner with the boys— Jaziel and Nathaniel— she returned only to find her two swords laying on her bed, along with the bag she had carried with her the day she went into the city. She hadn't forgotten about her trusty weapons, but she had been rather hesitant to ask Negan for them. Now, she felt confident enough to ask him about Orbit. It probably would not go over well with him, but she missed the giant wolf look-alike more and more every day. 

She made her way to Negan's office like she did every morning to brief and plan and strategize. She was both grateful and disappointed that he never shared anything about the war he and his Saviors were preparing for so diligently every day. She knew weapons were being horded and collected in great masses and she helped in finding more for them. She also knew that target practice and hand-to-hand combat training was underway during the day as well. The men in the outposts were being brought in occasionally in small groups to debrief and strategize both offensively and defensively. She wondered what everyone back at Alexandria were doing to counterattack Negan's ever-growing army. They had a group that had just recently been taken in— around ten people, all who were survivors that made great soldiers for Negan to easy put in the line of fire. 

The office door shut behind her and Adrian made her way inside the room. She was the first to arrive and Negan was seated behind his mahogany desk, papers and maps laid out in front of him. He looked up to see her make her way to the seat in front of him, sighing as she sat down. She leaned her head back and maneuvered to rest her neck comfortably against the back of the chair. She took a breath as she shut her eyes and waited for the rest of the men to join them. 

"Came in here to fucking nap?"

His voice was gravely and rougher than usual, probably because he had just woken up and hadn't used his voice yet. Adrian smirked at the vision of Negan asleep, mouth open as he let out snores and drool dripped out of his mouth. Of course, the man was far too graceful for any of that and probably looked like Sleeping Beauty when he slept. 

Negan ignored the childish smile that crept on her face and instead went back to the scattered papers on his desk. They sat in silence with each other, Adrian not moving or making a sound that made him think she fell right back asleep. That was until she spoke up. 

"I want to go get Orbit from Alexandria."

Negan's head snapped up at her words, but she remained in her same position: head back, body relaxed, and clearly not fully awake if she was asking something like that from him. 

"I really thought we were getting somewhere together, sweetheart. I thought we had some sort of fucking understanding."

"We do."

"No, you clearly don’t fucking know me if you're asking me the most ridiculous fucking request I have ever heard. You really think I'm going to fucking let you waltz back into that fucking place? Fucking fuck that. No."

Adrian finally opened her eyes to look at him, her head lulling to the side to stare at him comfortably. He was glaring at her, but his eyes held a hint of amusement. He wanted to see what her counterargument would be. 

"I know how to get in undetected. Carl used to sneak out all the time to go out without Rick knowing and I know my way around the place well enough to know how to get around without being detected." 

"You'll get fucking caught. And if you really wanted to, you could stay there and blab all my little fucking secrets, and I got a fucking feeling that you want to do just that."

"I don’t want to."

"I don’t trust you, _sweetheart._ And you don’t sound very fucking convincing." 

"I just want Orbit back. What do I have to do to convince you to let me go?"

"You don’t have to do anything. You can go. I'm just going with you."

"You're gonna get yourself killed. They're not under you thumb anymore, Negan."

"Don’t you worry your precious little head. I got a fucking plan, sweetheart."

* * *

 

A few hours later, Adrian and Negan drove in a black truck with another following right behind them. Negan, ever the cautious man, decided to bring along a dozen of his men in case Adrian tried anything or if she got caught. Negan wasn’t there for a fight and he wasn’t planning one, but one can never be too careful. Adrian didn’t understand how he could so easily grant her request, without much hesitation and little persuasion. She knew he must have a motive, but she couldn’t quite grasp what it was. Perhaps he felt this would put him on her good graces, or prove something to her, but she didn’t quite understand. 

"Thank you," Adrian mumbled into the silence of the truck. Neither of them had anything to say and the silence was welcoming and not uncomfortable. 

Negan shot her a questioning glance before bringing his attention back to the road. 

"For letting me take Orbit home,” she elaborated.

Negan hummed in response, but said nothing about the fact that she had referred to the Sanctuary as home. Adrian hadn't even noticed the slip and continued to stare out her window. Her fingers drummed on the leather of the console between herself and Negan. Her hand moved slightly as the time passed and eventually she found herself absent mindlessly tapping on the handle of Lucille. It was propped against the console as it rested near Negan's legs. She didn’t even notice what she was doing, too busy conjuring up all the possible scenarios that may lay ahead. She wondered if Rick would be there and catch her, or if she could get in and out easily without anyone noticing. She knew how she would get in, but she had no clue as to how she would be getting out. Her usual work on the wall wouldn’t go well with Orbit, who is too heavy to carry as she climbed. 

Her fingers now rubbed the bulb of the handle, it was smooth and not rigid like the leather on the console. She looked down to realize what she was rubbing, and much to her displeasure, Negan had noticed as well. He was sending glances between her and Lucille while she had been zoned out, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about someone else touching Lucille in that way. Sure, he had had Rick hold her, and a few of his Saviors, and he even let Fat Joey get his meaty hands of his precious girl. But that had been different. It felt different to see Adrian caressing her in a manner that only he did. He was perplexed and uncomfortable all the while.

Before he could say anything, however, Adrian drew her hand away and rested it on her lap, her gaze once again fleeting to the window. 

It wasn’t long before they were just out of reach of Alexandria and Negan stopped his truck. The one behind them followed his lead, and both him and Adrian hopped out to join the other Saviors. They all huddled around and Adrian silently stood as Negan told them to split up and surround the area. It was a bit dark out; the sun being hidden by dark gray clouds, odd considering the current season. 

The Saviors dispersed into the shadows of the trees and Negan walked back towards their truck. He pulled out Adrian's bag and two walkies before handing one over to her. She took it without a word, and he gave her a look that was more of a warning than anything else.

"Don’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of, sweetheart." 

With that, she nodded and started the trek towards the walls of Alexandria. Once she could she the walls somewhat far away, she got off the road and merged into the shadows of the trees. She made her way towards the east side where she knew Carl had his bars set in. With a bit of luck on her side, Adrian saw that they were still in place, and began to climb the wall. Once she was over it, she noticed that the rods on the other side were missing, except for the last one. She figured now that they were at war, Carl was more apprehensive to go outside the walls alone. Too bad for her. 

Adrian dropped her body and hung on by her fingertips, which stung as the sharp metal cut into her fingers. She grasped on as much as she could to the folds of the metal, and let her body slide down. She barely balanced against the fence long enough before she went flying straight into the floor. Her body fell with an 'oomph' and her body stung from the hit. 

With a low groan and a quiet curse, Adrian stood and took in the houses and streets she hadn't seen in over a month. A melancholy feeling swam through her before she suppressed it and began for her house. She weaved her way through the walls of the houses and walked along the disserted and empty streets to walk across the streets. She managed to make it to her house without any interruptions and the adrenaline was rushing through her body, pumping through her blood. 

She made her way to the side, her head peeking into the window that showcased her room. She was relieved to find no one in there and all her stuff exactly where she had left it. She felt another tug at her heart, but again, she ignored it. Her hands slid the window up and she heaved herself up and into the room. 

Her body pushed her up and she landed swiftly on her feet, the carpet under her allowing her to move around quickly now without making noise. She gathered her clothes and belongings, and even took the baseball cap that Marcelo had lent her months ago. It was now a faded blue cap that had the faint logo of a Pegasus with the name of a restaurant underneath that spelled 'High Horse' in small letters. She had always begged Marcelo to let her borrow it since she knew how much he loved the ratty cap, and after a while, he gave in and let her borrow it for a while. Only she never gave it back, and after much bickering, he let her keep it. 

She put it on and took note of the smell of Marcelo that lingered on it. He had worn it recently, probably all the time, but had returned it to her room every time. Again, that feeling tugged at her heart unwelcomingly. 

She moved to the door and pressed her ear against it. No sounds came and she figured Marcelo and America were either on guard duty or out on a run somewhere. She opened her door as quietly and as quickly as she could and peered her head out, looking both ways before stepping out. The door shut softly behind her and she made her way towards the stairs that led to the front door. 

She quickly spotted Orbit lying awake by the door on a blanket that she set out for him after her first run with Alexandria. He had a bed in Adrian's room where he slept with her, but when she left for that first night without her, he had laid asleep by the door two nights in a row before she arrived. Marcelo had tried to coax him to go sleep in her room, but he had refused, insisting on waiting for her at the door. 

Adrian smiled as her heart tugged at the thought of her trusty companion sleeping next to her door every night, waiting for her return every morning. 

He sensed movement in his peripheral view, and like the skilled dog he is, his head perked up quickly to assess the intrusion. But as he noticed Adrian standing a few feet away, he let out a howl and a bark so loud that she thought would attract the whole block. He quickly pounced and placed his paws up and on Adrian's thighs, his tail wagging so fast she thought it could fall off. She let out a laugh of joy as the burly dog nuzzled his head against her torso and nudged her hand with his wet nose for her to pet him. 

"I missed you, too, buddy," she whispered with a laugh, but she quickly tapped his elbow three times for him to get down on his paws. It was one of the tricks she had trained him to learn, and although it had been difficult, she was glad she had done so. 

However, he continued to let out little whines and growls in content so Adrian let out a command for him to stop.

" _Anhalten_." 

It was a rough command, but only because it was German and everything spoken in that language sounded stern and commanding. But it immediately halted Orbit and he sat back, his ears perked and ready to listen. Damn, she was grateful for those special training classes. 

She was well aware that Negan was listening on the walkie as he had insisted her to keep it on so that he could hear everything happening on her side. He had also remained quiet so he wouldn’t accidently blow her cover at a bad time. And although he wanted to made a comment earlier when she had fallen from the wall, and when she had cooed softly at the dog, he remained quiet. Waiting for her get back to him safely and undetected before teasing her. 

Adrian quickly made her way through the house after she was sure that no one was home. Orbit's loud howls and growls would have quickly attracted them had they been home, so it was safe to assume that she was alone. Outside, she found herself walking towards the gates, weaving her way quietly around the back of the houses, undetected. Orbit followed quietly, her own body language telling him how to behave and to follow her lead. For a dog such as Orbit, Huskies were meant to be wild and hyper and really hard to handle with all that energy they never seem to run out of. But, Orbit was just as obedient and smart as he was playful. 

The front gates came into view and Adrian didn’t recognize who stood guard. The tower guard also looked unfamiliar and Adrian thanked the high heavens for the luck she was receiving that morning. Her stance shifted and Orbit now walked beside her, his black pelt had often helped him blend into the darkness, but the whites around his face and neck made him stand out from the front. And his clear blue eyes that nearly look white at times glow in the dark like a beacon. 

The guard at the gate looked at her and Orbit in confusion, obviously not recognizing her and wondering where she's heading off to. 

"You heading out? It’s dangerous out there alone," he calls out as she makes her way towards the gate latch. His Southern accent is heavy and she notices he is dressed to match his voice. Jeans, flannel, goddamn cowboy hat to match, too.

"Yeah. There's a house not far from here that I want to check out. I cleared it with Rick yesterday." 

The lie slipped easily, but she tensed as she noticed his walkie and his skeptic look. He could easily radio Rick and ask him about it. Fuck. 

"You sure you wanna go out there alone right now? It ain't too safe."

"You're new around here, huh?" Adrian asked. She wanted to be civil with the man and simply slip out without any trouble, but the man was making it difficult for her. 

"Yeah, name's Tommy. Got here a week ago with my brother Drew. I guess we haven't been properly introduced."

Damn, he was nice and proper and goddamn _cute_ in that next-door-neighbor kind of way. She knew he was really young though, and she wasn’t no cougar. Ugh, that made him unattractive now. 

"I'm Adrian. It's nice to have you on the team, Tommy. Since you’re new, I’ll give you a quick rundown and I'll let it slide that you just tried to tell me what's good for me. I run this shit with Rick, and I just got back yesterday after a long trip outside of town. You don’t know me, so you don’t know what I'm capable of. I can handle my shit and I suggest you open that gate before I have to handle you and open it myself. I'm not your typical gal, Tommy, so I suggest you learn that real quick." 

"Yes, ma'am." He mumbled after a pause, flushed as he brushed by her and went to open the double gate.

Adrian felt a high at seeing the man flustered and clearly learn his place with her. She wondered if that was what Negan felt when he would torment Rick. Hell, he probably felt that every day with his Saviors. He felt that feeling and got that high every second of every goddamn day. 

She walked past the gate with Orbit in tow, and turned to give Tommy a wink before walking into the darkness. The man blushed as he closed the gate behind her and Adrian sagged in relief that she now had her only trusted friend beside her and was out of Alexandria. She knew Negan would have retaliated in some way if she had done anything stupid, like stay or made her presence known to anyone. She thought about doing just that, but she also thought about Nathaniel. Negan wouldn’t hurt the child, but she would have if she had never gone back and left him without an explanation or a goodbye. 

The truck she had arrived in came into view and she saw Negan's figure leaning against the hood. He was twirling Lucille with his gloved hand. He saw her approach but his gaze quickly shifted to the menacing wolf-looking dog at her side that snarled his teeth at him. He guesses he remembered him from that first night. 

Adrian sensed Orbit's hostility and discomfort and barked another command at him to tell him to stand down. His snarling stopped, but he continued to look at Negan with those steely ice blue eyes that looked downright threatening. But Negan would never voice his fear of the wolf. 

"See you got you mutt back." 

"You shall address him as King Orbit, not mutt. That’s a demeaning term." 

Negan saw her serious look and raised his eyebrows at her, asking if she was really serious. He rolled his eyes and returned to look at the dog, really pondering whether he should address him in such a ridiculous manner. Adrian noticed his face as he considered it and she couldn’t hold back that giggle that bubbled up in her throat. Negan's head snapped back to towards her face as she laughed and he huffed. 

"You were really gonna do it, oh my god!" She couldn’t stop the laughter that ensued and Orbit relaxed as he noticed her laugh. This meant he could relax as well and his once rigid body sagged as he sat and panted with his huge pink tongue out. 

"Shut up, let's go!" He barked at her as he let out a low whistle to signal his other Saviors to roll out. The ones in close proximity heard and radioed over to the ones that were too far out to hear. Soon enough, everyone had piled back into their respective vehicles and made their way back towards the Sanctuary. 

Orbit sat in the back, his excitement returning as he had his hind legs on the back-seat bench, but his front legs stood on the console between Adrian and Negan. He was smiling and panting as he looked out the front windshield. Soon, he began to smell around the air in the car, his nose leading him to Negan who tried to scowl at the dog to leave him alone. However, Orbit only continued to sniff his arm and side as he drove and Adrian watched in amusement from her seat. 

"Call your beast off of me, damn it!" 

Adrian only laughed in return at the sight of the fierce, almighty leader looking so uncomfortable with the dog's inspection of him. Adrian stopped laughing but continued to beam a smile at the two and Negan had to double take at the sight. He had never seen Adrian genuinely smile at anyone, not really even at Nathaniel. Not when he was around at least. But in that moment, she looked so content and joyful that he nearly forgot to look back at the road. However, he did and the dog turned his attention to Adrian who welcomed the dog's sniffing. Only this time, Adrian took some licks and kisses to her face as well. 

She continued to laugh as he licked a particular spot under her chin that tickled her. Negan didn’t even realize he himself was smiling at her laughter, and he figured then that maybe the huge mutt wouldn’t be so bad to have around after all. 

* * *

 

When they returned, Negan tasked Adrian to help in Training Boot Camp for a few hours. Negan had given that title to the training because it was an intense and heavy, five-hour practice that involved shooting, hand-to-hand combat, knife fights, only they used makeshift knives made from scraps of plastic and Styrofoam. And Adrian's personal favorite, sniping. There had been a handful of men and women that had impressed Negan enough to make it into that training. With Eugene providing bullets, they didn’t have to worry as much about wasting too much ammo. Until then, Negan hadn't found anyone good enough to lead the sniping team, and he had voiced his frustration to Adrian. 

"Yeah, they can get close enough to the fucking target, but goddamn, none of them know about strategy or how to properly handle the fucking thing. I'm no fucking expert myself, but fuck, they look goddamn pathetic." 

"I can train them," Adrian shrugged, arms crossing over her chest as she leaned on the armchair of his couch in his room. It had become an odd habit of theirs to converse in his bedroom now more than his office. Orbit had also joined them now, as he followed her everywhere, and Negan's apprehension towards the wolf decreased within the day. 

"You know how to work that monster of a fucking gun, sweetheart?" Negan teased, making Adrian smirk as if she knew a secret he didn’t. 

So, now there they were. Negan, Simon, Dwight, Jaziel, Arat, Laura and a few other Saviors standing on the sidelines to watch Adrian prove her skills. 

There was a walkway that served like a bridge between the guard tower at the front fences and a small building that housed Eugene's new working space. From where Adrian stood, she faced the west side of the compound, the other guard tower opposite from her. To her left, was the walker blockade and the fence, and to her right was the buildings of the compound. The entrance of the Housing building was closed so that no one came out and accidently got in the cross fire that was about to ensue. Adrian had been given an objective. She had to hit three targets: one was up close, only a few yards away, clear in her sights. The second was to the left of it, behind it just a few yards further back. The third was on the other side of the fence, between two walkers that were chained to a block of cinder. The chains were short so they couldn’t wander far, but they could still move around. She was meant to hit the target without hitting the walkers at all. And she was being timed. 

Adrian knew she could get them all in record time and do it perfectly. Adrian had a secret that she had yet to tell anyone. Only Marcelo knew about it. She had never even told Rick. Adrian's cockiness was laughed at by the other Saviors. Even Eugene went on and on about what time she’d finish with due to the speed of her bullets and the probability of hitting her targets accurately, but he wished her good luck anyways. 

So, there she stood on the walkway in clear view for everyone to see. She had been given the liberty to choose her weapon and she pretended to think it over, but she had made a decision once she had seen the beauty on the table. She wanted to seem oblivious to the differences in guns, figuring everyone thought she just wanted to play 'Savior', even though she had proven her skills. However, only a handful of people had witnessed it firsthand, whereas the rest hadn't. 

Therefore, the only ones not snickering and making side jokes were Simon, Negan, Jaziel, and Arat. Jaziel simply didn’t join in on the teasing because they were friends, but he hadn't ever seen her in a position where she had to exclude her power over others. He had mostly only seen how she was with Nathaniel and in the morning meetings in Negan’s office.

Adrian only smiled as she heard the jokes and teasing, knowing she could have them all on their asses without breaking a sweat. But she wouldn’t. 

She ended up picking a .300 Win Mag rifle; it was a monster gun that was heavy as shit, but she carried it up and across the walkway anyways. She set it up appropriately, taking her time, only she didn’t stay standing in her position once she was done. She had seen the other recruits do so while they took their shots when Negan asked them to. He wanted her to see where they all stood, and she took note of their faults as well as their strengths. 

Dropping onto her front, Adrian had enough space on the walkway to lay on her stomach with her legs fully spread out behind her. She propped herself up and placed the appropriate part of the butt of the rifle against the front of her right shoulder. She was taller than average, muscular in all the right places, but she was still small, so the kick of the rifle would send her off balance a bit more than she'd like. When she was on the field, she would have protective gear that would prevent that, allowing her to stand to full height, or even crouch. But now, in only a tank and flannel, she knew the kick would unbalance her if she stood. 

Resting on her elbows, Adrian positioned herself comfortably and looked towards Negan once she was ready. He caught her eye and he called out to her. 

"Ready whenever you are, Killer," he jested, causing her to quirk an eyebrow at him in response. She knew the timer would start after she took her first shot, so she took a breath before lining up her first target. 

It hit right in the bullseye, not surprising since it was the easiest. The second one was farther, so she repositioned herself and the rifle quickly, cocking it once more before hitting the target dead center. Cocking her gun one last time, she aimed in between the two walkers and took a breath before pulling the trigger once again, hitting the target square on. It only took a matter of seconds before it was all over. 

"That was too easy, I could've hit those!" 

Adrian looked over the rifle to see Simon smirking at her. He was teasing her in all fun, but soon the rest joined in. 

_ Seriously? Let's show these cocksuckers.  _

"Negan!" Adrian called out, catching his attention that was already on her anyways, "do me a favor, honey, and go stand by the front doors!"

Negan quirked an eyebrow at her this time, but abided and waltz over to the doors of the Housing building with Lucille in hand. Fuck he was not going to be happy with her, but she'd make it up to him. 

"Alright, now hold out Lucille with both hands like you're halfway through a hit— just like that! Okay, now hold her with both—yeah! Okay, twist her a little— yup! Right there. Hold tight, sweetheart." 

"Adrian! You better watch what you're about to fucking do, sweetheart." 

Everyone stood quietly in anticipation of what was about to unfold in front of them. It was obvious that Adrian was aiming to shoot Lucille, but no one understood how Negan was allowing that to happen. Everyone was entranced to see how he would react and what he would do in retaliation. No one breathed. No one understood what the fuck was going on. 

Adrian knew that she could hit the bullet that was still lodged in Lucille where Rosita had hit her. But, she also knew that if she hit the bullet wrong, it could create more cracks in the wood. Hell, she could miss the bullet entirely and just lodge another one in there alongside it. It was even harder when it was in between two close links of barbed wire. It was a one in a million chance that anyone would be able to hit it just right. But Adrian wasn’t just anyone. 

Besides, she couldn’t back down now. 

"Negan, bend your knees for support, I don’t need you falling over and hitting your pretty little face!" 

Adrian smirked behind the rifle at Negan's scowl, but did as she said. Adrian returned her face to the scope on top of the rifle. She took multiple deep breaths as Negan stood rigid and waiting for the hit to come. He had no fucking idea why the fuck he was letting this happen. He was putting Lucille on the line for Adrian to have a bit of fun. He knew she wanted to put a stop to the teasing, even though it didn’t really bother her. She had tough skin and he knew that. He also knew that she was probably a great shot, but he was still apprehensive about whatever she was about to do. If she harmed Lucille in anyway…

Adrian took one final last breath. 

_ "Take a deep breath, pull the trigger, and hit your target." _

_ "Geez, if it were that easy, everyone could take that position of Lead Sniper."  _

_ Morgan only laughed and continued to encourage her with words of wisdom. Adrian was due for her evaluation for Lead Sniper and she was nervous as fuck. She did not like to lose or come in second. She always had to be first. It was really a flaw she abhorred.  _

_ "Okay. Relax your shoulders, but tense your arms. This machine is a goddamn hellhound and you gotta control it before it controls you. The scope it always just a millimeter off from the target, this rifle is like a laser and is accurate, but nothing is perfect. It's simple intuition, luck, and skill to know just how far off you need to adjust it. You need to always handle the gun, Adrian, not the other way around." _

__

_ “Got it, boss-man.” _

** Brat! **

The sound resonated throughout the front of the compound and as if in slow motion, the bullet went flying right into Lucille. 

Everyone stood still as Negan stumbled slightly before quickly bringing Lucille up to inspect her surface. Adrian didn’t move an inch, her face still up to the scope. 

"Holy _shit!"_

Adrian closed her eyes before removing the rifle from her face and moving to kneel back on her haunches. She saw Negan's unreadable expression and swallowed with a dry throat. He bent to pick up the casing off the floor and held it up in front of his face. Adrian quickly dissembled the rifle before making her way towards Negan along with the other Saviors. However, they were hesitant to get close as no one could gauge Negan's reaction. 

Adrian jogged up to the doors where he still stood and took Lucille from his grasp without thinking twice about it. The bullet lodged in it from Rosita was still intact and no other cracks were added from what she could tell. Suddenly, she started laughing in relief that she hadn't just earned herself a beating from the deadly invention. 

"Holy shit, motherfucker," Negan uttered in shock at the fact that bullet seemed to have not even hit her at all. 

Adrian, giddy as fucking ever, showed the bat to Simon who came up to them first. Then to Arat, Laura, Dwight, and Jaziel. Negan simply watched the proud look on her face as she showcased Lucille to everyone, but never let anyone else take a hold of her. When she was done, she turned back to Negan and had the audacity to look at him sheepishly as she gave him back his beloved weapon. 

After a few moments, the Saviors dispersed and went back to their training and jerking around, expect for Negan and Adrian. She still looked proud and giddy, but it was much more contained now.

"I guess being a Fed pays off in the goddamn apocalypse, doesn’t it?" 

"I didn’t learn how to shoot a sniper rifle from being in the Bureau." 

"Where the fuck from then? Fucking playing Call of Duty all day?"

Adrian laughed at his joke and he was thoroughly surprised. No one laughed at his jokes— at least not genuinely. Everyone feared him or hated him. Simon was the only one who truly found him humorous, but in that moment, Adrian found him hilarious.

"No," she let out a final chuckle, "I was stationed in Afghanistan for a year as a consultant, at first, but then I was asked to go back as a marksman. That’s why I got this bad boy here." 

Adrian lifted her left arm to showcase her wrist and inner forearm. There was a tattoo of a rifle engulfed by a snake wrapping around it. It was a simple black tattoo with not much artistic creativity, but Negan had to admit it was badass. And extremely hot. 

"What about that one?" He pointed to the one above it, right on her wrist. It was of a skull, only the bottom half where the jaw was meant to be was shattered and the pieces were tatted to make it to look like they were blown off by the rifle underneath it.

"On my third day stationed in Afghan, me and thirteen others were sent on a clandestine mission to scope an uprising group that wanted to torture and kill American soldiers for United States intel. I was Lead Sniper and four of us were stationed around their perimeter on the highest buildings. We needed to take out as many men as possible but, leave the leader and his right-hand alive to interrogate and assess their organization. 

"Obviously whatever was happening on the inside was a mess and a few men started fleeing out from the building they were holed up in. My other snipers took them out but I was keeping an out for the two we were meant to keep alive. The right-hand man was the first to come out from the east of me, and I knew I couldn’t kill him so I took a shot at his knuckles. It's the smallest parts that really do the most damage. Anyways, he went down from the pain and he couldn’t fight back when the soldiers took him.

"Then, the leader came out from the back, only wherever he was heading was away from me, but then he turned to look behind him and I sent a shot through his jaw and it shattered his jawbone completely into pieces. And the right-hand man also had shattered remnants of bones that went flying everywhere from the shot. From then on, they called me 'Bones' and Marcelo even made me get the tattoos from some guy there that had learned to do it from his dad." 

"Holy shit… that head fucker didn’t die from that shit?"

Adrian simply shook her head and blushed at his intense gaze that he was giving her. The look conveyed respect and something else. Her head hung as she flushed pink and a small, timid smile adorned her face, something so uncharacteristic of her. Although, as of late, everything she felt and did was out of character for her. 

Negan stared at the woman next to him in shock. She looked too young and naïve to have done something like that. He would have never figured a girl as small as her and as innocent looking as her would ever have to live through a time like that. Through a world they lived now. This woman had been turned ruthless, however, even before the world went to shit. That stoic and steel-hard woman he met all that time ago in the woods was not a complete result from the dead rising, and he was curious to learn what else was the cause. 

* * *

 

The rest of the day went as it usually went: scavenging plans, lunch with Nathaniel, guard duty (now accompanied by Orbit), and then dinner with Negan. There was always something else to talk about during their dinners. Sometimes it was Savior talk, other times it was talk of the other communities, although never about what he planned to do about the war they had declared. Other times, they simply ate in silence with some comments here and there. This night was no different. 

Adrian sat on the couch in his bedroom with her feet propped up on the table in front of her. However, Negan now sat next to her rather than across from her like he normally did. Orbit laid comfortably near the door by Negan's bed. This night, they talked about how she met Marcelo. 

"He was a giant arrogant asshole when he first joined the Bureau. He was transferred over from another unit and I had only been with the team for a year. But, he grows on you, that fucker. He's annoying as shit, but he's my best friend."

Adrian sensed his discomfort at the tang of melancholy her tone conveyed when she spoke about Marcelo so, she tried to lighten the mood. 

"No one is as annoying as you, though." 

Adrian pointed her fork at him before popping a piece of bread in her mouth. 

"Oh, I can think of someone who is much more fucking annoying than me. I think you might even fucking know her," he jested back, her eyes narrowing, but he kept that annoying smirk on his lips as he chewed on some beans. 

"Ass. I can easily have Orbit bite your happy helper down there. He wouldn’t even hesitate." 

Adrian's threat only widened Negan's smirk and she quickly saw the innuendo coming. Before she could sigh in exasperation, he opened his mouth. 

"You could hold your own, why don’t you fucking bite it yourself. I like a little pain," he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. If she had been told a month ago that she would be sitting in Negan's bedroom joking and flirting with the man, she would have laughed. 

"Oh, you couldn’t handle me, Negan," Adrian huffed out, only half sarcastically, as she tore another piece of bread and popped it in her mouth. 

"Fucking try me," he replied quickly. 

Adrian looked over at him at the seriousness of his tone, now void of any of the humor it held before. She stopped mid-chew and stared at him for a beat before she continued and swallowed the remaining bits of mushy bread. 

"You're not serious," she laughed in disbelief, but she found his intense stare unnerving and she had to look away. 

Reaching over, she gulped down some water before setting it back down, Negan still not having said anything, which was unlike him. He loved to talk. 

She chanced a glance back over to him as she noticed he had yet to utter a word to her. Her eyes were a dewy green that Negan could only compare to a kaleidoscope. Sometimes they were bright and looked like a grassy meadow would look like in the sun, and then it was a far darker shade that looked like tree leaves in the night. But they were always enticing, no matter how light or dark they looked. And they had light specks of gold and yellow that were clear only when really looking at them. 

Then he looked at her lips, which were a light shade of red that could pass as a dark pink. They were parted as she stared at him in confusion. She couldn’t pass that boundary line with him of all people. She knew he wanted her, and maybe she did as well, but not enough that she would complicate things between them. Things were already complicated enough, and he had wives. If he really wanted a lay, he could go find one of his three willing women. And she didn’t want to have any problems with him when they were with the other Saviors. No way. This couldn’t happen. 

"I'm gonna go get some sleep," she muttered, before going to stand. 

"You really gonna fucking pretend you don’t want this shit as much as I do?"

'I'm not pretending. I'm just deciding that it's smarter for us not to act on it." 

Negan stood and grabbed her elbow as she turned to walk towards Orbit and the door. His chest was pressed firmly to her back and his head was dipped to breath into her hair. 

"What are you so afraid of, _tuts?"_

The nickname was said in such a tantalizing voice, only not to anger her, but to send goosebumps down her spine. 

"You have wives for this shit, what are you bothering me for? And I don’t need shit to be awkward when we're out working together. And knowing you and your big fucking mouth, you'll tell everyone just to spite me and amuse yourself," she spat back at him, but didn’t turn or make a move to remove herself from the heat his body was releasing on her back. 

"Right now, I don’t want my wives. I want you. And, fuck, we won't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret. More fucking fun that way, anyways," he whispered as he brought his lips down to her earlobe. His ever-growing scruff scraped the sensitive skin as his lips pressed feather-like kisses to her ear. 

He got a few in before Adrian's eyes shot open, not having felt them shut close. She willed herself to move, and she found herself at the door, opening it with Orbit in tow. Her dinner long forgotten as she made her way to her floor. 


	10. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a shorter chapter than what I usually post, but I felt I needed to post something soon. I promise, action picks up in the next chapter, finally! Enjoy!

A woman's desire is a hell of a feeling. It's fascinating how the body and the mind could be so opposed at times. Adrian knew that she wanted Negan sexually. She didn’t find no point in trying to deny herself of the man's appeal. He was confident, and rightfully so. He was a smart man and was not oblivious to his own charm and looks. Sure, he was old of age, but the man seemed to age like fine wine. But, Adrian also knew that sleeping with the enemy would get her nowhere and her pit of despair and guilt that got deeper with each passing day would only continue to deepen.

 

Negan also knew he wanted Adrian simply to release some of the pent up sexual frustration he was harboring for the woman. But he also wanted her for another purpose entirely. After that first attempt, Negan never thought of asking her the infamous 'who are you?' question because her answer would never falter. No matter how loyal she could pretend to be, nor how much she trusted or liked him, she would always be 'Adrian'. She was a force of nature that both shocked him into silence and riled him up in all the senses of the word.

 

But, having Adrian in such a vulnerable state before him— exposed, begging, and at the mercy of his stimulation and control— would be worth more to him than her saying she was 'Negan'. With any other woman or man, Negan would expect nothing less than getting that desired answer. But, Adrian was different and having her in such a state of vulnerability was so much more valuable to her than her pride. It was just a feeling that he had. If he could bed Adrian, he would have her completely.

 

That, and he would finally get to see her ridiculously amazing body in all its glory.

 

The following morning was not awkward at all. Adrian decided Negan was just your regular Joe with the urge to get his dick wet by new pussy every week. He would get past her refusal and go get himself a fresh, new wife. Adrian didn’t mind. She could let up her sexual frustration on her own, and if Negan decided he wanted to play games— which he most likely did— then she could hold her own against him as well. Adrian had a killer poker face and she didn’t let her hormones guide her decisions. No matter how good the release could be.

 

"I think we should head out tomorrow. These past two days have had oddly fresh weather, which would be good for us since it will take a few days to get to the farm I have in mind. It might require an overnighter or more— _if_ we get there and back without a hitch."

 

Adrian continued to lay out the plans, the before, during, and after preparations, to the couple of Saviors that would accompany her on the trip. It would be her first trip out of the Sanctuary since she had arrived, and although she was apprehensive of Negan's decision to task her with taking the lead on the scavenge, she decided to put her all into it.

 

Adrian's team consisted of her own choice of Saviors. Arat, whom she had gotten to know better during guard shifts and because her room was across the hall from her. She would occasionally invite her to join their game nights when they didn’t have shifts to cover and before her dinners with Negan. Sometimes afterwards. Laura, who would join them at times and lived a few doors down, would also be joining her on her scavenging team. Where Arat was brutal and quick, Laura was resourceful and assessed every aspect of every situation. For obvious reasons, both women were pretty high on the Saviors command chain. In private courters, Laura was loud and inappropriate and Arat was less inclined to chime in in conversation, but proved to be quite witty when she wanted to be. Both women were complete opposites, but very useful assets in a world like theirs.

 

Adrian also chose to take two burly men, Gabe and Hanes, who were cousins and looked as mean as men could get. Except, Adrian learned rather quickly, that the men were giant teddy bears, but smart and ruthless nonetheless. They would do anything to survive and they were smart about it. And then there was Dominic. Don’t let the name fool you, she was a hell of a woman. It was probably her last name anyways. A head shaved on both sides, but full-grown hair in between that reached her neck. She styled it back and her tan face was taut and Grinch-y looking no matter the situation. At first, everyone thought she was mute because she never spoke, but then Negan scared her shitless and she uttered a word that sounded so gruff, as if she hadn't spoken in years. Which wouldn’t be so far-fetched given what the woman had probably gone through out in the free world for years.

 

She proved herself to be very unforgiving and callous. Almost barbaric, but it would come in handy. Everyone Adrian chose was useful and strong-willed— she made no room for cowards or those who hesitated. She wanted the least amount of problems she could face and with her hand-picked team, she would get just that.

 

"It's gonna be a long trip and it's going to be tough being so far away from home, so if we get in deep shit, well, we're gonna have a hard time getting help. So, let's _not_ get in deep shit. I want this to go as smoothly as possible, so, I picked Saviors I respect and who I know don’t fuck around and get their jobs done without complain and minimal mistakes. Don’t make me regret choosing you all. I want to get this shit over and done with as soon as possible."

 

After the group was dismissed to get their go-bags, Adrian headed out and leaned against one of the trucks that they would be taking on the trip. Supplies and weapons were loaded in the trunk of one of the muscle cars and the other stored simple survival necessities and medicine that didn’t fit in the first one. Adrian had been ready that morning and now she waited for the thirty minutes she gave them to pass up.

 

"You know, hearing you boss my men around makes me fucking tingly in all the right spots," a warm voice whispered in Adrian's left ear.

 

Adrian turned to look up at Negan who was bent over to her side with a shit-eating grin stretched across his face. His eyes twinkled in amusement as she quirked an eyebrow at him in response, but said nothing to encourage the conversation further.

 

"Hope to hear more of that shit out there, sweetheart."

 

"Wait, what?" Adrian called out to him as he retreated back into the Sanctuary, her confusion seeping through her tone.

 

"I'm fucking tagging along on this little road-trip," he replied, turning halfway to shoot her an 'obviously' look.

 

"Why? You should stay here and man the ship. You're at war, remember? They need you here in case anything happens," she didn’t know why she was so adamant at keeping him away from her, but she wanted this trip to be Negan-free.

 

"Simon will be manning the ship in my absence. I trust the man's judgement and leadership skills. Besides, I gotta make fucking sure you don’t get any funny ideas."

 

"I don’t need a babysitter. If you don’t trust me then why'd you put me in charge?"

 

"Because I know fucking cooping you up and shit in my grand fucking castle will do you no good, and you need to loosen the fuck up, tuts. And besides, it was your idea after all. Wouldn’t be fair if all these other fucks took all the glory."

 

Adrian let out a noise of disbelief before heading into the building to look for Nathaniel. She had nearly forgotten to say goodbye to the kid. She's grown very protective and attached to the child and she hates to think how she and him would deal once she went back to Alexandria. She figured Rick wouldn’t want to take in any Saviors, and Nathaniel would not go without Jaziel. She wouldn’t dare separate the pair. She didn’t want any families to suffer at the hands of this war. Especially not Nathaniel and Jaziel— they had been her first real friends at the Sanctuary.

 

She found the door to his and Jaziel's room open, but only found Jaziel in there. His backside was the first thing she saw as he was bent over the chest at the foot of his bed. The head of the bed was up against the wall to the right of the door, a nightstand was to the right of it and to the left was a smaller bed with Buzz Lightyear bedsheets. To her right, a built-in kitchenette similar to her own took up the whole wall, a small round dinner table to accompany it.

 

"I'm assuming your bed is the one with the Toy Story covers? Never pegged you as a Disney fan,"

 

Jaziel straightened, turning so quickly that Adrian was almost caught with her gaze down below his waistline. He was obviously caught by surprise as his eyes were wide and his mouth in a thin line. He recovered quickly and flashed her a sparkly all-toothed grin.

 

"It's my dirty secret. Please don’t tell," he faux pleaded.

 

Adrian made a motion with her fingers, running them over her lips like a fake zipper, her eyes comically wide and serious. Jaziel chuckled before fastening his holster belt along his waist.

 

"Is the Little Man in class?"

 

"Yeah. You gonna see him before he goes, right? Cause he ain't gonna stop sulking and crying if you leave without saying goodbye."

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going already. I know you just want me out of here."

 

Jaziel laughed but stopped her as she turned to leave. Turning to glance at him, Adrian raised her eyebrows expectantly.

 

"Be careful out there and come back in one piece. Alive."

 

Jaziel's concern made her lips turn up slightly and sent him a wink as she turned back to leave the room.

 

The small building that Eugene utilized for his projects had a huge conference-like room that Katherine used as a classroom. Katherine was a short brunette with large blue eyes and pearly smile that made her look angelic. She was the perfect teacher for the kids of the Sanctuary. There were only a dozen currently residing and three of them were toddlers, the youngest being only four. The rest were about Nathaniel's age and the oldest being around sixteen. They all loved Katherine, who was the sweetest teacher, but the shyest woman. She seemed most comfortable around her students, and Adrian understood why. She also felt that ease and peace when she was with Nathaniel, despite the short time she had known him. And despite her apprehension towards kids in general. Adrian wondered why Negan hadn't made her a wife, but Adrian assumed that she had turned him down, and she respected that of her. There was no doubt that Negan had made the proposition to the twenty-something girl.

 

Entering the makeshift classroom, Adrian spotted Katherine leaning over at a small desk as she aided a kid who looked around twelve. She then turned to look for her favorite kid, spotting him in the corner with some other kids, making engine noises as they played with toy cars. Adrian sometimes watched from the door as Katherine taught a lesson, so he wouldn’t notice her, but he noticed her then.

 

"Adrian!"

 

The excitement in his voice made Adrian's cheek rise in the cheesiest smile that only he could bring out of her. His little legs clad in only shorts carried him across the room and into her arms, Adrian's arms wrapping securely to lift him up and place him on her hip. Despite his age and weight, Adrian didn’t mind carrying him and neither did he. He protested and claimed he was too old to be carried like a baby, but on rare occasions, he welcomed it.

 

"Are you leaving today?" His timid voice was like honey, smooth and gentle, unlike his father's. Jaziel had a gravely tone that was soothing, but also intimidating at times. 

 

"Yeah, I'm gonna be gone for a few days. You gonna be good for your daddy, right?"

 

His affirmative nod was almost comical and Adrian's grin only widened. Placing a quick peck to his forehead, Adrian went to set him down. She wanted to run something by Katherine before she left, but the shy woman was always odd around her.

 

"Are you taking Orbit?" Adrian's attention was brought back to the doe eyes that stared up at her.

 

"Sure am. He's my partner in crime," Adrian's heart swelled at finally being able to do what she does best with her favorite companion.

 

Nathaniel let out a 'humph' of distaste and Adrian knew he was jealous. Ever since she had brought back Orbit and hauled him around everywhere with her, Nathaniel voiced his concerns that she wouldn’t pay him as much attention anymore. The thought was silly, but she understood that he had some clear abandonment issues. His mom had died right before his eyes and his dad, although unintentionally, often left him alone due to his Savior duties. Adrian knew he needed the reassurance so she gave him a bit of it. With some bonding, he grew open to Orbit, but that slight jealousy still lingered.

 

"Aw, come on. Orbit is my baby, don’t be so mean to him," Adrian's pouty face seemed to be so comical that he let out the tiniest of giggles. He was so easily dissuaded.

 

"Alright, I gotta head out, but do you want me to bring you anything back?"

 

His rushed shake of his head and wringing of his hands had Adrian smirking in amusement. He was too shy to ask for anything, but she knew.

 

"Alright, well I'm gonna go talk to Ms. Katherine before I leave, okay? I'll see you in a few days."

 

With a final tight squeeze from the kid, Adrian made her way to the front where Katherine was helping some older kids with their reading. She glanced up when she saw her approaching the table and went to stand up to full height. Her small 5'3 stature had Adrian towering over her and she wondered if that's what Negan felt when he stood next to… well, everyone, really. He was a giant.

 

"Um, hello… ma'am," her timid referral to Adrian as 'ma'am' had her raising her eyebrows up to her hairline.

 

"I've been told I have the face of a child, so I hope the 'ma'am' is a reference of respect and not my age. I don’t think I'm _that_ old."

 

The woman squirmed and stuttered, tripping over her words and Adrian couldn’t bring herself to put her out of her misery just yet.

 

"No! N-no, of course, not, I just- I don’t mean to be disrespectful, is all. I'm sorry, I, uh, didn’t mean to offend."

 

Adrian smirked at her obvious distress. She would've passed it off as nerves, given that Adrian was considered a "Savior" and ranked highly in the hierarchy of the Sanctuary. And, of course, she had a close relationship with Negan. But, Adrian knew Ms. Katherine didn’t just turn down Negan because she held herself with respect. Ms. Katherine had a crush on her. At first, Adrian caught her glancing at her chest for long periods of time, but she attributed that to their height difference. But then, Laura had made a comment that she was staring longingly at her ass while she dropped off some materials for the class once. And sure enough, Adrian turned, still bent from placing the boxes down, and caught the woman's timid stare.

 

Of course, Adrian couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have some fun with the petite brunette. She just couldn’t help herself, and it helped that she was cute when she blushed.

 

"No worries, Kat. Just Adrian from now on is fine. I wanted to ask if you needed anything for the class— or anything in general, really."

 

"Um, no, I think we're all set here. I actually gave, uh, Laura a small list of things to look out for but, nothing too urgent. T-thank you, though."

 

"Alright then," lightly knocking her knuckles on the table twice, Adrian sent her a soft smile before bidding her goodbye.

 

Walking towards the entrance door, Adrian noticed Negan's looming figure leaning against the frame. His eyes were set on Katherine, so, she turned, catching her eyes on her retreating figure. A blooming blush adorned her cheeks at being caught and she quickly turned back to her students.

 

"I see you're the reason Kitty Kat didn’t become wifey number four. You sweet on her _kitty,_ sweetheart?"

 

Adrian smirked at the innuendo in his use of the word 'kitty'. She always enjoyed a good pun.

 

"Even if she didn’t play for the other team, she still wouldn’t have become your wife. And no— I prefer dogs over kitty cats."

 

Adrian sent a glance to his crotch that he sure as hell did not miss, making him halt in place. He looked around with wide eyes to see if anyone was around to hear what she had just said, but no one was. He watched as she continued to walk away from him and towards the trucks. His gaping mouth closed in a giddy smirk as he caught up to her, rather easily with his longer legs.

 

"You're getting bold, tuts. It's cute."

 

And with that, they stopped at the driver's door, Adrian's hand loose on the handle. She smiled sweetly before yanking it open and climbing into the high bench of the military vehicle. He stood watching her as she moved and closed the door in his face. Despite her sharp wit, he knew she was all bark and no bite. She would never go any further with him anytime soon. He wasn’t foolish enough to believe she wasn’t still fiercely loyal to her Alexandrian cause.

 

Behind her, Dominic climbed in next to Orbit who was sitting on his haunches. His head was out his opened window and his tongue hung out, salivating at the thought of a car ride.

 

Negan made his way around the car to get into the passenger seat, wanting to be in the loop since Adrian was leading the pack. After they all settled, Adrian honked at the truck behind them which held the cousins, Arat and Laura, to signal them of their departure. The pack then headed out past the gates of the Sanctuary and into the open road.

 

 

 


End file.
